The child has to nothing to you! The truth about feeling of gratitude
Somehow being present at the scheduled school concert in honor of the Teachers` Day and listening to performances of school students, I, the teacher, suddenly caught herself that what is told from a scene by children the learned phrases and by the rehearsed voices is unpleasant to me.
“In all sincerity, simple words...“ Or so: “Thank you, our favourite teachers, for your heavy, but noble work...“to
Why to me, the teacher, did not like performances of school students? Dear, strange children from a scene thanked me.
We, adults, want to receive from children an official message of thanks immediately. But whether children in the childhood and youth can be grateful to the adults caring for them and in particular the parents?
It will sound unexpectedly, but it is impossible to demand from children of gratitude. It is only possible to hope for it, it can only be expected at heart through many - many years.the Child adult in general and to the parents in particular has to nothing to
even if they really did a lot of things and do for it. For the child it is normal and natural not to feel gratitude to parents and to any other adults.have nothing
I, dear adults, this gratitude from the child to ask, demand, to shake out, beat out. And also there is nothing to hang on the child debts which he before adults did not have and are absent. In the relations “the child - the adult“ the mode “you-me, I-you“ does not work! The right, dear adults, all of you do not do for the child in his childhood only to demand from it for all this at full scale in own old age!
About aerobatics of human soul
the Feeling of gratitude is an emotion of human soul of aerobatics. The highest! Whether it is possible to demand performance of aerobatic maneuvres from the beginning pilot and furthermore from the child?Children in the childhood and youth should not
and cannot feel gratitude to the parents and other adults.
Emergence in soul of the person of feeling of gratitude to someone or something marks successful process of a growing of the human person and approach of her maturity. And biological age here at anything. Not all adult is given this process. And we demand from children!
Children in the childhood and youth accept everything that have as due. Both many adult aunts and uncles act this way. It - is normal and natural to children, on that they and children. And here for adults - no! Well, it is a subject of separate conversation. Also there is nothing, dear parents to cry for the moon, stamping legs and shouting by a terrible voice: “You have to me be grateful! Never you will wait for gratitude, any from you! whether“
Can teach to be
Of course to teach children to be grateful to us, to parents, it is possible and it is necessary. And the most effective way of training - on own example. to Teach the children be grateful only those parents who are grateful people can.
- tell to the children “Thanks More often!“ . You find for what, - and you speak. Whether the child helped you about the house whether he regretted you, tired, after work - it is not important. Thank! You thank simply and sincerely. pronounce
- aloud to the children From time to time what you are grateful to them for. You find for what, - and pronounce. As often as possible tell
- to the children, what people, whether it be relatives, friends or fellow workers, you are grateful. Explain to children all specific details why and what you are grateful to these or those people for. Constantly discuss
- with the children for what you (together with them) can be grateful to destiny, life. Pronounce aloud and discuss what you and your child have in this life. Let the child know that you have really much. Prepare
- together with children, sign and you give thanksgiving cards to different people.
- instigate the children More often to do small presents and to arrange pleasant surprises to different relatives, acquaintances and friends of the family as a token of gratitude to these people for something.
to you, dear adults, first of all to test in the life one of the highest emotions of human soul more often - feeling of gratitude. It, in - the first, will mean that you are a happy person since lucky have this feeling more often than the others. And in - the second, it will obviously increase your parental chances to grow up grateful children. I wish you, dear adults, to be just grateful people!
From the book “How to Become the Phenomenal Parent
and to Establish the Family Of Special Function“