Rus Articles Journal

Needs of the person. What and how many for us it is necessary actually

the Psychologist Galina Artemyeva argues on true needs of the person - which everyone should realize and experience. And about in what the true love to itself is expressed.


It was thought: today Saturday. Where the people since morning? “I will not tell you for all Odessa“, but I know that Saturday - time store...“ Auchan“ and other shopping centers, horror of our life. Also I do not think nobody to offend. Naturally, itself I shop in “Auchan“ when I am in Moscow. But always, with relief approaching cash desk, I think that visited the country of nightmares. The huge carts full of stuff, a lot of things are taken in only that case that today it is one ruble cheaper...

Really all this can eat, devour, gobble up, to be absorbed in a week? Or all have families of twenty people? Or all these Saturday crowds prepare for a wedding? Or... One of my first American impressions of almost fifteen-year prescription: huge carts in a supermarket which are pushed by huge people people are elephants in extreme degree of obesity. Not old, but buried under own fats. Terrible impression as consumer society symbol. Also there was no wish to rejoice and admire to the fact that “everything is“.

It that - a main goal and happiness of life, its sense that there were 20 shelves with toothbrushes? 50 shelves with toothpaste. Both other, and other, and other... We achieved it. Carried out. Persistently imposed to us and imposed meaning of life of the individual in a consumer society. Sense simple and clear. You live to buy. You are born that to you bought (the list follows further...) . You grow and the list of things grows together with you... You study - wonderfully, the list increases. And here you were already almost created. To you it is necessary both to eat and to put on (not worse than others), and the car (a certain brand), and a computer, and the mobile phone, and.... As it is good that you are! There are so much shopping centers and corporations the person needs you!

You have to ruin the life on race behind belongings, a grub, prestigious brands of what there it is necessary to make by prestigious that who pulls threads of your desires. It is not necessary that you were thinking, reading, arguing. You in vain will spend time which is released to you on earning money which you are obliged to spend for goods then. To consume. To let in one opening, from another to let out. At last the meaning of life was designated in all its simplicity. The person should be brought up so that he created requirements to consume as much as possible!!! Also notice: try to make of people of primitive ruminants from all directions.

I watch

Ya at a photo of my aunts which grew up me. Beautiful faces. Clever eyes.... They much were deprived. Days off carried out behind reading or walks on park. There were in our life exhibitions, theaters, art galleries, river trams on Moscow - the river, cinema... A lot of things it is remembered. But tried to remember shopping. So, that for the whole day. To nightmarize on full. Never was it. You represent? Never that they went to shop just like that was. To spend time. To look... To have a good time... Behind bread I ran also behind milk. From the first class. That it is heavier, adults - between times brought... It was necessary and in queues to stand, there was it. But it was considered as horror and a lack of life. Voluntarily in shop nobody spent day! I remember how coats winter bought me in the fifth class. Came, chose and bought. Followed a coat, chose and left. Point.


of Time. It is so much pleasures and pleasures around! And these pleasures did not demand terrible investments and an enslavement at all. Walk - pleasure. The lectures at university given by the best professors free of charge - come, visit... Museums... As easily we gave themselves to drive into slavery of things! Understand, I not for that all went, ugly and colourlessly dressed. I not for that people ate unclear what. I against poverty and scarcity. But I for that people, having looked around, looked for other reference points. For the fact that our only life should be devoted not to consumption for the sake of consumption, and to searches of requirements - that is the real sense of human life.

I an example from Ariyela Sef`s book “Given rise in a ghetto“.

her Parents before war lived richly: the father was the famous doctor, mother got huge inheritance. But here Germans came to Lithuania.“ While the father was imprisoned, Germans accompanied by Lithuanians rushed into the apartment. (...) Came by two trucks with the list. They had rather exact list. At mother was what to take: all property left by the grandmother - the pictures, silver, diamond necklaces bought at some exhibitions on travel across Europe. It got all family values. (...)

to Pregnant mother some German or the Lithuanian put the gun to a stomach and demanded to transfer everything according to the list. Mother did not resist. Everything was open, is not locked. Here also all, literally took everything, including furniture. Trucks left, filled up to the top (...)

mother became absolutely indifferent for

After war to things. Completely interest was gone. She did not buy expensive furniture, dresses, jewelry though opportunities at it appeared. (...) It had only two or three dresses“.


Ya more than once that the people who passed through serious tests are as if cleared of thirst for things. They see and understand other values in life. There is a lot of them that things in this list become absolutely superfluous.

it makes sense to Look for p these values and when life, fortunately, develops safely...

Without what we cannot and we have no right to manage?

Love to itself to Tell


about love to itself in recent years it became popular. The idea per se theoretically very much is close to all. But how to realize it and in what, actually, this love has to be expressed?

On vacation in fine Mediterranean hotel my compatriot gathers a breakfast at a rack still-room: fish, sausage, ham, cheese, rolls of all types, yogurt, salads, pies, cakes...

- Itself should be loved! - she explains to me. - I will indulge myself, darling.

Love the neighbor as

Great Evangelical manual.

I it contains an ideal of a human world order. The love for the neighbor has to be born exactly in that measure, as well as love to itself. Any violation of this balance conducts to a tragic disproportion.

you Will love yourself and not to love neighbors? And how then you will be able to exist among unloved? The continuous negative from which and the love to itself will instantly wither will fall upon your head.

you Will love neighbors, forgetting about yourself? Oh, the neighbor your love will also be heavy! Because the love of the unfortunate person is always cruel, exacting and despotic.


a Millennium ago about it it was already told. And more than once it is repeated. It is a pity what is heard not by all:

B each of us there lives a small child. We grow, we blossom, we grow old. And the child remains himself. If we forget about it to care, it becomes cruel and embittered, eternally scared and from it aggressive.

to feel happy, we have to care for the internal child as would care for the baby who was brought into world.

We correctly (on hours and according to indications of its health) feed with


We adhere to a daily routine.

We please with

him, we learn, we entertain.

We diligently bring up it.

We are strict

, but are never cruel.

We train it in life among other people.

We never frighten by


the True love is always based on respect. The person respecting himself will not afford most low a mouth in own eyes. It and alone with same, as well as in the face of many. Having appeared in others house on a visit, he will not begin to rummage in others boxes, respecting himself. It will not take the stranger, respecting itself(himself). He will not take part in discussion and condemnation of others, respecting himself. He will also not begin to indulge in a gluttony and laziness, remembering that his only life cannot be dissipated so absurdly and thoughtlessly.

Yes, we grew up in the difficult, bad world. Since kindergarten, we faced disrespect for our personality, impudence. For the least thing in us cultivated a fault complex. We were intimidated by punishments and the description of possible consequences. And now we simply do not understand how to begin to love ourselves. In us such program is simply not put.

It is a high time for p to create it!

Loving itself, I:

  1. I Accept the problems and imperfections. I such (or such) what is! Unique, only. In something unlike the others. But from it I am not worse and it is not better.
  2. I think of
  3. Ya positively. I achieve goals. My words: I want - I can - I do .
    When you are in group of persons interested to get rid of the excess weight of ladies, at once you see at whom it will turn out rather easily and who will hardly achieve success. The first are ready for success. Joke, smile, impart experience. Eyes of the second radiate mistrust. They wait for a dirty trick. They are in advance ready to negative result. They demand that they were convinced, but all the same agree to differ. Really nothing is impossible to them! They it is simply firm and firm are ready for it.
  4. Ya I do not afford anger, irritation, envy. All this naturally is wrapped against me.
  5. Ya I refuse excesses in food.
  6. Ya I do not kill the health with idleness, luxury, inaction, laziness.
  7. Ya quietly I perceive struggles of life, without frightening myself.
  8. Ya soft, tolerant, kind (soft, tolerant, kind) with.
  9. Ya in everything I look for the good parties.
  10. Ya I do not abuse myself.
  11. Ya I try to keep the word pledged to itself. If for any reason it is impossible, I quietly analyze a promise cause of infringement. I can softly reproach myself. But I will never be mentally rough it (is rough) with itself.

We are obliged to be responsible


for the life. We are not able to afford to neglect the interests. Once davny - long ago I wrote out the tough phrase of the psychologist Fritz Perlz:“ I live in this world not to meet your expectations. And you live in this world not to justify mine“.

we will not wait for
from other various eases, the benefits, deep understanding. Let`s themselves create such life to what we aspire. If someone to someone has also to in this world, then it ourselves - to himself.
We want to change

something in ourselves or in the life...

Each our thought influences a condition of each cell of a body. Thinking negatively, you can aggravate the illness, drive yourself into the deadlock of grief and sufferings. On the contrary, positive thoughts will strengthen and will revitalize you. Give all strength of our spirit we will direct to the best!

  1. We tried to look at ourselves from outside. The real look dictated need of changes.
  2. We determined by
  3. the purpose.
  4. We realized
  5. that disturbs us in achievement of the purpose.
  6. We chose by
  7. means for achievement of the purpose.
  8. We made the action plan.
  9. We act with
  10. . We go towards the aim, we will not reach it yet.

give adjusting phrases Below - the beliefs which are adjusting you on serious, long process of return to themselves. Write out these beliefs. Let they will be always near at hand. Read them several times a day.

my positive spirit does to

me healthy and happy.

Ya absolutely consciously I eat properly and in the volume necessary to me.

Every morning I wake up in good mood and joyfully I meet new day.

Ya with pleasure I go towards the aim.

I am surely exempted by

Ya from what does harm to my health and good mood.

Ya it is independent and free.

Ya beautiful and harmonous.

Adjusting phrases you can formulate

and. You remember only the important rule: beliefs have to be made in the present, but not in future time (we remember - “I want - I can - I do“ now, but not tomorrow). Besides, in the offer there should not be a denial, that is a particle “not“ or the words “no“. Our subconsciousness does not pay to them attention therefore the result can be opposite. For example, “I do not eat much“ - incorrectly made phrase. Correct installation: “I eat a little“.


From the book “To the mature woman possesses the world.
How to be happy in the world of men“