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Bad behavior: what reaction correct? How to tell the child there ``are no

years

of What behavior is admissible and acceptable for the child and what is extremely undesirable? It is not as simple to solve this problem as can seem at first sight. Let`s try to find golden mean between excessive severity and permissiveness.

What means bad behavior?

For the child the bad behavior is a communication form with the adult, can be in the way to draw attention and to report about the desires. Therefore if the child shows bad behavior, first of all, try to understand that he wants “to tell“ you in such peculiar way.

the bad behavior can mean

In various situations: “I do not know what to do to me“, “To me the attention is required“, “I was tired“, “I want to do something else“, “I do not understand what occurs around“ etc.

Tells mother of the two-year-old boy:“ The son quietly played, but after a while began to be capricious, scatter toys and to stick to the little sister. I began to lecture it and tried to distract a new toy“.

What has happened? the Child long played

and lost interest in game, mother was busy with the affairs. The kid “used“ the little sister to draw attention of mother and to receive activity change.

How to prevent bad behavior?

Analyzing behavior of the child, try to understand what situations cause “failure“, and try to prevent them.

the Child begins to behave badly with boredom - in time offer occupation change.

the Child is capricious when you speak by phone, - put a box with toys nearby.

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requires your attention during game - talk to the child, ask the interested questions.

difficulties during joint shopping Arise - tell that you buy for what that else it is necessary to buy. Make the “pictural“ list of purchases for the child, suggest the kid to find together with you in shop products necessary to you.

Allocate to

typical situations in which the child behaves badly, and choose the corresponding strategy.

How to react?

Try to react to undesirable behavior at once, without waiting for a right moment. For example, if the child at a playground takes away toys from other children, you should not wait for return home. It is necessary to stop undesirable behavior and to explain what so cannot be done. Overdue reaction: “You behaved on the street badly“ - is useless, it will give nothing to the child.

Avoid phrases of type: “What bad boy“, “Look what bad girl!“ to these you underestimate the child`s self-assessment. Let know that you do not approve behavior:“ You arrived badly when took away a toy from the boy“.

the Right for aggression

Sometimes kids with big delight throw toys on a floor, break constructions from cubes, knock a spoon on a pan, play with the reel or the hammer. On the one hand, noisy games allow the child to splash out the collected emotional pressure: the sharp movements and loud sounds promote a discharge. With another - similar games give to the child feeling of the power over people around. Breaking, throwing, clapping, the kid feels as the king. Allow “king“ to enjoy the force in an admissible game form.

In many families the ban on aggressive behavior exists: the child cannot bite, be pushed or fight. Gradually the understanding comes that it is impossible to offend relatives. But despite it, the child nevertheless experiences aggression. The remarkable toy - a tumbler toy can come to the rescue, she suffers kicks and pushes, “speaking“ to the child:“ You can be tender and kind, but sometimes a little aggressive“.

It is careful: self-aggression!

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At some children develops an addiction to put itself injuries: to fight the head about a floor or a bed, to bite itself, to punch a forehead, to pull out hair etc. It is important to understand what occurred in a family what changes caused such reaction. The similar behavior can be also connected with fear, alarm or disappointment that the child is not understood. He tries to report something again and again, but, without receiving attention and understanding, falls into rage, venting offense on himself.

to the Child to whom self-aggression is peculiar can suggest to splash out negative emotions, playing with wet sand and water. Allow to pour in a basin with sand water, to dissolve “dirt“, to touch it. It is possible to add small toys to wet sand. Later, when the child will calm down, try to clear his feelings and to learn what aroused indignation.

If attacks of self-aggression do not pass

, consult with the psychologist.

be not afraid to tell

“no“

If parents are exacting and understanding at the same time, the child feels safe, he knows that it is allowed to it and what can punish for. Therefore it is very important to be able to tell “no“ when it is necessary.

If the child does to

something unacceptable in your opinion (for example, beats other child), follows you surely, but without irritation to tell “no“ and to explain that it is impossible to beat people, but it is possible to take by hand, to greet or stroke on the head. When you forbid something to the child, show the corresponding emotions. Do not make noise, do not draw attention of other adults - just let know that you do not suffer such behavior.

If you told

“no“, then try to adhere to the decision. The child has to know that he “no“ means “no“. Conceding to the child`s requests, you can get to a trap.

Remember that constant bans will lead to the fact that the child will begin to ignore them. Therefore use a ban when it is really necessary. You do not seek to limit too freedom of the child, he has to investigate world around, learn new and study on the mistakes.

Family rules

In each family on the course of life are developed by

certain rules. In order that the child acquired them, they should not change daily, and in requirements of different family members there should not be contradictions. The child has to understand that if something is forbidden, then importunate requests and a hnykanye will not help. Having realized it, the child usually follows rules: their constancy gives it feeling of safety.

Children are very bright

and can check you for durability. At this moment can seem to you that the situation only becomes worse. But do not despair, it is temporary. As soon as the child understands that you are constant in the requirements, the behavior will change for the better.

Be honest

in the relations with children if somewhere were mistaken, be not afraid to tell about it and to recognize the mistake.

Of course, standards of behavior - it is healthy, but we should not forget also about humanity. Sometimes, so there is a wish to go to bed soon after usual or to eat more sweet, for example, during a visit of park. And as it is pleasant to go out into a warm summer rain and to jump on pools barefoot. From time to time afford these small weaknesses, they do us happier and there are in memory much longer, than ordinary norms.

We want

that our children grew sensitive, kind and understanding. For this purpose we have to set them a positive example. Children follow the examples more, but not to words. whether

Can be operated difficult behavior?

Usually adults try to stop undesirable behavior bans, threats, arrangements or not to notice whims. But sometimes rather simply sympathetically to listen to the child and to try to see a situation from his point of view.

Show

to the child that you understand it and you divide his problem. “You took away the machine because it was pleasant to you from Petya, and you wanted to play with it too“. It provides to the child feeling of safety and self-confidence.

However, sympathizing with the child, do not allow it to do what violates in advance made demands:“ But it is impossible to select toys, suggest Petya to exchange machines or choose another“.

to Show

that you understand feelings of the child, it does not mean that you “follow the tastes“. Remain a row and you speak with the child by a quiet voice.

Have at yourself the favourite book or the child`s toy. It can help if you are in shop, in transport or talk to people. If you feel approach of undesirable behavior, get the book and try to talk to the child.

you Carry in a handbag a small bottle with solution of soap bubbles. If it is necessary to distract the kid on the street, it can help out you. Bubbles, as a rule, cause positive emotions in most of children.

Facing difficult behavior of the child, try to keep calm and a positive spirit. Besides negative remarks, do not forget about kind words for your kid. You praise and approve the child when he behaves well and shows even small progress (for example, quietly draws).

with

Often parents are confused by reaction of people around to behavior of the child. Do not attach it great value. At different people of idea of bad and good behavior are various. Therefore do not worry that people around will think.

Try to find occupations from which the child receives positive emotions and behaves well (for example, walk in park or game at a playground). You find time for these occupations and receive as much as possible positive emotions from communication with each other.