You, for certain, know about purity of Edutes ex abrupto, dear reader that all of us in life play parts. Life, as we know, theater, and all of us in it actors. In a family, at work, with friends - companions, many of us someone represent houses, pretend to be someone. One get on on themselves the leader`s mask, mentor tone teach whom it is necessary and it is not necessary as how to do. Others wriggle with the clever men knowing everything about everything every time putting in others talk to express the authoritative opinion. The others represent from themselves fatal beauties, funnymen - the self-educated persons, rich, poor, happy, unhappy, healthy, sick, depending on the one to whom that it is more to liking. Thus, we often simply express the aspiration to be the representative of this or that category, but not accessory - not Bol, flatly refusing to ourselves to be oneself.
The economist of our department, we will call her Natalya Ivanovna, imagines himself the awful neatnik. Every time when it has free five minutes, it with noise and din, in every possible way drawing attention of the others to this laudable line of its nature, begins to rub, sweep, wash somewhere something, at the same time it is in every possible way loudspoken ponosya the cleaner which so badly there swept something or washed up, not really clean colleagues, friends, acquaintances.
She starts moving chairs, to open and close window leaves because in an office stuffy or, on the contrary, cold, to stir ancient documents from which a half goes to junk, to rummage on cases and bedside tables, rejoicing as the child every time when it manages to find dust in a far corner, a pack of the turned yellow newspapers on the top or someone the forgotten dirty cup - to prove itself and others a nenaprasnost of the noisy works.
He agrees, cleanliness and purity - qualities, praiseworthy. But, I am also convinced that any virtue, unlike defect, has to be silent and imperceptible and, especially, not give a pharisaicalness musty smell as it quite often happens. You remember the gold words “Well Well-mannered Person not The one Who, Having Noticed at a Table that You Dipped Cuffs in Sauce, Will Not Fail to You and Sitting at a Table to Report It about It, and The one Who, Having Seen It, Will Pretend that He Noticed Nothing“.
So occurred also in my case. The economist Natalya Ivanovna feeding for me a certain easy latent hostility - I had the nerve several times in relation to it “not to be a gentleman“ in any there nonsense - carped at a pack of the fulfilled paper, having declared for all that I do not delete steplerny paper clips, and I put paper together with them. I, by the way, without being distracted from the works, answered that I never put paper to that place about which there is a speech. But Natalya Ivanovna knew better.
I did not want to argue. Especially from - for such nonsense. But not it. From a paper pack it switched to my table. It obviously did not like my artistic mess in the form of packs of documents, pencils and handles, locking gates and spherical cranes with which I worked.
In me hatred quietly began to wake up. Hatred to this hlopotunstvo, that the person sticks the nose not in the affairs and it does not understand. Such unter Prishibeyev in a skirt, the observer of purity and an order.
- Natalya Ivanovna, is my table, but not yours if you did not notice - I began as it is possible more friendly. I do not do you remarks concerning your table, your cases and other. Why you grant to yourself such right?
- Well, still, you began to do me remarks. At me everything is faultless, and on a table I tidy up every time before leaving home.
Really, it behind it was found. On its table there was always an order not that on my
. But business was not in purity, and in sensitivity and good breeding, is more right in their absence.
The person of it did not understand. As did not understand and many other, greedy studying receipts on a salary of the colleagues, aloud comparing a personal and others` salary. Did not understand when told off somebody for carelessness and laziness while their own affairs waited for the best times on their long boxes.
Day through three, still remembering our skirmish, I had an opportunity to glance in a bedside table Natalya Ivanovny whom the last in a hurry left open. Napkins, lipstick, the bitten candies, female hair, scraps of some papers, various butylk and flakonchik and there is a lot of other miscellanea which I had no time to study, rolled there alternately. I would not be surprised at all if among all this chaos I saw the moving Prussian`s moustaches.
It is sure that declare I publicly what saw, having accused Natalya Ivanovna of a bigger carelessness, than mine, bad manners and indelicacy, I thereby would not fight off it at all desire to play that role which it with such pleasure assumed. Such people, at all huge number of virtues, nevertheless have one shortcoming - a poor eyesight. They in an emphasis do not see the defects.
I am surprised to passionate desire of many to live “loudly“, starting up around myself waves of employment, self-confidence, own importance. About such tell “he(she) the bright person“, noticeable, in the center of attention.
There is our director, Ivan Ivanovich. Goes widely, widely, in the middle of a corridor, each step as if ego-tripping, showing very clearly who here the owner. A stomach forward, the frown, gestures are sharp. Voice same, “bossy“, peremptory. Maybe the fool to call, maybe the good fellow. And what to it? He is an owner, not you here.
Hours can talk, speak in a deep voice about close far matters. And all “I, I, I“. “Last week to Italy went“, “my friend is a governor“, “bought new “Mercedes“ …
On a wall, under a portrait of the president and his photos, diplomas, awards are slightly higher than Lenin and Dzerzhinsky`s bronze byustik. Here it diving with an aqualung in the Yellow Sea. And here embracing the president. And the award is called “For merits in mechanical engineering“. And it … You feel the IMPORTANCE?! SIZE! POWER!
And it is his deputy. Tries to resemble in everything the boss. Will come - will run, will take an interest in everything, will prick everyone, will hook, cutting circles around tables as if it has ants in the pants. And all this with a type of self-confidence, “I am an owner here“. Will run about, will run about, will make a noise, will make a noise, leaving behind traces of the presence, visual impressions, sounds, smells as it is done by a dog near each tree in her territory, and - for a door. And what rustled? What fussed? What excited all? “Loudly“ there lives a person. Outstanding personality. Center of the universe.
And it, our economist, Natalya Nikolaevna. “Gekayet“ also “shokat“, confuses cases as the speech does not keep up with flight of thought, but with the major look all argues on all also. And if it is dissatisfied, then you learn about it on other end of a corridor - shout costs, as on a market on Sunday.
And none of these characters shine with either intelligence, or talents, or appearance that though somehow to justify their self-importance. At least, it would be clear, pardonable.
Almost all such also very much hurry to live. Not to miss any party. To visit all festivals, birthdays, sabantuychik, sports contests. Even due to own health, is known anywhere do not drink very much, as at sports competitions.
All of them hurry to leave marks of the stay, anywhere: participate in any foolish competitions, say loud and insincere toasts, like to dance, and always in the center. They talk loudly, distribute to the right and on the left the subjective opinions which give out for truth, shock at full speed.
Monday through Friday I and Olga Mikhaelovna were at an exhibition in other city. Were tired. From communication, from distances, from bad food. Or rather, I was tired. But not Olga Mikhaelovna. Having returned for work on Friday to a lunch, at three o`clock after midday it already rushes together with all on the so-called Olympic Games (it will be drunk, more than ever) though all these days she, without ceasing, complained of what it caught a draft and it cannot turn a neck that it has a cold that she was tired on the way. In three hours all illnesses it vanished as if by magic, all fatigue somewhere wonderfully got to.
Behind a window pours a rain - means, “sports activity“ is cancelled. It is necessary to eat and drink, “again listening to this buffoon“ - our director, by her own words.
So why to go? Why itself to force? This is not clear to me “thirst of life“. I very much adjust the rest rabdnya to stay in the distance from all, to one. At last, to stay with itself, to have a rest though a little from this empty vanity, from people who radiate so much energy … as a rule, empty.