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How to get acquainted with the man: 5 traps for singles of

to be a lonely man - means to be free, independent, attractive to women. Freedom and independence of the lonely woman often go near feeling of lostness, aspiration to find the love, the second half. The loneliness becomes the invisible enemy against whom so there is a wish to win.

Why does that happen: on the one hand, the woman looks for the serious relations, and with another - having been tired of continuous search, and there is one? To what traps it gets what there cannot be easily and freely the status a single? I suggest to understand these difficult questions.



the Trap the first - the overestimated expectations


“To me needs only the prince on a white horse“

Wants that was near both clever, and attentive, and careful, and romantic, and economic at the same time. These are some points, and for their Man Mechta maybe more than 100. There is a strong wish that the fairy tale became a reality that lovers lived long and happily etc.

it would Seem to

in what here a dirty trick? Unless somebody to want to live with the indifferent, silly, avaricious man and also the idler in addition? Of course, no. Just getting to a trap of the overestimated expectations, we mix illusions and reality. Most often it is shown that from the same person the woman waits for qualities mutually exclusive or improper each other. Simple example: seldom what man can be at the same time and the exemplary family man, the responsible, economic, and romantic hero. Anyway something in the man will be more: or he will sing serenades under a window, to prepare a bathtub with petals of roses, but to sit without work and not to know how to change the socket. Or you will feel absolutely safe, without thinking of life and economy, but your man will express love the affairs - earning money, the help with the house, and any romantic surprises and armfuls of flowers without cause for it will be waste of money and nonsense.

Therefore not to look for all life of the prince, it is necessary to understand: that it is the most important and what you are ready to close eyes to. What from all list of requirements is vital? It is desirable that there were no more than five these points.

the Trap the second - high self-esteem

“I am worthy

only the best man. The man has to correspond to me“

the Second position is close to the first, but in this case the woman extols own advantages to such an extent that men just are afraid to approach such “both the beauty, and the clear head“. Now everywhere repeat that it is necessary to believe in himself, to fall in love with itself such what is - and then admirers will appear.

In this case the love to itself is carried to

to a certain absurdity: the woman is as much as possible realized in a profession, visits trainings and courses, at the same time uses the mass of the efforts for maintenance of physical appeal. It it becomes valid the girl from a cover - to carp there is nothing. But also there is no wish to be near somehow... The man needs or to be on a horse all the time, proving the compliance to faultless shape of the companion, or at once to admit that it is not ideal: it is not so ambitious, earns less and keeps a figure not so carefully.

the Trap the third - fear of loneliness

“I so am afraid to remain one, and therefore I cling to any man“

women for whom existence of the relations is more important than their quality get To this trap. That case when the desire is caused to marry fear of own loneliness. Most often such behavior is connected with the fact that the childhood of such women passed under the strengthened control from parents who sought to be near the daughter all the time, wishing to support, warn, save from mistakes. And in practice, when this girl grew up, she faced what elementary does not know what wants, does not trust own opinion - her much easier and safer to be conducted, than most to show an initiative in the relations. This trap is most dangerous that women, being alarmed concerning own loneliness, the fact that they cannot independently make decisions, sometimes choose the relations in which it is more sufferings, than love. If the woman lives by the principle “as you will tell, darling“, “I for the sake of you am ready for everything“, it is very easy for man to operate her, to exercise the power.


the Trap the fourth - emphasized independence


“Me nobody is necessary to

, or I am a cat who walks in itself“

This female position is very widespread now - women in many spheres surpassed men, feeling with them if not as equals, then is even slightly higher. In such behavior model the woman shows own independence, showing to people around as to it well one how cool to belong only to itself, to do that you want before anybody not to report, freely to communicate with girlfriends, to spend money - the whole bouquet of pleasures!

the Need for freedom and independence is really very important

for any person, irrespective of his floor. In this case, she takes the leading position, masking mistrust to an opposite sex, fear of close relations and at the same time desperate desire to become the weak woman, to allow the man to provide the reliable back.

the Trap the fifth - a children`s position in the relations with the man

“You - bad! I took offense!“ (The woman or is capricious, demanding that was just as she wants, or “inflates sponges“)

of the Major component of the long relations is ability to communicate, agree, hear and listen to each other. Often so happens that, it seems, the woman is sure of herself, it is ready to the relations, marriage, and as a result it turns out that she does not hear the partner, misunderstands his words and acts, modifying after the own fashion - that is in the relations with the man the woman behaves as the little girl who is fondly clapping eyes. Any offenses, whims, manipulations, ultimatums and other female tricks belong exactly here.

the Loneliness is perceived by

as the enemy with whom it is necessary to struggle as own shortcoming of which it is necessary to get rid as soon as possible as a problem which should be solved.“ If I one, so I am necessary to nobody “, “ I will never marry “, “ I will have no family “, “ I am unhappy“ - here only some thoughts which pursue the lonely woman. And men feel it. To be exact - the fact that excessive responsibility is conferred on them. Of course, it is pleasant to them to hear the words “to me with you it is very good“, “I love you“, “I want to be with you“. On the other hand - excessive demonstration by the woman of how to it it is bad without darling, often signals about emotional dependence, about inability of the woman to be adult near the man.

How to avoid traps?

the Lonely woman at the same time both wants

, and is afraid of strong attachment. This contradiction sometimes frightens off men who look for the long relations. What to do to the woman?

First of all own attitude towards loneliness is important to change
  1. . Until you fight against it, it will be an enemy. Think why for what in your life there was this pause? Perhaps, right now you need more to learn, realize some forgotten dreams and interests?
  2. Find
  3. bonuses which you receive from the status of the lonely woman. Try to answer a question: what do you afford now what you could not allow if lived with the man? It can be daily trifles (“I spend less time for cooking and cleaning“, “I come home when I want“, “I communicate with girlfriends more“), but they can be very important.
  4. Reconsider the expectations concerning men. It is optional to estimate each passer as the candidate for a role of the elect. Treat surrounding men properly, as it is banal sounds, men are people, with the problems, achievements, pleasures in life too.
  5. Risk
  6. ! Begin to get acquainted, flirt, taking a keen interest to other person - instead of scanning whether there corresponds this man to your 150 points. Learn to maintain the relations with men just like that, and not just with prospect of creation of a family!
  7. Begin to derive pleasure from the freedom and independence! If now you learn to live easily and surely in the territory, to you it will be much easier to respect personal space of the darling, and man very much appreciate.

to Women it is more habitual to li to perceive loneliness as weakness, personal failure and to wait that with the advent of the Man Mechta their life will cardinally change, will play bright paints. And what if these paints are already now? If loneliness - just that time of accumulation of forces, that pause which will allow to reveal your feminity, your ability to give and receive love. Try to trust in your freedom, and then the meeting with itself imperceptibly will help you to meet the man. Not ideal, but real - and your, close and native.