Rus Articles Journal

As there are difficult to the kid of

Thirty two years I lived for myself. So far on ultrasonography did not report interesting news. I was delighted, and my darling too - we will become mother and the father as it is healthy! The relatives excited by news, physicians and articles on the Internet unanimously go on about female happiness. Only somewhere there, on boondocks, in small print - about a postnatal depression and sleepless nights. But in pleasant efforts - than tasty to indulge itself on what concert to descend what to buy the kid - you do not pay attention to it. And here a long-awaited lump - and the truth, happiness! - put to your breast. The first acquaintance in maternity hospital: unusually. But nearby pediatricians - will prompt and will help, besides think, it is heavy here, here I will leave the grown hateful hospital, and houses and walls help... At last, the parcel with bows is solemnly handed to the father. It seems - all! Difficult nine months behind, the child is healthy, mother recovers, as it is there is a wish to put the kid in a new bed, to show the picked-up toys and books with such love, to dress in these nice tiny clothes. And here - that rushes into pink dreams reality...

You are one. The kid shouts. Pure, full, healthy (“ambulance“ already blacklisted your address) - that to it not so? It is unclear. Obkakal the new house shorts which are specially bought to his arrival. Srygnul on just washed and ironed baby`s undershirt. Climbed a hand and all izvazyukatsya in cream under a diaper. And it more than once, not two, is system, and somehow not to books and toys any more, at least for an hour to take a nap at night, and with horror think what soon again to rise...

as a result - fatigue, irritation, failures, rage, even rejection. It is very sick to think of it, but how many cases when mothers begin to avoid and even to hate the kid. Such “mothers“, however, a case for the psychiatrist, but even the most loving and timid mother at least once and thought - when all this comes to an end...

Ya - the loving mother. About a month I resignedly suffered - both gripes, and sleepless nights. But once (at that time we already safely coped with gripes, and no prerequisites to sufferings of the child existed) the daughter suddenly after feeding unexpectedly began to shout and did not calm down. We have a feeding mixed (a breast + dokorm), on hours. Hell was farther: well it is necessary?! Was full, does not hiccup, does not turn in a leg, pokakat, it was washed away, played, esteemed, warmly, comfortably, mother swings continuously... And suddenly three hours of mad shout later she in a second is disconnected - yes so with pleasure breathed heavily, having palmed off a small palm under a cheek and smacking the lips a pacifier, well just the angel! Only as ill luck would have it before the following feeding - only fifteen minutes... I put it, prepared mix, approached, I awake - does not wake up: here, I think, earlier - what to you was not fallen down? And here I did not sustain: took and is sharp, with rage, pulled out a pacifier at it from a mouth.

She, of course, woke up - hardly it brought it pleasant feelings. I thought, she will begin to cry. But she did not begin to cry. She opened eyes and looked at me as before never looked. Deeply and fixedly. I do not know what from me then proceeded. But she understood everything. And just silently, with a mute reproach, asked eyes: “Mother, for what?“

I I began to cry here. Took the daughter on hands, pressed to a breast as strong as it is possible, and understood that any more never on it I will break. Because the woman before to bring the child, has to get... no, not fashionable tiny things, but tenderness and patience.

In general the child shouts for three reasons: hunger, cold and pain. Whims at the child - the baby do not happen in principle: as psychologists claim, at such age the consciousness was not created so thinly yet, it occurs a bit later. And later the child`s whims - already wine not of the child, and parents, tenderness and patience does not mean overindulgence. Of course, it is simpler to take the kid in a matrimonial bed - he right there will fall asleep, than to rock to sleep in a bed, in a dozing state reading it verses, or to get rid of the child is more senior a new toy, than tenderly, but firmly to explain why what he wants is impossible for it. If the kid - the baby all the time asks on hands, so it is natural and clear: at mother on handles it is easier, and he just asks for help of the loved one, and has the right to count on this help. It does not mean that it is necessary not to let him - in everything the reasonable balance is necessary. But when mother is faced by a question, to go about the own business or once again to pay attention to the complaining child, remember: your kid came to the world that to love you - and loves you for something, just because you are a mother, and only from - for this love he calls you all the time. In some sense for parents it is a debt, now do not complain. But main thing, certainly, not it!

Look to the kid in eyes, remember his touching toothless smile, the lightest and loving when he sees your person - and think of it, but not of how terribly exhausts his infinite shout. Were tired, to you it is bad? Think how well to the kid when he at you on handles. Are hungry, there is even no time to throw a piece into a mouth? Let the husband it is connected and will feed from a spoon while you swing the kid. There are affairs? Let relatives will undertake them. There is nobody to help, you one? Well so there is a kid who that`s it now at you on hands, so you are not lonely, and it is the most great happiness, and affairs will wait. As a last resort, if the irritation reads off scale, and it is longer simply impossible to suffer - make over yourself the last effort, merge your negative on somebody another. Then apologize - you will be understood, it are adults. But only not on the kid, at all not on the kid...

Of course, the fatigue and irritation are natural and clear, for it it is difficult to judge. But it is possible to fight with them - at least, I found a way for myself. Those tenderness and patience. I press the hnyka to a breast, I kiss a native makushechka and I think: it could come not to me, and to somebody to another, and on it could raise the voice, stop one shouting indifferently from pain and fear, even - the most terrible that can exist - to strike or it is worse than that... And at this thought becomes at the same time and terribly, and it is surprisingly easy. It not with somebody, and with me - so, everything is good.

Now whatever it happened, I as a mantra, about myself I repeat: tenderness and patience. Also I am proud of the fact that my daughter always under protection, my darling, the only, lukewarm lump.

of Yuli Morozkin