Belarusian miniatures. I am the chief ofAlready two months I the new head of department of sale of our nice enterprise. For these two months I manage to wear out new pair of &ndash shoes; in a day along corridors, shops and offices I should reel up not one ten kilometers, and by the evening I literally am ready to drop from fatigue.
For this short time I also manage to bring finally out of composure of the immediate superior - earlier usually he broke our office nirvana, and now itself literally groans when once again for the last half an hour sees me on a threshold of the office with crumpled pieces of paper an armpit and a pencil behind an ear.
And also, despite the desperate attempts to understand the elementary for some as a paramecium caudatum, an organizing chain “shop - sale - the consumer“, thanks to the man-made Brownian motion reigning in each link of this chain I finally and irrevocably leave belief in sensible human mind and I begin to think again seriously over that, but whether not to go to me to the monastery.
I in despair. Hardly I manage to get used to a present state of affairs and things, with a martyr grimace on a face to digest and comprehend, so to speak, the current arithmetics of shop, a warehouse and sale as some commercial director, the foreman or some Mar Ivanna from sales department will modify - will muddle in geometrical or still what progression all me with such work understood, counted and accurately written out on fields of the page of the notebook, having added some new client code-named “Sasha“ or “Gene“ with its five - ten thousand of that or it, or will call without my permission to the chief of one of shops to add or take away one or others as all my problems solved with such infernal work cease at all meets with answers.
Reluctantly and playing tumors, I undertake the analysis again arisen the status - kvo, I add and I will read hated me from the third class of comprehensive school these three - four - and five-digit monsters, being burned with shame for own illiteracy run up for the help to one, then to another, between times rush in shop to learn that handed over and that will be handed over still, then on a warehouse to learn whom they shipped and whom will ship still, then to accounts department to get rid or, it is rather on the contrary, to hapnut still some very important pieces of paper, and on the road back to our shop to see as there is on sale, or is not on sale more likely, our new production - all any fifteen minutes, - eventually to learn that all my distressful formulas which are squeezeed out in the arithmetic way already hopelessly became outdated.
In two months I lost five kilograms, again began to smoke and lost faith in the person, as in homo sapiens. I was also convinced that, despite all my attempts to adapt and adapt to this chaotic manner of work, I obviously do not have neither mind, nor education. Or rather, I am not able to think in that habitual key in which my colleagues think. So far I put two thousand three hundred forty four pieces of the crane of conical fifteenth diameter for LLC XXX from twelve thousand three hundred five ten nine same cranes for JSC MMM and four hundred seven ten two cranes for CJSC GGG to receive fifteen thousand two hundred seventy five, my immediate superior already put two four hundred, twelve four hundred and five hundred from which he already promised in private conversation “Sachet“ three thousand nobody, and two thousand nobody “Gene“ to receive ten thousand three hundred. For the equal account ten five hundred. So, at me fifteen thousand two hundred seventy five, and at it ten five hundred. A divergence - five thousand. Whether there is not a bit too much? there is no
, I will obviously come off mind because to carry out all this legion of affairs and instructions, sypyashchikhsya on me as from a worthless horn of plenty, from all who feel like it, I simply am not able. The director takes me for the aide-de-camp and, besides “the vigilant management of department“, nearly an every day hangs on me the two - the three of quickly said and so difficult feasible missions, it seems “to study sales markets of Central Asia“ or “to look on the Internet for some cheap machine for production of a siluminovy cover spherical the crane of small diameters“. No, I am obviously perspective worker, but nevertheless not the descendant of Julius Caesar, and I have not ten hands, as at the Indian god Vishnu.
The deputy director for a commercial part is for some reason sure that I should not get out of shop and calculate the same arithmetics, as he, only on an own harmony.
My dear colleagues is honourable handed me rather big small group of any there “paper“ tasks which by tradition were always expedited by the coming and so quickly leaving heads of department. And therefore already the second month they, running up on houses, wish me not to miss alone with any there statements for payment of indirect taxes, currency statistics on the CIS and Europe and data export growth.
Also two weeks later after my mourning inauguration as the chief of sale, I incidentally found out that to me not only a kind gesture was transferred by duties of the head of department of sale, but also slowly kept for me my old duties of the marketing specialist. And now I as the tortured squirrel in a ragged wheel as the notorious servant Figaro, has to be broken off successfully between sale and marketing, the director and the deputy director, the deputy director and sales department, sales department and … However, I distracted.
I to all this, despite my worn-out boots and my efforts, my administration is dissatisfied with me. Interestingly, and it in general sometime happens enough? Probably, unless that.
Here and on Monday our terrible Jupiter summoned me as it became clear to lecture. In spite of the fact that for the last two months we sold to production almost twice more, than in the last quarter, and our affairs go not that it is excellent, but nevertheless go, our Thunderer did not regret to spend half an hour for negoduyushche to sprinkle a little saliva in my reddened physiognomy. My main omission as I understood from its angry tirade, was that I seldom am before its light eyes with reports on that as well as that.
My heart fell. Two months later I already partly understood all this theater of absurdity which was played every day at me in the eyes.
Deputies hurry every morning with reports of that “what their employer wants to hear“, in every possible way assent and squat in deep reverantny kniksena, trying to please and, thereby, to strengthen the precarious position at least per day.
The head of labor union - eternal management sang along, concordant always and in everything with the boss, earlier, than the director will manage to convince himself or to justify in something. Chiefs of shops and departments hide
or underestimate the problems and exaggerate the merits, in thrill of anticipation who will be “a goat for today“ - not I?
Every day, each hour in the brain of our Chinese mandarinchik inflamed from a heat and inaction are invented and thought out for the subordinates tortures are improbable - from global “to pass to cardinally new, more profitable forms of production“ and “to construct new warehouse“ - to magnificent as from a bad dream, “to each department by own efforts to construct the Alpine hill - to improve the territory“, “to participate in educational, for the purpose of professional development, a marathon for two weeks“ or “all after work to participate in a city sports contest and to win first place“.
At the same time our leader continues not to get out from foreign business trips at the expense of the enterprise, having visited, flights and obplavav in the last two years a half of a terrestrial ball, and in breaks between the tours terribly sits in the seventh heaven, shpyny and kicks edifying the careless subordinates who are not got out from the smelly shops, of dusty cellars and standing bogs under loud nazvanyeets “offices“, from time to time, having brought together all to a heap in the spacious office, entertains them cock-and-bull stories about the adventures on dangerous slums of Caracas, on gondola channels of Venice or already almost native sand of Egypt.
Yesterday I was called in our Ivan the Terrible`s chambers again. Having listed all my obvious and imaginary sins, to me declared that in my services as head of department of sale, do not need any more. Tone, peremptory, me specified all my shortcomings, defects of character, gaps of education. Well, not I the first, not I am the last. Loss is small.
One consolation - at last that I will leave home together with all again, but not at two o`clock later as I did it in the last two months, sitting up at work late.
Other consolation - I will learn again quietly and to sleep properly under a warm blanket, but not to fail every evening, having hardly swallowed a dinner, across a bed, having curled up, in the heavy drowsiness full of nightmares that I did not manage to give currency statistics in time, to warn the master in the fifteenth and twenty fifth valves that by tomorrow we blood from a nose need two thousand and that and other valve or that I did not close a door of office and now in it thieves manage, taking out all orgtekhnka.
Third - I will save on footwear and on this money I will buy something to the daughter.
Well and the fourth that, possible it is more important than the first three consolations, is the gained experience. And not so much production, how many vital. I understand people better now, and I can define quickly enough “who is hu“.
So, I am dismissed. Hasty. Categorically. Disgracefully. However, I expected it, and even wished. So to what to shed tears? I also do not pour. About ten years ago, I surely would give myself time to suffer and enjoy the sweet martyrdom. I would be closed in the room and would give vent to the feelings. Would lose belief in mankind. Forever … Day so on three. But not now. Now to me not to these trifles. I know long ago that a half of the world, the brightest, that on a look, it is geeks, fools and baby`s dummies in a beautiful cover, and I am not going to mourn them. Start up crying wipe tears crying.
Our office turned into “a kingdom of sheptun“. All are barefaced whispered behind my back. It is them bonton. Not openly, in eyes, and behind the back. They feel terribly sorry for me who fell into disgrace and at the same time it is terribly interesting. It is their buffoonery.
On everyone again entered they snatch as jackals on production, drag to themselves in a far corner and begin to whisper, whisper, whisper.
When on a threshold ten minutes nobody new appears, they, shivering all over as patients in fever, do not maintain this torture by silence, with despair rush for a door and run towards labor union, a reception, a human resources department.
There they unburden the heart: sympathize, put forward the versions of the events, speculate. They without it cannot in any way. In eyes they tell you one, for eyes another, think the third. However, on them I spit too. I am familiar for a long time with this tribe of pygmies, the tribe of hypocrites and liars.
For night of an event gain steam, and early in the morning, having hardly appeared in gray walls of the native enterprise, I with running start run into the son and the director`s daughter. The daughter, Lena, matter of course, works long ago at daddy`s plant. Well, and synulya what here lost?
I, apparently, begin to guess. Hardly our furies, sekretushechka and ekonomistochka, manage to appear on the workplaces as right there begin to whisper the friend the friend amicably something on an ear. They obviously know more than mine. As always.
In half an hour to us rushes deputy directors and declares what the new head of department of sale will be … Yes, I was right in the presentiment - the management sonny, the young man without experience on similar production and … However, what to me put? The son is not responsible for the father. Or, nevertheless, apple from an apple-tree.?
Me nevertheless the worm - whether disappointment, whether despair, whether still gnaws what. No, I do not grudge eighty c.u. lost from the salary - the sum is so scanty what to be upset from - for it would be merkantilstvo top. I almost do not grieve that did not equal high hopes of the high administration - hopes were so high that nothing except irritation or a Homeric laughter to cause and could not. I do not grudge the ruined career of the production official. This role seemed to me disgusting.
what I am sorry for is all that den of the human relations which I had misfortune to observe. All sins and defects. I think, it appear on my place Dickens or Gogol, and they would not manage to describe, at all power of their language, the happening human comedy and the tragedy at the same time.
The reader can be indignant - and you that the righteous person, perhaps, that it is so intolerant of weaknesses of others? That not the great sinner subject to the same defects and passions? Where your love for the neighbor to yours? Or at least understanding? Neojudgment?
What I will answer? What will I tell? And I will tell - the devil only knows! Only in me there are more understanding and neojudgment to the drunkard, the prostitute, the coward, especially, if they are ashamed of the weakness and try to do with it something, than to the barefaced gossip justifying the defect, to the vainglorious arrogant man, the believer that it grasped by a beard of the Lord, and an easy hand disposing of destinies of others, to the educated hypocrite and the liar knowing that he creates and that would not follow and, nevertheless, with pleasure and success having the cunning in the purposes.
Morning of the next day to us the director runs. It plans has an ocean! He is ready to throw out all our furniture and to buy us new (most likely that to us it was conveniently worked), to buy us a two-three of the heaped most up computers, and even promises new, more spacious room! This is that person who did not wish to be spent for anything for one hundred advertizing leaflets worth two hundred dollars! I do not trust the ears and eyes!
Listen, all of us are people, all of us the person, so to speak and nothing human is alien to us. All of us love the children and we wish well to them only. All of us or our acquaintances once used protection. But it is impossible so barefaced! So unscrupulously! So impudently! Be afraid of God, at last!
That is on the one hand in the country fight against corruption, bribery, protection goes in accelerated tempo. From all corners to us shout of it. And on the other hand the director of the enterprise ousts the worker who was not pleasant to it, the person with a certain experience, knowledge and qualification, and on its place installs the offspring, without idea about production. Moreover does it so barefaced, most likely, confident in the correctness that many subordinates watching its equivoques, begin to believe sacredly that and it is necessary, as they “have not the creatures shivering and the right“.
I am more and more convinced that knowledge experience, talent - at all not defining factor in receiving positions, recognitions, success. Because unpleasant, for any of several reasons, you the worker can always underestimate, attribute a merit to someone to another, not to notice at all. The defining size - you. And, on the contrary, the real trifle which is not deserving a mention, nonsense, a trifle it is possible to inflate to the improbable sizes, it is simple if to speak, speak, speak about it.
It is remembered, in due time I in this way treated to myself teeth in policlinic where my mother worked. Came. Modestly sat out turn. Were quit with me in five minutes. And already later, when I came to the same policlinic again and faced both the mother and “the“ dentist, the stomatologist took an interest: “It is your son? What you did not tell me earlier!“ “I in a different way would treat it“ - I added from myself.