Fugacities of happiness
to me five years that day when on radio declared that war ended were executed. And though I almost did not know the father (the death notification to him came to
Mother I became early. In 18 married in a hurry for the schoolmate. He went to army, and I gave birth to the son. Childbirth was difficult, but what delight and affection tested when took on hands of the firstborn, put him to a breast, felt a beating of his small heart. We lived in poverty, but with hope for the best. Graduated from one institute with the husband. Also went on distribution by young specialists to Siberia. Knock of wheels, behind a window - pines, in hands - a guitar and a cup of tea. This our first travel. We are young, happy and we have all ahead. The daughter was born. And she taught the main thing - the huge power of belief which helped me to stand at the difficult moment and to win against a dreadful disease.
Now, winding off a memory ball back, I remember the best shots of cinema under the name “life“. Significant moments. It is remembered how moved from a cold barrack to own apartment. As glued wall-paper, and, having spread on a newspaper floor (furniture did not buy yet), noted housewarming. As sat up in kitchen with friends in the evenings, in hot debate discussing the future changes in the country. As there went forever to America the husband`s relatives. And we stood with a family, having closely nestled to each other, understanding that we never will see them any more. It is remembered how began our family business with which happiness of my first trip abroad is connected. And let to me it was far for forty, but I was where could never visit even a dream earlier.I wanted to
In youth much: money, the apartment, the car, beautiful clothes, trips to the sea. And I ran at full speed, sometimes forgetting to listen to myself, to recover the breath. It seemed to me that happiness tomorrow. Somewhere there, behind the horizon. At first to grow up and learn children, then to help them with grandsons, then... The banal plans painted for the years ahead. Everything, as well as at all. Now to me 71. And I pray about health and rest. I was mistaken much, lost, suffered, cried and laughed, fought and won. I at last learned to listen to silence in myself and I seek to live in one afternoon. To live as last time is and there is real happiness. In the fugacities available to everyone: rich or poor, sick or healthy. I crack a window in a garden and I listen to sounds of inevitably coming spring, aroma of a thaw and a ring of streamlets. I live!