The man - eternally deceived and eternal debtor?
As often the woman become angry, take offense and quarrel with the beloved from - for what it does not do. Or does, but not so. Or at the wrong time. And it is not pleasant to feel to anybody guilty. Here and the man already, in turn, becomes angry and takes offense. How it is better to construct the relations? >strikingly differ in
of the Formula of man`s and female love in em from each other. “Remain such what you are“, - the man of the beloved wishes.
In 15 years I for the first time fell in love with the beautiful boy Lenechka. Feelings of that time are unforgettable. We were separated by fall: we got acquainted on vacation, but lived in the different cities. I received every day from it letters and wrote it. At the end of each his letter there was the same phrase:“ Remain such as now“. And I remember distinctly as these words for some reason frightened me. I - that was going to change! I intended to turn into another, and then into another (already all life). And only much later it became clear to me that I argued as the real woman who is completely adapted for all changes of own organism and the status: from not realizing sex of the baby to the girl, from the child - girls to the young girl, with fear and misunderstanding peering into own changing shape from the girl waiting for love to the woman, with happiness and burdens of motherhood.
A here wishes of the boy to remain such as is - it is and there were wishes of the real man. Because he falls in love with that which is now.
We, women, most often think out and we dream. By the principle:“ If I thought up you, become such as I want“. We love and at the same time we plan that in darling to improve it, as if to re-educate him that from it to mold? In each of us to some extent there lives the teacher of kindergarten who precisely knows how it is better. And which all have to obey unconditionally. Otherwise she will stand in the corner. Or still as - nibud will punish.Should be told
, as man`s, and female dreams (about an invariance and convertibility) are unrealizable. Are Or rather, unrealizable if to demand the absolute, the ideal embodiment.
But nevertheless should be remembered the main thing. Also it is necessary to adhere to this main thing.
- the Man is visual. Therefore under all circumstances it is necessary to care for own appearance. Darling has to be proud of you.
- For the man the huge role is played by intimate proximity. If you refuse to it (was tired, there are no forces, tomorrow to get up early etc.) the man sees in it absence of love and interest.
- the Man waits for loyalty from the partner. An ideal of man`s friendship - trust and mutual assistance. Here and from the darling he waits for observance of rules of honor. Even the simple discussion with the girlfriend of some shortcomings of darling which is incidentally heard by it can undermine confidence to you.
- the Man appreciates in the woman the best qualities - tenderness and sensitivity. Constant irritability, shouts, spiteful intonations, accusations in the existing and nonexistent sins very quickly bring all love feelings to naught and even to hostility.
- the Man needs care of himself. It is easy to distinguish the abandoned and started man from well-groomed, surrounded with care and love. Even the most independent and undemanding man all heart responds to manifestations of care of it.
During a time of meetings and expectations, love and hopes each favorable detail of the appearance, we selflessly indulge in love, we are ready to demand nothing and not to wait if only only the man was near. Once we are assured that dreams came true, we give an easy time to ourselves. One for another. And imperceptibly we get out of hand. We change to unrecognizability. And it is fine externally! But when the gentle floret at the moment of irritation begins to let forth incredibly masterly and poisonous stream of oaths, any man feels at first surprise, then a question (and with whom I, actually, deal?) then the internal rejection which is coming to an end with flight.Should not leave to
efforts to be pleasant. Very much not to lose the won positions. To be above own anger, irritation, peevishness. That the relations remained beautiful, beautiful people, but not monsters with the lines distorted to unrecognizability of favourite faces have to participate in them.
the Eternal debtor
We live in society which declares sexual equality. And it means that at us not only the equal rights, but also equal duties. The man, as well as the woman, is obliged to care for aged parents. The man, as well as the woman, is obliged to be an example of own children. He is obliged to provide financially the children until they grow up. He is also obliged to support the wife if that is disabled. Besides, the man is obliged to be the defender of the homeland if it is required. The man is obliged to observe laws of the country in which lives. Here laws immutable, the main.
However we with conviction repeat the words “the man has to“ at the slightest pretext. Why has to? Just because it seems so to us. We so think, that`s all.
- of the Girlfriend are discussed by details of appointment of one of them. “How, without bouquet came? Well and why such is necessary? The man has to...“
- the Husband after work sits at the TV. “Idler! The man has to...“
- the Wife is revolted with unwillingness of the husband to go in day off shopping that “just to look“. “The man has to...“
- “As, it still did not take you on rest anywhere? The man has to...“
the Man “has to“ suffer our whims, remember all treasured dates (the first meeting, the first kiss, the first proximity, day of filing of application in the REGISTRY OFFICE, the wedding day etc.) and to make a gift to each date, it has to much and is wearisome to work, to earn much, has to have big prospects, has to play after the formidable working day with children, do with them homeworks, and then it has to incline inventively the wife to sex, bringing her the heat and passion. Yes, still he has to speak long with the wife on any her heart-felt female subjects. He has to refuse friends if they are not pleasant to the wife. To communicate less with own parents (it has the family, and he has to think first of all of it).
A if to try so? >
For a start it is simple to p to replace formulations.Instead of “you have to“ state to
own wish:“As if I wanted
“Me so it is pleasant to p when you...“
“I awfully rejoice when you...“
“My dear, when...“
of the Man, contrary to our ideas of them, very much pay attention to words and tone of the statement. The same wish can be stated aggressively, having forced the man to resist internally it, and in the form of a kind friendly request which is absolutely easy for executing.
From the book “Lie as the Man, Manipulate as the Woman“