What to present to the child? We make wish list - the list of desires
“I want more! Still!“ - often our children communicate with us quite so. Not all desires of the child have to be granted though modern parents are sure that they are urged to grant any desire of own child, and to execute immediately.
In - the first, dear parents, desires of your children can be granted by you not at once, not in a flash, not immediately. By the way, such distance, procrastination in time of execution of desire does the desirable more valuable. The child wanted, asked, hoped and waited. Therefore, receiving the desirable, he more it will appreciate.
In - the second, to parents it is not obligatory to grant all desires of the child at all in general. Moreover, parents are simply obliged to not to execute at least some desires of the children. In life, dear adults, not always all our desires are granted.
Often adults grant desires of children that those were not upset from refusal, did not feel unfortunate. Parents in this case confuse two things: 1) to protect the child from the pain, experiences connected with safety of life; and 2) to protect the child from all possible experiences connected, for example, with non receipt of a desirable delicacy or overindulgence. Yes, without having received what he wants, the child, perhaps, will strongly worry and be upset some time.to
However experiences and sufferings of the child which are not posing threat of his life, to health and safety to are necessary to the growing personality . They temper the person.
If the child orders to you something concrete as a gift, then it is better to delay execution of desire in time. “You want the new bicycle? Well, you will receive it, but in 6 months. For now we save up money“. Or so:“ You want a new computer game? All right, you will have it, but by New year“. Than longer the child waited for the desirable, especially it will be valuable to it. If it was not the real desire, and only an instant impulse (“I want this!“), the child can during expectation about such desire forget.
Relatively recently to us the curious tradition came - to make the list of what you would like that presented to you for Christmas (such list in English is called “Christmas wish list“) and on birthday (“Birthday wish list“). The child, say, asks new game from mother. But she does not hurry to buy it. She speaks:“ Enter the name of game in “The list of Christmas desires“ or in “The list of desirable gifts to birthday“.After a while the child wanted
again, but now something another. And adults suggest it to enter the desirable in the treasured list again. This list will be formed several months. By the way, the child can quite change the mind and enter in the list instead of the deleted name something else. And it - is just remarkable. The growing person has time to think and to slowly estimate own desires.the List of the desirable parents can limit
. Let in it there will be, say, 10 points - by the number of relatives and friends whose arrival is expected for a holiday. In that case several months till a holiday thoughtfully fall the child to choose that he wants to receive as gifts. It is possible to keep in the list one - two points under the name “Surprise“. Let donators will think up what to buy.
Beginning to make the “List of desires“, it is possible to get a beautiful notebook together with the child and there to make treasured entries. Lists can be illustrated drawings. And it is possible to hang up on a wall a big leaf and on it a message “The list of desires“, accompanying each point with the pasted picture or a sticker.
the List can be corrected and even to rewrite (to remake) several times, expecting a holiday. But when the list is finally ready, it is shown to relatives and all invited to a holiday, and those solve who what will present to the child. After delivery of gifts took place, parents will suggest the child to begin to make the following “List of desires“.
In my opinion, it is tradition, very good from the point of view of pedagogics. Try to use it! Children`s desires concerning gifts demand indispensable ordering from adults. It is just impossible, it is impossible to buy and give to children everything that they will want and when they wish it. So give, dear adults, we will bring in disorder of children`s desires (that is quite natural to children!) some adult orderliness (that has to be natural to wise adults!).
From the book “How to Become the Phenomenal Parent
and to Establish the Family Of Special Function“