Rus Articles Journal

Fugacities of happiness

to me five years that day when on radio declared that war ended were executed. And though I almost did not know the father (the death notification to him came to 43 - m to year), the Victory Day was remembered as the brightest holiday in my life. Neighbors gathered on municipal kitchen, and the lavish feast, dances under an accordion to an upad began. Then all city walked and all congratulated each other on a long-awaited victory. For fatigue I fell asleep under a table, with pleasure sucking a sugar piece. The entertainment to me was brought by the uncle Fedya who lost in the war the right hand, but did not lose flashing sense of humour. Thanks to the last quality it fascinated my mother and became us with the sister the second father. The father, but not the stepfather because was a person of the kindest soul. Never I will forget that day when “father“ mounted me to himself upon a neck and incurred in Toy Store shop to choose the first in my life doll. The doll had blue eyes and white silk ringlets, a dress in peas and small rubber fingers. I admired it hours, feeling improbable pleasure from possession of a favourite thing. The admiring proceeded until the sister did not carry a doll the yard to play with other girls. The doll came back home crippled. As the uncle Fedya from war. And I remembered well what to share personal belongings often happens hard - what there was told by my fair mother.

Mother I became early. In 18 married in a hurry for the schoolmate. He went to army, and I gave birth to the son. Childbirth was difficult, but what delight and affection tested when took on hands of the firstborn, put him to a breast, felt a beating of his small heart. We lived in poverty, but with hope for the best. Graduated from one institute with the husband. Also went on distribution by young specialists to Siberia. Knock of wheels, behind a window - pines, in hands - a guitar and a cup of tea. This our first travel. We are young, happy and we have all ahead. The daughter was born. And she taught the main thing - the huge power of belief which helped me to stand at the difficult moment and to win against a dreadful disease.

Now, winding off a memory ball back, I remember the best shots of cinema under the name “life“. Significant moments. It is remembered how moved from a cold barrack to own apartment. As glued wall-paper, and, having spread on a newspaper floor (furniture did not buy yet), noted housewarming. As sat up in kitchen with friends in the evenings, in hot debate discussing the future changes in the country. As there went forever to America the husband`s relatives. And we stood with a family, having closely nestled to each other, understanding that we never will see them any more. It is remembered how began our family business with which happiness of my first trip abroad is connected. And let to me it was far for forty, but I was where could never visit even a dream earlier.

I wanted to

In youth much: money, the apartment, the car, beautiful clothes, trips to the sea. And I ran at full speed, sometimes forgetting to listen to myself, to recover the breath. It seemed to me that happiness tomorrow. Somewhere there, behind the horizon. At first to grow up and learn children, then to help them with grandsons, then... The banal plans painted for the years ahead. Everything, as well as at all. Now to me 71. And I pray about health and rest. I was mistaken much, lost, suffered, cried and laughed, fought and won. I at last learned to listen to silence in myself and I seek to live in one afternoon. To live as last time is and there is real happiness. In the fugacities available to everyone: rich or poor, sick or healthy. I crack a window in a garden and I listen to sounds of inevitably coming spring, aroma of a thaw and a ring of streamlets. I live!

Vera Platonova