Italian man: mother`s darling and Casanova in one person
Tatyana Salvoni lives in the ancient town near Milan, is married to the Italian and managed to experience all parties of national character of local men and women - their mothers. How advantages of the Italian husbands turn into their shortcomings? With what mother-in-law it is easier - Russian or Italian? What shocks ours in Italy?
Two types of the Italian men
of Missile defense of the Italian men exist, probably, the most large number of stereotypes. And to them least of all claims from women. Even that who never communicated with them straight off will call attractive lines of the macho from the Apennines: passion, gallantry, taste, generosity, enthusiasm, love of children, romanticism, maskulinnost...
of Most of all Russian women such combination as a pressure along with improbable respect and frank admiration bribes in the Italian men. It is habitual to the Italian tons, and here the Russian beauties are capable to give up at once. However, the Italian man will decide that the fast victory happened only thanks to him that he perfectly played the game, but not the lady is readily available.
On the whole the country Catholic, religious, men got used to turn compound marriage dances around the women. It in every possible way shows that though now it is ready to long bed balancing act yes on all remained that you are sense of its existence that he does not know as he lived to you earlier! At the same time, yet will not receive an obvious signal it “is possible“, and a finger will not touch. He, of course, assumes that there is some percent of the fact that tonight after a dinner at you everything happens, but is real on it and does not count.
the Italian man is ready to rush with the woman, as with a crystal vase. Their courtings - such performance that only for the sake of so gripping show it is necessary to pomarinovat the guy properly. For the Italian man a preliminary series under the name “Courting“ are a running on a long distance, it is ready to it, it in it ego-trips, reveals and has in a stock a heap of house preparations for seduction of the beauty. If only the beauty did not bring and was not too available. Gifts, surprises, romantic scenes and walks, trips - he puts the whole world to your legs.
In a brain of many, very many Italian men the moment of sex are a toggle-switch which switches the relations to the mode of the family relations, and it is already absolutely other degree, less romantic and without feats. In some towns still the groom and the bride really approach only after a wedding, and for the handle of years seven go before. Also there are, of course, young people who begin to learn the first pleasures of sex in
of Italians can be divided (conditionally, of course) into two types, to be exact, two states - Casanova and the Signor. And some manage to combine both and to be signor Casanova.
of Signoras is a married man, the head of family which has a signora, he is quiet and impressive, politely smiling and cracks kind, bourgeois jokes in a circle of other signori, and looks at beautiful signorinas without any implication. All who are not married yet, it Casanova. They have such vital credo - to seem the playboy.
the Italian men never hurried to marry quickly, and today and even less so. I will dispel the myth that they immediately marry darlings. They very quickly propose marriage about marriage. Beautifully and with an invention. With a ring. But the offer does not mean at all that you get married. No, you just become official “fidantsata“, that is affianced by the groom and the bride. Moreover, as soon as there is a real question of a wedding, the man can decide that to it still early to establish the real family, and breaks off the relations. Average
statistically, men - bachelors aged till 44 years in Italy are almost twice more, than women: 9% against 5,4%. And from them nearly three from four (73,4%) were never married against 26,5% divorced and 0,1% of widowers.
of 5 pluses of the Italian husband
Italians do not complain Of the men. And for foreigners are not going to get married. Because on the whole the Italian husband - really quite often a godsend. But their shortcomings follow from their advantages and vice versa.
In - the first, the Italian is able to express feelings, it is passionate and ardent. And therefore he is incredibly jealous. Especially southern. He can just go crazy from thought that his darling somewhere there it is far, and near it other men. And his jealousy - an indicator that it is really in love.
In - the second, the Italian husband does not squander how much he in vain, saves and knows the price to money. Often happens that in the Italian family the budget separate. Since women began to work, and laws at divorce still mostly at the party of the weaker sex, at everyone the purse. And everyone is put as can. At all generosity at a courting stage in the form of the husband the Italian quite often is not just economical, and hard-fisted - money gives to the unemployed, recently given rise Russian wife very little, and cases when sends are frequent to work.
It is unconditional, it depends also on how herself will be put by the woman. There are such Slavs who, marrying wealthy Italians, lay down a condition that at first he writes down the house on her name and opens the bank account with a certain sum. To spend money for the beloved if you have them - it is expenditure of which it is only possible to dream. But if before the ordinary guy with the average income (in two - three thousand euros a month) to set impracticable conditions, he will not bargain, and will roll up a lip and will say goodbye to the ladylove what it costed it.
A still, in - the third, the most part of the Italian men is very clean. The shelf and the Italian`s case how exactly t-shirts are laid there and hang shirts, can compete with some boutique. The fact that men are capable to scatter dirty socks on corners, to throw wet towels on a floor and to leave on a desk of a crumb, a bottle from - under beer and dirty cups, the wife of the average Italian will consider as a fantasy. And they, besides, also help, do something on the house.
But besides the help Italians often exhaust the Russian wives the chistoplyuystvo. Because everything has to be ideally pure! At his mother almost operational why we have a mote on a floor, and the figurine of a design pink frog with a flower on the head costs crookedly?
However, at first Brazilians, and now and Slavs slowly inject injections of an easy creative disorder into life of signori. Well it or is bad - I do not know, but the fact that russko - the Italian houses become more similar to premises, but not to dead Hollywood scenery, it precisely.
B - the fourth, he prepares well. That`s good. But also the wife has to be the excellent cook. However, maybe, with his mother better and not to enter the competition. I tried to prove something in the beginning, then spat and began to prepare as I want. And once heard surprised from the husband: “And you prepare better than my mother! This Mexican dish magically!“ - he told. I baked vegetables in an oven as my Russian mother did, and the dish was not so Mexican, but he saw sweet pepper there...
B - the fifth, at Italians, speaking to psychology language, the raised and aggravated emotional background. The main condition of the average inhabitant of the Apennines is an allegriya, such cheerfulness and readiness for jokes at any time - to pribautochka. Even if everything is bad, there is no money, crisis, the uncle at deaths door, the car was hijacked also a stone in kidneys. The Italian will joke on all these topics. If swears, then he will swear very ridiculously. If he wants to cry with the fact that to him it is painful or he is touched, he will shed a tear.
the Back that it also easily flashes if that not so. Also quite quiet not broken through signori, but the majority - blood hot meet, rages, a door crack, waves hands, uses foul language and called. But distinctive quality of quarrels with the Italian - an otkhodchivost. Flashed, exhausted, and again hikhank - hakhank.
I as cherry on this sweet pie under the name “Italian husband“ is an ideal partner for shopping. Many men on shopping and looking at show-windows, fitting of things and other spend much more time, than women. He is lucky the wife in shopping center and the first will notice the dress which is most suitable her, patiently waits at a fitting room, will glance hundred times to release a playful compliment. And even will be to measure the tenth jeans in the next cabin.the Italian mother
“What differs in
the Italian mother from a bull terrier? The fact that the bull terrier will weaken a grasp sooner or later mother - never!“ - joke about the Italian mothers. But Italians joyfully are under a mother`s heel nearly to own pension. Also do not see in it anything shameful. According to the research Bankitalia, nearly 60% of Italians aged from 18 till 34 years continue to live with parents, and in age group till 24 years this indicator reaches 90%.
the Phenomenon of “mother`s darlings“ who are enough adults on the Apennines turned into epidemic for a long time. Even those Italians that live separately, remain under parental guardianship. In one company I somehow communicated to the attractive man, 49 years. The historian, the doctor of science, works at university. He was very surprised when he learned that in our family we get up at nine in the morning.
- Should rise in seven! - it trembled. - At us in Italy so. The freshest bread, milk and cheese bring early in the morning. My mother always so does and still gets up early because it is necessary to descend on a mass and to buy products. Though there is no father with us for a long time, and I live separately.
But he only in words lives separately. On any question the doctor calls the mother, she cleans his apartment, takes away dirty things from a linen box and brings already pure, smoothed out and displays in places. When it needs to find something in own house, he calls mother and asks supposedly and where I have macaroni. He is still not married, but in active search of the ladylove who will be similar to mother.
Not the rarity when
also other type of the Italian mothers - kind, tender and uncomplaining, kitchen slaves as if women from the near past when in the course there was a saying “Got up in the morning Is, give three kicks to the wife and consider that day was successful“. And own children in a penny do not put these. As usual, who is louder also stervozny, and respect those more.But new paints the Italian mother begins to play
when becomes the mother-in-law. It both laughter, and a sin, and the opera with the situation comedy.
the Italian mother-in-law
When the Italian marries, his mother happily looks at the daughter-in-law, politely smiles and... does not consider for the person who has a vote in general. As though in the house took a lovely doggie or a kitty. The Italian mother forgot for a long time how she once was young. And as the head of the family and the most important woman in the son`s life still considers himself. And when the daughter-in-law Russian, it is even more convenient. She can not understand that the mother-in-law speaks about it! However, it is better to pledge the word to Russian daughters-in-law. Here what impressions they share with “colleagues“:
- Especially enraged me as she about me said scurrilous things on a dialect, thinking what I do not tell in Italian, and I even sort a dialect, in Lecce it is similar to Portuguese which I perfectly understand.
- my normal, helps with everything, friendly, but there are three things which personally well very much disturb me in her adequate perception! The first: and I, and the husband two hundred times it asked not to talk to me on this disgusting bergamassky dialect. I understand nothing, it is time, and two - it terribly prevents me to study colloquial Italian. The second: well it is just impossible to listen as she tries to argue with a thoughtful air on Russia, the USSR and that worst of all, on the Siege of Leningrad! In Italy in general women somewhere after forty and indefinitely are especially ignorant. They in youth were taught as it is beautiful to place flat dishes with cups on the house and to all live to wash up bones, and books good by passed! And the third: earlier all the time had supper at his parents, now to me all these relatives bored stiff. Decided that everything, we Have enough! supper at home, together. But I do not manage to enter the apartment after work as his mother already drags something to us on a dinner supposedly the sonny poor eats nothing.
- mine constantly is engaged in arrangement of our apartment: curtains need to be changed because they with new furniture do not roll, or a cover, and that also happens that she speaks: it would be necessary to replace / wash bed linen. I and so do all this in time, but without wasting words. Mother is ahead of him me the councils and instructions by a couple of hours, and it turns out so that I do all this only after “mother told“.
If to understand, climb in all affairs is a violation of all imaginable and inconceivable personal borders of the adult already of the child at any time. And so the Italian mothers-in-law sin with it especially often. Italians are at war with mothers-in-law too, and at them everything is much more bloody. Our Russian wives reconcile or just close eyes to some things.
But plus at the Italian mothers-in-law in another: they often consider claims to them. Let not from the first, but gradually. At them it is really possible to learn a lot of things useful - to prepare, to look after things (at them and in half a century of a thing as new, this true art!) skillfully to manipulate men how she communicates with the son and the husband.
- I was so tired! - the Italian mother always keeps saying. - I washed up all apartment, washed, overdried, ironed...
As simple transfer of the fact that you made and complaint about how you were tired, your authority on eyes of the husband and children raises - you do not imagine! It is what is not enough for the Russian women who got used to make silently feats, to rescue horses and the burning log huts.
That shocks the Russian wives
We got used to think that abroad it is better and better. And in Italy especially all have to be universal well-mannered and highly cultured. Still, the country with such ancient history... And there comes the Russian girl to Italy and with surprise finds out that local signori do not know even a half of what she knew and read already at teenage age. Books in the Italian house of times - two also miscalculated. And that a half will be culinary, and the second half - religious. Here only about 30% of the population get higher education. Some of these people - the real cream of human society. Because the Italian if is engaged in something, then does it very well.
But for bulk of the population at all their lyubopytnost and desire everywhere to stick a nose profound and broad knowledge - at all not the purpose of life. They seek to understand only something one. Here it bakes bread - he understands to the smallest nuances bread baking. Does or sells wine - can tell very beautifully for hours about types of wine and winemaking. But everything that beyond the scope of its profession or interests in life, will not even listen.- you Present to
, - the husband when we went with it to an exhibition says to me somehow, - this signor tells that Raphael died because it was changed by the mistress!
- And you were aware not? - I am surprised. Also I tell it in more detail a story of Raphael`s life what hypotheses of his death and so on are. I at school wrote kogyes - that the paper on this subject.
- From where you know all this? - wildly he was surprised.Shocks with
that in the country where one of the richest cultures in the world, ignorance is built in the absolute. But it does not prevent them to consider itself nearly as the cleverest people on Earth.with
the severity of vital way Still shocks. Sit down to have dinner and supper strictly on hours, on the dot. In the north, for example, have dinner in 12, in the south in 13. Of course, each family has time, a plus-minus half an hour. But it is observed maniacally. Even if you do not want to eat, has to sit down at a table.
When I only moved to Italy, at first took all “delights“. To have supper we had to go every day to “our“ mother Fufi, she lives on the neighboring street. Roberto finished work and went to it at once. And I had to come to it from our apartment. And if I did not turn out on a threshold of her house in 19. 30, she already called on mobile. I always knew that exactly in 19. 30 phone, and a strict voice of the mother-in-law tone, peremptory will call, will ask the same question:
- As so can be that you not here?!
From the book “Italy: love, shopping and dolce vita!“