Curative lies of
Why children lie to us? Very often - escaping from us. But happens that the child escapes deception not from specific people and circumstances, and from life in general...the word “lie“ means
not only to deceive, but also to invent, dream, and initially - to conjure.“ The doctor“ is the one who in old times exorcized an illness.
the Childhood - a golden time, time of not saddened feeling, light attitude, carelessness and pure happiness...
Here, perhaps, nai6olee widespread cliche. However life shows that internal life of the child is difficult and absolutely is not always harmonious; the belief in an arrangement of people around, even the closest, is not unconditional. The world quite often is represented unclear, menacing and homeless. Feeling of loneliness even in a family, familiarly and to express painful or just sad experiences forces the child to look for protection and compensations. Imagination and lies very for this purpose are good.
Create to yourself the world
Plunging into the world of the imagination, the child leaves from reality, “exorcizes“ it. It is presented in not decorated form to it hostile, cold, rough and uncomfortable... Here we need to be especially attentive and careful.
All children dream, creating in dreams a wonderful world - quite often very much and very far from the ordinary. If the illusory world created by the child coexists with reality, but does not replace it if are not interrupted it, the child, communications with surrounding if his development is not broken - imagination it is possible to refer to manifestation of the creative beginning. In this case it is necessary to try to help it to realize the creative bents, to make so that his imagination received expression in drawings, stories, games... In general it is good when the child writes verses, composes music, draws, keeps the diary, - it is necessary to treat it seriously and yours faithfully.
However the children`s psychiatrist are come into the view by cases when children are completely captured by the imaginations when the world of illusions becomes the only world in which they agree to live.
Aliens in the help?
Ya I remember the eleven-year-old boy - oddish, silent, very capable to music and mathematics. His endowments were obvious and unilateral: other objects troubled it. At school it was necessary to it hardly: children teased, slighted the teacher, and it was not possible to overcome this unfair relation in any way. The moment when he refused to go to school at all came. He told me: there to it to go “absolutely once“ because he is constantly busy with thoughts of “the“ aliens. He knew about them everything, he, as a matter of fact, lived in this Shvambraniya, on other end of Solar system. At this time at it lacked only on school - he continued to go in for music and mathematics. Year of training at home, some special measures and the private school found later with small classes and the sparing mode made the business: the child was not thrown out from life. He studies now quite successfully though he and remained chudnovaty...
A here one little girl imagined herself a puppy - she ran on all fours, with a roar demanded that she was fed from a bowl on a floor and drove to walk on a lead. Business was that in a family the baby appeared, and senior solved: it is necessary to nobody now. And if it is not necessary as the child - suddenly will fall in love a puppy?
How to be in similar cases? Whether it is necessary to play by the rules which are thought up by the child and to pretend as if to drive to walk the six-year-old girl on a lead - a commonplace? Or to work rigidly: to forbid “focuses“ most decisively?
That we do
Resorting to extremes, we only aggravate situation. Any unusual behavior of the child when he already ceases to do distinction between game - the imagination and reality, “plays“ so that contact with it is at a loss, demands a professional advice. Also it is not necessary to wait when frustration of behavior become obvious... Be not afraid to address the psychologist or the children`s psychiatrist, deal with him together what your child, what real soil of his imaginations suffers from. Perhaps, you should listen to something not really flatter in the address; perhaps, it will turn out that also special measures are already required - the children`s nervous system is vulnerable, and reaction to a mental trauma is easily fixed. Be careful and attentive!be Especially careful
with the remedy for vital burdens which is so loved by us - irony. The child is inclined to regard any joke as a sneer, - especially if you practise into his account in public. If he entrusted you a secret - make thrifty use of it, do not do a problem of the child by a chatter subject with the friend.
A “to expose“ and “you do not hurry to drive into the corner“. The child, as well as any person, has the right to keep the secrets. If the trust of the child to you is so big that he shares the imaginations, do not hurry to forbid and do not panic. Be interested, listen, penetrate. Perhaps, you will dream together...
Together with the center of development of interpersonal communications