No to study! Orientation to age-mates kills inquisitiveness?
the Problem with motivation appear unexpectedly. Just the first grader worried from - for everyone a hook in a copy-book, and now he is a teenager - and does not concern him at all that set at school: why in general to do homework? The Canadian psychologist and the psychotherapist Gordon Nyyufeld and the pediatrician Gabor Mate consider that root of all evil - in excessive orientation to age-mates. Affection for significant adults - to parents and teachers is necessary for children.
Ethan studied in elementary grades well though he never especially was fond of study. He was quite capable child. From time to time it seemed that it has not enough initiative, but parents and teachers managed to convince him to fulfill their requirements of study and behavior. Teachers considered it lovely and gaining. By then, as Ethan`s parents came to me to reception, their son finished the sixth class, and it absolutely ceased to meet expectations of adults. There was a continuous fight forcing Ethan to perform homeworks. Teachers complained of his carelessness and immunity to training. The boy became talkative and conflict, and his progress did not correspond to the level of its opportunities. Its relation to study changed along with emergence of new hobby for age-mates. Within several last months Ethan switched from one peer to another, copying their manners and hobbies. When communication with one schoolmate was not got on, he desperately tried to come into contact with another.
At Mia recession in study happened a year earlier. Before transition to the fifth class she was completely absorbed by study, interested and asked many clever questions. Now she began to complain that it is boring for it to study. To the disappointment, parents learned that their daughter even did not touch some tasks, and what carried out, did not correspond to her usual level. Teachers constantly called Mia`s parents to complain of how she is inattentive that it has no desire to study, and also as what she constantly stirs with friends during occupations. Never before such claims to their child was. Mia ignored attempts of parents to talk to it about it. Parents paid attention and that the girl almost ceased to tell about teachers and if she spoke about them, then only in scornful tone. Not homework, but talk with friends by phone or on the Internet became the main thing for it at all. When parents tried to deprive of it these pleasures, she answered it with impudence unprecedented hitherto and rigidity.
of “Neobuchayemye“ pupils
Both of these cases describe the phenomenon peculiar to our modern culture: children are capable, but not seeking to study, clever, but not advanced at school, clever, but missing.
also the reverse of the medal Is: process of training became more intense, than ten or twenty years ago. Teachers confirm what became heavier to be taught, and pupils are less respectful and less susceptible now. It becomes more difficult to operate children in a class, and all of them study worse. School students read less in spite of the fact that recently many schools began to pay special attention to studying of literature. Teachers are trained better today, than ever, the curriculum is studied with all care, and the technical equipment meets all modern requirements.
So changed? Let`s return once again to a key role of attachment. Change of model of attachment of our children has extremely an adverse effect on training. Many parents and teachers still believe that for achievement of desirable results two are necessary: capable pupil and good teacher. Such opinion always was wrong, but so far process of training developed successfully, we continued to trust fondly. Until recently, teachers had influence thanks to the strong orientation to adults generated by culture and society. That time passed. The problem of today`s education cannot be solved with the help of money, changes of the curriculum or introduction of information technologies. It is much wider and it is, at the same time, simpler.
of Knowledge, was said by Goethe, it is impossible to enclose in the head as coins in a moneybox. Learning ability of each specific pupil depends on a set of factors: desires to study and understand, interest to novel, readiness to risk, to listen to foreign opinion or criticism. Also contact with the teacher, attentiveness, readiness to ask for the help, desire to achieve the objectives are necessary and to succeed, and, especially, readiness to work. Attachment is the cornerstone of all these factors and influences their emergence.
On closer examination can be understood that the child`s susceptibility to training is defined by four major factors: natural inquisitiveness, integrative thinking, ability to derive benefit from criticism and the relation with the teacher. Existence of healthy attachment strengthens each of these four qualities, and orientation to age-mates, on the contrary, has an adverse effect on them.
Boredom - epidemic among teenagers
In an ideal situation, in the course of training by the child moves natural inquisitiveness and aspiration to learn world around. To receive the answer, the child has to ask a question at first; to find truth - to be let on its searches; before to come to right conclusion - to make experiment. But inquisitiveness is not a congenital trait of character: it is result of process of formation. In other words, inquisitiveness is a consequence of development which provides viability of the child as the separate independent being ready to work irrespective of attachment.
the Children possessing energy of plainness usually take a keen interest to separate fields of knowledge and really seek to study. They take great pleasure, learning something and penetrating into an essence of things. Such children set tasks in training, try to think creatively and learn to be self-controlled. Such pupils with pleasure take the responsibility and seek to realize the potential.
For teachers who appreciate inquisitiveness are encouraged by questions and put interests of the pupil above all, it is a pleasure to work with such children. For pupils, in turn, the best teachers are those which act as mentors, feed interest and stimulate interest in study, allowing the child most to direct training process. If these children not always well get on well at school, then, most likely, because they have own idea of what they want to study, and perceive the offered curriculum as something imposed.
From the point of view of development, inquisitiveness - line useful, but not vital. Attachment - here that most important.for
Until it is released though a drop of the energy leaving on search of safe and reliable attachment, advance to new opening, it is impossible. For this reason, orientation to age-mates kills inquisitiveness. The pupils focused on age-mates are completely absorbed by attachment problems.it is not interesting to Learn
novel to them, everything that is not connected with their affection for age-mates bores. Boredom - the real epidemic among the teenagers focused on age-mates.
also one more problem connected with inquisitiveness Is: it does the child extremely vulnerable in the world of “cool“ peers. For naive amazement and hobby for a subject, for a question about volume “as it works“ and originality of ideas it can be called the clever man and make a fun. “Flight from vulnerability“ of the children focused on age-mates suppresses not only their own inquisitiveness, but also inquisitiveness of people around. Thus, orientation to age-mates threatens the phenomenon of inquisitiveness.
From the book “Do not miss the children. Why parents have to be more important, than age-mates“