Here Larsen - This sure, quiet woman, the successful TV reporter and mother of two children says about the childbirth, future children and men of
that she would begin to change nothing in life - that was, was - means so it is necessary.our conversation listen to
A - and from time to time interrupt - the cheerful first grader Luka and very bright Marfa of two and a half years.
- As school, the first class? Luka already got used?
- He studies in an orthodox private gymnasium, very good atmosphere, only 12 people in a class, school in the picturesque place at the monastery there. The father carries it every morning. My girlfriends who sent children to elite schools groan:“ The child is filled up with homeworks, we are in time nothing“ - and at us everything is quiet. I consider that at elementary school the atmosphere is more important. But Luka even here difficult gets used to the schedule, the mode, he and in kindergarten never slept.
- And how you chose school?
- We also did not choose - at once knew that we will give Luka there. Children of my friends study at this school too, everything very much was pleasant to me. In general, we go every week to church, we take communion, we celebrate the increasing holidays. Luka from 8 months with us defends all night services - Christmas, easter - never slept. Always celebrates, has always fun. Last year Marfushka with us went: to it it was heavier, but she stood the good fellow. In the house there are icons, children see how parents pray. It is the most part of our life.
of Photographer: Grigory Shelukhin
- And the daughter still so far at home - or you drive it on some occupations?
- Yes, it houses with the nurse, but we already started going to a garden slowly. Sleeps with us so far: more precisely, at first in a bed, then peeps and gets over in the middle of the night. Luka in 2 years shifted in a bed finally, but he till 7 years sometimes came to us to a bed. With them is quieter when they near by, it is not necessary to run at night anywhere. I do not represent at all how women moreover and nursing, postpone the child to other room - why themselves so to force? Fed in a dream - and further all sleep. All of us - proceed from real needs of the child. We have no strict rules, we have one obligation: to love children and to be to them attentive.
- But also those who claim that children can be “spoiled“ are...
- I Know, there is an opinion that children should be flogged that they “esteemed mother and the father of the“, but other quote is closer to me:“ Let children to come to Me and do not interfere with them because those there is a Kingdom of Heaven“. I consider that to flog children - a crime and manifestation of parental weakness. And I very much am proud that among my familiar there are no people who beat the children. I in the childhood was beaten. Belt. Years to 15 - then I already told “will be enough“. Of course, it were only episodes, but I remember them very brightly.
- What you did what so punished for?
- Most likely, for my language. I could never keep silent, and in this sense of respect due to parents, probably, did not show. I snapped rigidly always. In spite of the fact that I was corporally punished, for the rest I had very confidential relations with parents. I trusted mother all the expectations and secrets. At us the respect for the child as to the personality always reigned in a family: with the sister always trusted us and inspired that freedom is not chaos, it is responsibility. That if you want to take a walk to eleven, to watch TV or to descend on a visit - please - but at you all homework, a task on a muzykalka has to be made, the ware is washed up, holes are darned, collars are sewn to a school uniform, and younger sister is brought from kindergarten.
to me in 7 years hung up a key on a neck, and I served myself entirely. What you will not tell about my son. But here the daughter went to me in this question (laughs). Son still:“ Mother, feed me, mother, put on to me socks“.
- your nurse more than 7 years with you. How to find such nurse?
- I do not know, I was lucky. Now we try to find the second nurse it in the help - and already the fourth person we test. I do not trust agencies, we look for among the, on “gossip hotline“, but it is very heavy. Among applicants there were no bad people - just they do not suit us: someone does not like the schedule, someone did not get on together with us.
our nurse - such bereginya, she is our brownie. To me her girlfriend by a hand brought. The girlfriend, the wealthy woman, sheltered us in the country house for the summer when Luka was born. And one fine day she went by the beautiful big car to the city, returned and brought to me the woman:“ Here to you your nurse“.
- Some magic history!
- Yes, it is absolute. The same girlfriend Ira, by the way, sent me to give birth to Luka to the great doctor. And we gave birth to Marfa in
- it was some miracle.
before I thought that I had ideal childbirth with Luka - but all - it was childbirth in patrimonial chamber, all - to me something was pricked, inserted a dropper. And at some moment I became puzzled, zatrepykhatsya as a bug on a pin. Though not really long gave birth: Luka - 5 hours, and Marfa - six. But I had it second and third childbirth - can, somehow small duration is connected with it.
the House Childbirth Program means that there is a special chamber where you can give birth on a bed, there is a bathroom filled with water there are a rubber ball and a special chair for women in labor. You can choose how to give birth - though standing though sitting though in a bathtub though with a leg behind the head. In the twilight, in silence, around you nobody runs, nobody pricks anything. You have your midwife and periodically the doctor comes to check. And when active process, the doctor nearby already begins all the time.
- And the husband too nearby?
- Yes, Valera from the very beginning wanted. I was in principle not against, but told that we will go to courses, there all will show you, all will tell - and if after that you include a backing, I will not take offense. Because for the man this experience, to put it mildly, unusual. But Valera stayed all process with the prayer book in a corner, cut an umbilical cord - though, of course, was in some otherworldly state.it was yes, of course, sick with
, it was difficult, but I felt what the daughter does in me and as I should help it. All this thanks to the correct preparation. On courses there was a lesson “Rhoda the child`s eyes“: when you learn that the child worries, to you in general stops being itself it is a pity!
actually, you are a woman, you are for this purpose created, you came to the world to give birth. It should not be more natural than anything to you - it is how to breathe as is. Many girlfriends speak: this most awful that was with me in life, is a nightmare. It is wrong - it is the finely, this the most important that can happen to the woman.
of Photographer: Grigory Shelukhin
Of course, you is not ready to any pain, but for me was to give birth essentially without anesthesia. There is nothing heroic, this condition of that everything passed well and correctly. The woman`s body in labor works as factory of hormones for in total for anesthesia, for acceleration, for delay. We just forgot about it.I consider
Ya that each woman has to complete such courses, and then already itself decide how she will give birth. Before taking the wheel, we study rules before washing a sweater, we study a label - and before childbirth we know nothing about process! In the majority women are inexcusably careless. Also are intimidated.
- you Want children still? The third, fourth?
- I want to give birth, feed, I am not afraid of any extensions. The fourth, probably, I will not be in time, to me all - 38 years, and the third very much I want. I will be happy.
“If your problems with the child, then it is your problems“
- If to compare to the past what new dangers trap our children?
- Now the most terrible as it seems to me, this information field. Last year we went to Finland by train - there was a full car of children - from 3 to 12 years. And dead silence: all sit with the gadgets. It is terrible. We had to take away devices: “Go, play!“ .
Still I would dream that children had that feeling of safety of the world which I had. But now it is impossible to let out the child with a key on a neck - neither in 7, nor in 12, nor in 14 years. We had neither acts of terrorism, nor pedophiles, nor financial crises. I, for example, was afraid of the dark. Yes, still we were afraid of nuclear war - but this enemy was some external, somewhere is far.Me it seems to
that in society now in general there are more perversions. Very many things which in my childhood were inconceivable even to discussion: not that with children - in the company, it was considered as indecent. And all this is shown on the TV, this sincere striptease. But not to speak to me about it - itself I work at television.
- Well, now nobody will throw a stone into you: you have programs for adults, transfer on the orthodox channel. And here when you were MTV star...
- Yes, married gays in the Kiss Through program. There was such release for which I had to repent then. But in general it is not a shame to me with MTV, I do not consider that it corrupted the modern young man - he was corrupted by inability of parents and school to be near it at the right time. And unwillingness to teach the child to filter the imposed information.
- And if there is no time to filter - all at work, all are busy?- It is necessary to
that yet you are absent, with children there was a reliable person. For example, our father remains to a thicket with children, than I. Still wonderful grandmothers and grandfathers, but they it is, however, far. For example, the grandfather is a colonel in resignation - in Saratov. Here a question not in quantity, and in quality. Sometimes there is enough one phrase:“ In our family all men acted this way. From time immemorial“ - and everything, and at the person is some reference point. Personal example besides. > For me it is important to p to be on friendly terms and trust
. For me the trust is the most important, it is a basis of my life, is on what I build in general the relations with all and with everything. Whether it be confessor, husband, housemaid or colleague. Trust and belief.
- But also? How to keep such trust to life?
- Of course, was. But there were also other people, other cases - and it was more of them. It is not naivety, I realize the events, but I try to behave so that it was possible to rely on me. Also I hope in reply that I can rely on those who nearby.
- And if there are problems with the child?
- In general I am deeply convinced that if your problems with the child, then it is your problems. Means, you do not do something, do not feel something, and the child should turn on the fire alarm system.
Ya I communicate with doctors, psychologists much and I know that we often are not able to communicate with our children: we do not hear them, we do not see. We do not allow children to breathe, we do not allow them to sleep, walk, fool about enough - all of us something demand time from them. And therefore them fears, neurosises, stutter which are difficult for curing. I was lucky: my children send such signals that if you do not notice them, you will have a neurosis.
- But in something can envy modern children?
- they have certain advantages: they travel, they have an opportunity to master surprising skills and knowledge, foreign languages, the computer. They in much bigger degree can self-express and show the personality. Yes they it is simple more cleverly! And reaktivny, quicker. Perhaps it is not really good that they not such naive as there were we, but just the world accelerated. I very much love modern children, with them it is interesting to me.
- And you often communicate with children, doing charity work. You work with fund Daunsayd Ap who supports children with a Down syndrome.
- For Daunsayd Ap I conducted auction: just arrived and held event. Also left. First there was a certain feeling of rejection when I saw all this: it was terrible. Physically disabled people are pain of our society because we know nothing and we want to know nothing.
But then I got on their action at times, then still - and somehow all this became very important for me. Now, I think, Evelina Bledans`s history changes a situation around children with a Down syndrome - it has such wonderful husband, they are such good fellows, build the present fairy tale around the family.
- And in December you participate in the charitable Semper “From Heart to Heart“ program.
- Yes, at the end of December we with Semper will go to the Tver region - in specialized children`s home “Teremok“. Let`s bring gifts - baby food which the Russian parents buying Semper mashed potatoes to the kids will help to collect.
- Why similar acts are so important?
- to Each child the love and care of relatives is important. But to kids, so early left without parents, our support is necessary doubly. Who will help them if not all of us?
“The man is a semi-finished product, it should be prepared anyway“
Tatyana got acquainted With the husband at work: Valery Koloskov with the band arrived from Saratov to participate in the Success Secret program. According to Tutta, the first what she thought of:“ Someone will get what beautiful boy“.
- In conferences on 7e women complain that around - the continuous infantila not ready to take the responsibility? Where real men?
- In Saratov (laughs). In general, the moment of a meeting with the real man for me is connected with the spiritual growth and readiness to divide the life with other person. We think out to ourselves some images, we look for the embodiment of these templates, and “the rupture of a template“ goes nearby - only you do not know about it.
If you want the real and big feeling, then for this purpose it is necessary to work. It meant to me to wait, be in an ascesis. I for 2 and a half had no appointment, I even in restaurant with anybody did not descend to have supper. I understood that if I want the real relations, I want a family, then I have only one shot. I have no time, there is no opportunity to flirt, experiment.asked
Ya:“ My God, send that it is useful for me and not that I want“.
of Photographer: Grigory Shelukhin
- And in family life you such wise?
- Should understand that the man - too the person, with the shortcomings, he has too the right to be whimsical, tired. It is a big problem: why women are not put in the relations with men? Because want, as at cinema: the prince on a white horse arrived, washed the dishes, gave birth to children - grew up, did not tell the word of the bad word, does not smell, does not snore. But so does not happen! This is not the man, this is Ken. The man is a semi-finished product, it should be prepared anyway.
our father does not suffer any oppressions, increase of a voice and annoying requests. It seems to me, sometimes at the husband in the head the trombone, as at Barney in series “As I Met Your Mother“, on the phrase joins: “Darling should be made...“ . I know: Valera will make everything - but as it is convenient to it and when it is convenient to it. But, when I without car, it can jump out without breakfast on the street and to bring me to work: “I do not want that you went to a taxi“.to
I was taught how to be a journalist as it is good to say in Russian as to serve itself how to survive in the big city to what music to listen and what to read. But how to be a hostess, mother and the wife - somehow this knowledge passed by me. Mother and the grandmother - beautiful, bright women, wonderfully prepare, excellent hostesses. But they were not successful in marriage. Perhaps, therefore I did not want either a family, or children - at all did not understand years to 25 why it is necessary. My husband in this sense absolutely another - old-fashioned and atypical. Someone needs the most expensive car, the most large number of women, and it has a spirit - a family. When it has children as it should be and the wife joyful - for it this “I am a man, watch everything!“ . In total from education. And the trust subject - it works.
- And as the thrown wives moreover and with children - they trusted too...
- I know from own experience: one guilty is not in such stories. Two participate in any situation. I see that the man - a being lazy, especially married. That he somehow began to move, complicated to himself life so that to bring someone on the party, it it is necessary to try strongly. Or it something hormonal that seldom occurs at the Russian man, or should be pushed, given somehow strongly him acceleration.
- And the last question - philosophical: if to be transferred on 20 years ago that you told yourself of that time?
- “The girl, so to hold! You do everything correctly“. Yes, only this way. I against a time machine. I for “Butterfly Effect“ - everything occur as it has to occur and in any way differently. And everything that in my life was - both bad, and good is an experience which I will not exchange for anything.