Men have a rest! And women?
you feel this warm summer breeze of changes? Courageous half of our families with arrival of heat sharply become more active: scatter networks, foul the trail, sharpen harpoons, hang up on a gun wall, dry flippers and are engaged in occupations other, lovely to male heart. And there comes one strange Saturday morning when your husband, the friend, the brother, the matchmaker (necessary to emphasize), looking at you clear, sweet eyes offers: “And let`s go on fishing... (that, in general, is not bad!) or on spearfishing...“ (that it is much worse!) .I Will explain
. Having got into place, the happy owner of a mask, flippers, the gun and a diving suit, within several seconds disappears from the field of your sight, and appears, at best, hour through three.
First life seems to you fine and surprising, the sun shines cheerfully and brightly. On a kosterka soup cheerfully gurgles. Children and dogs frolic. And then cows come. Red, white and spotty. Confused you specific a plowing around and suspicious similarity of your parking to a minefield earlier. But your husband (the friend, the brother, the matchmaker) popularly explained to you that only here such zashibatelsky canes in which “not pikes - animals!“ already davny - long ago wait for it, having turned the necessary side. Now you understand how you cruelly were mistaken, having given in on his arrangements. (And, in general, seemingly, that it needed not you, and the watchman for his beloved car). And so. These horned friends of the person obviously feel like owners here. Your dog is nervous: there is too much them to bark at everyone personally. Besides, it is obviously ignored that sensitive Heart of a Dog will wound. Your son is torn to bathe to the lake, but there - too they. You receive an object lesson of cow physiology: it appears, they absorb and emit liquid at the same time. Therefore bathing is cancelled for today. While you try to rescue in the car of a laying and sandwiches, you lose some soup. And, the pan can even be not washed. The happy and full bull-calf nobly jams to you in friends. To leave this incessant nightmare on almost steep slope covered with cobble-stones only the champion “Paris - Dakkar“ or your precious supruzhnik could. Time hangs terribly heavy. On an end of the fifth hour all of you - take the wheel with the purpose to reach to the closest rescuers. And here it appears . Blue color, clattering with teeth, but with several shchuchin on the kukena. Your anger exhausts in pity. Having fed a liquid by a tea from a thermos and having slightly warmed, he with insult is interested: “And why you welded nothing?“ “...!!!!!“ The shepherd approaches here and sheds light on the fact that you illegally came around on a lawful cow rookery and lovely suggests to drive on a horse... for a glass of vodka. “...!!!“
the Husband (the friend, the brother, the matchmaker) to umilostivit you, overtakes the car on other place where, it seems, there are no cows nearby, and suggests to bathe. You, remembering digestive features of horned girlfriends, you agree to bathe only strictly on the middle of the lake. The boat is inflated, and you come up. In a pleasure anticipation from deserved bathing, you touch the handle water, you splash a leg. Water suits you, and you are already ready to dive: And here - la`s finita the comedy, they appear! They fly the wide front, covering all lake, covering the sun, the black croaking bombers. They fly and spoil. Feeling that the hail began. But everything is much worse. This end of the world. By some miracle to you on the head nothing gets. While you hastily remove from the middle of the lake, crows repeat the maneuver twice. “...!!!“
So mine to you council, girls, do not trust men - have a rest civil. Jellyfishes at coasts were poisoned oil and other waste, sharks are found generally in the movie “Jaws“, and the Turkish, Spanish and other foreign men are brought almost up and quite harmless. Well, and if it wants wildnesses, get off in packs. Alone outdoors not to survive!