Letter to Father Frost: to what age and what for?
“To what age it is normal to believe in Father Frost?“ This question is asked by almost all parents. Some consider that long to support faith of the child in Father Frost - it is like to deceive. Others believe that the belief in miracles has to remain with children as long as possible. Who is right?
- I do not believe
Emergence in lives of the child of fairy tale characters, including Father Frost and the Snow Maiden, has very important psychological value. Such “immersion in the fairy tale“ helps the child to perceive the world emotionally (and it is very important for formation of children`s perception) and - is positive. Many children perfectly hear that at Father Frost the voice is similar to father`s, see that from - under fur coats house-shoes are visible, - but all the same now for them it is real Father Frost. Psychologists consider that the child to
a direct question: “And whether there is real Father Frost?“ It is difficult to give a definite answer here. There is a wish to keep secret of magic and there is no wish to deceive the child. Try to tell by a mysterious voice: “So far you believe in him while you believe in magic, it is, and for those who do not trust, it does not exist any more“. Or:“ Some children and adults consider that the real Father Frost is and lives in Velikiy Ustyug - so why and to you not to consider it present? All other Fathers Frost (in kindergarten, at school, on fir-trees) are just actors who do for us a holiday, play with children in New Year`s entertainments, drive round dances, give gifts“.the Famous psychologist Francoisa Dolto advised
in general to leave from the answer in cases when the child doubts. That is not to speak directly neither “no“, nor “yes“, and to ask counter questions:
“Your friend says that Father Frost is not? And why it is so confident in it?“
“you Doubt? And itself you as wanted?“
“You think, all people consider that there is no magic?“
If to the child is 5 years old, such “knocking down with sense“ will be very useful. F. Dolto considered that such answers promote development of creative thinking, expand perception borders.the Most part of modern children after
any more that Father Frost, exists, but all of them equally wait for gifts under a fir-tree, wait that there will be a miracle. In turn, modern parents, addressing the psychologist, say that they would like that at their child eyes for pleasure that their children were optimists, with a good adequate self-assessment, with motivation of achievement burned. Whether Father Frost can help with it?
the Pessimist grow up are not the one who is boring or rational. It is the one who would like to be happy and joyful, but it was “broken off“ as our children speak. It is, of course, a separate big subject, but here examples of some decisions of adults which conduct to disappointment.
- of to Valera`s Mother when her son shouts or is capricious, it is necessary to frighten the child by the fact that Father Frost will not come: “In vain we wrote it the letter, for such behavior it does not bring gifts“. If by miracles, magic “to speculate“ with
, then the child never will believe you any more. And all right it would be talked only of faith in Father Frost - the kid with whom behave thus, loses pleasure, sudden delight, what we call “miracle“. Mother Ivana explained
- to the son long ago that these gifts under a fir-tree - not from Father Frost. “How some uncle who never in eyes saw you could bring such beautiful and expensive gifts?“ Of course, it is mother with the father, the whole year refusing to themselves in many respects, bought the son expensive toy. However, Ivan can play it only after makes lessons. And Ivan has to thank only parents - miracles on light do not happen.
Here at once two manipulations are. The first: mother wants to receive an official message of thanks, recognition of the merits. But even if the gift really was given them by big work, the child is not guilty of it. And the second: the gift as a control device behind progress works not for long. Soon, when novelty of purchase will pass, mother will pass to intimidations:“ Ah, you are so? Then the next New year we will present nothing to you“. Here any more not till a holiday.
- Sometimes those parents who hurry to tell children the truth, in fact taking away from them the live fairy tale, just want to reduce to themselves New Year`s Eve efforts, not to spend time. Check yourself: can be, you are exhausted by “usual life“ or follow on the rational husband? But so you deprive of feelings of a holiday and yourself too.
do not wait for a miracle - behave in a queer way itself
This amusing phrase - the fine vital motto of good parents. Having a little matured, often children also join them. Ability is unexpected to please relatives, to create something surprising for younger family members - than not wonderful abilities? And they develop just from family New Year`s traditions, sense of a holiday - waiting for a miracle and ability to see miracles.Let the fairy tale remains to
with you so much how many it is necessary for children. How to reach it? There are several councils.
- Any belief in a miracle develops imagination and the imagination of the child - it should be welcomed also at an opportunity to accompany.
- If in your family long traditions that in New year Father Frost and the Snow Maiden will surely come that the child will surely receive gifts after wrote the letter developed, - at all do not tear off them. Traditions is what holds families together from generation to generation.
- Rejoice if children write letters to Father Frost, - it develops their independence and informative activity. A gift which the child ordered, he thought up, but not parents. The letter was written by him, but not you.
- the Grown-up children doubt or deny Father Frost`s existence? But it is not an occasion to refuse a holiday! Direct the young imagination: let will think up, will make or will draw something for relatives. Such gifts under a fir-tree in New year not just please parents - they return for the period of adults in the childhood. And, as a rule, any parent pronounces magic words: “Here so miracle!“ .
- Happens that the child wants such gift which you are not ready to get yet, - for example, a kitten or a puppy. Discuss in advance, before writing of the letter that the living being cannot be put under a fir-tree. And for New year by all means there will be something interesting! The animal in the house appears rather not as a gift, and as the family member. When you reach a consent concerning keeping of the pet - then buy, and the child himself will be able to choose.
How many the belief in the fairy tale has to last? Ideally - all life! If to rummage deeply in soul of each adult, then it is possible to find the boy with a slingshot or the girl with braids which all the same wait for a miracle. Let not Father Frost, but some special gifts, meetings which will change our life. A huge number of Christmas movies - the best for that the proof.
Here parents are happier than other adults. We have the miracle, the best on light - to see eyes of children, enthusiastic, mad with happiness.