Rus Articles Journal

Fear to be left without money of

the People who experienced in the past serious monetary deficiency or problems in the material sphere can live further, adhering to the former scenario as though their purse is a source of problems, but not pleasures. The fear of need registers in memory so strongly that it is shown in a way of life of the woman over time. On this subject the psychologist Aneta Orlova argues.

“Rich which becomes to the poor 40 more years behave as rich. Poor which was to the poor 40 more years after grows rich, behave as poor“. This east wisdom in many respects explains the nature of this fear.

It is considered p that at decrease in earnings the woman puts on weight, most likely in hips and a waist as though being protected from own fear. In general the strong fear to be left with nothing is expressed at all differently.

One of possible manifestations is an extreme workaholism. It, by the way, is recognized as one of forms of good-quality aggression, that is such reaction is inherent in active, cheerful and purposeful women. The women who felt material need for the childhood in adulthood begin to work much. Earnings at them are put in the forefront. And the main motive of their continuous employment - not to allow repetition of a situation with material hunger. Such women begin to control all space around, they try to obtain much, but often get man`s traits of character.

also other manifestation of this fear Is. The people who endured collisions with material well-being by all means begin to look for income sources. Most often it is the people who are not seeking to be loaded, they try to find a source for a survival not in themselves, and in out of. You for certain met representatives of this type. They say that there is no work anywhere that on age they do not approach, are ready to nag and grumble endlessly, but at the same time if to offer them work, for example, of the cashier to the subway or the viewer in television mass meeting, will grin and say that this work not for them. Such ladies put on themselves a mask of the unfortunate person, get used to a role of the victim. Such people offended by destiny who allegedly just have no opportunity to earn - are not present abilities, means and successful circumstances to begin to receive good money. Such person constantly is in searches of any resource: writes to concrete instances, receives subsidies, it is cried to relatives and throws requests for the help to the right and on the left. Especially cruelly they join in fight for inheritance. This sacrificial image sometimes immediately turns into an image of the persecutor of which can be frightened both the employer, and bailiffs and those who share with them room meters.

One more type - people who are afraid to lose everything that they will sometime earn. Often such fear happens at descendants of victims of political repression or dispossessed. At the genetic level these people remember what to be to the rich in a family - is life-threatening owing to what show laziness and disinterest in the sphere of material realization, and people around cannot understand where roots of this behavior. Such people do not even try to earn, believing that “time at them all the same will turn out nothing“, and there is no need even to try.

Sometimes the person earns

much - and at the same time instantly spends all money, doing it absolutely not structurally. You will not call him the shopaholic. The woman with pleasure can spend half-salaries for a bag from the last fashionable collection, and then save on kefir. The reason of so illogical acts is covered at early age: in the childhood these people were deprived of some opportunities, were not able to afford what age-mates had. Growing, such woman wants to compensate the children`s desires, she still feels like the little girl who walks by show-windows with is inaccessible expensive toys, and tries to buy the most impossible now. Far behind an example it is not necessary to go: one my acquaintance, the girl of 23 years - the typical impulsive customer. In the childhood her family moved to Russia from Kazakhstan and considerable time until received the apartment, they lived in the hostel. Not worse than others, but it is, of course, rather modest. In several years of business went uphill: parents began to make good money, my heroine went to get higher education. From the first course she began to earn additionally. Praise-worthy aspiration to material independence turned back carelessness to study, but also did not result in financial independence. In the pay day invasion in shopping center - and money as was organized happened! It is remarkable that the bought things were expensive: elite cosmetics, clothes from boutiques. Now my acquaintance works at two works, earns twice more, than her coevals, and at the same time managed to hang up on itself 4 (!) credit for the most ordinary things! The person cannot save up for the first contribution to the small-capacity car what to speak about the large sum...

the Fear of the woman that it will remain without money amplifies the following factors: negative experience in its antecedents (a poor family) and complete material dependence from the husband (the spouse - the only source of the income in a family, and the woman does not earn or has no profession).

the Fear of the future is connected by

with the fact that we perceive any surprise as the negative fact - something can happen, and we will be powerless. Today the material resource is not luxury, but means of livelihood. It is a guarantee of better services (education, medicine, food) and, as a result, safer life. Requirement of safety, security at the person - the second for the importance after primary physiological (hunger, thirst, a dream, sex), so-called basic requirements. So the “apartment, work, circle of friends, relationship with parents and children“ set is a contribution to the personal tranquility.

From the book “In fight for real men. Fears of the real women“