Approval and condemnation - as they affect the child?What to do if you faced questions which haunt you in any way? You wonder: why my child is not self-assured? From where it has such underestimated self-assessment? Many parents blame for it society which surrounds the child, but seldom try to look for the reasons in themselves. However most often their relations with parents are the reasons of complex of children.
For children very important when parents pay attention to them and estimate what they do. Certainly, your positive assessment is necessary for children. But it, of course, does not mean that children need to be praised absolutely for everything - both for bad, and for good. However to go to far, constantly abusing the child, too is not necessary.
How not to go too far, estimating acts of the child? Let`s try to understand. whether
Will help to grow up censures of the successful person?
The more you condemn the child, the worse and not more surely he feels. Every time when the person is condemned unfairly or condemn, without paying attention to its achievements, at it the feeling begins to grow that everything that it does, - it is wrong, bad and in general it is senseless. The underestimated self-assessment and uncertainty in itself proceed from this.
Many parents are sure that, abusing and throwing caustic remarks and phrases, they will bring up serious and the man of means. However the reality shows the return: without having heard any praise from parents, in life there are diffident pessimists. To avoid it further, the child has to understand why he did wrong that he should not make such mistakes and oversights further. To explain it - a task of parents. to Remember
should Never forget about achievements of your children. There are parents who remember only about bad and at any opportunity remind of it to children. They do not even pay attention to of what they should be proud. And what then turns out? The child feels that mother and the father are not interested in his positive acts at all, and begins to do only bad, but already hiding it. From it there are also a lie and half-words, from - for whom misunderstanding and abuse proceed. You should not forget to pay attention to good and correct acts of the child.
However your praise has to be indifferent (“if only got rid“), on the contrary, it has to be intelligent and serious. Pay attention, look at what your child wants to show you - whether it be drawing, the poem, the animal who is stuck together from plasticine or homework etc. The opinion and an assessment of parents are extremely important for children. Let the child know that everything that he does is not indifferent for you.
should not be Overpraised too
Edifying the child and giving it various advice, you, undoubtedly, do it of love and desire that everything at your child everything was good and remarkable. But on the other hand, you should not too flatter and razbalovyvat the child. Why? Because the person who is not adapted for life at all not capable to step also to a step without someone`s help and support as a result will grow up. It is impossible to learn something, having never fallen in life, not having wounded, without having scalded, without having made a mistake. Not for nothing say that people study on the mistakes. the measure
As they say has to be