How to get on with parents in one territory?Will be a question not of small children, and already about absolutely adult. The child grew up, entered the university and strives for freedom and lack of parental control. Or decided to marry, establish a family - a separate and full-fledged cell of society … Here only a cell - the general with parents! And cohabitation in one apartment can turn into a survival …
Mother, I go to live to a hostel!
Until recently western option when children come to a higher educational institution and go to live to the hostel or on the apartment, now gradually gets accustomed also at us. And, probably, it is correct. The matured child wants to escape from parental embraces and to live life. And it is difficult to parents to release the child in free floating, but it is so necessary for full development of the identity of your maturing child.
It is difficult to receive the room in the hostel, especially if you entered the university in the city. It is necessary to collect a huge number of references and to prove that a large number of people lives in the apartment, that is the insufficient number of square meters are the share of one family member, so, there are no conditions for diligent study.
Everything develops successfully when you receive the room in the hostel, the raised grant and a small salary, earning additionally in non-study time. In this case each parent will be proud of the child. Children, of course, will come sometimes to leave linen in washing or to regale on something tasty. Such situation is very good from all directions. During formation of the personality do not preserve the child and do not make decisions for it. Independence - the key to success. Children who early come off parents and try to provide themselves, quickly find themselves in life and achieve success.
Mother, I marry!
of Ur, came true! The son fell in love, marries, we will nurse grandsons … Only as we will live together?
Not all parents can provide the son with housing. Someone could earn, and someone is not present. If there is no opportunity to exchange the apartment, then before a wedding parents have time to save up for removable housing.
It is possible to try to arrive as follows: to rent to young people apartment for one year. To pick up the acceptable housing which suits parents in all respects, but not young people. The cheap apartment - not necessarily awful, sad and dirty. It is possible to rent small, simple and pure apartment, but without excesses. In order that young people had an incentive to improve the life: it is better to earn money and to pick up to itself something.
Mother, we will save for the apartment for now we live with you!
Sometimes it becomes argument for cohabitation with parents at the beginning of family life. First year of family life very difficult. Young people get used each other, often quarrel, sort out the relations. Cohabitation with parents can do much harm to a young family.
In - the first, mothers-in-law / mothers-in-law like to teach young daughters-in-law / sons-in-law, and it is already a stress for them, so also each other properly to learn it did not turn out! In - the second, parents will take part in any conflict of newlyweds. Not each adult will sustain it, and youth with the raging hormones - and even less so...
And then if they save for the apartment, then count that your expenditure will increase many times. The senior generation, most likely, should pay utility payments, products and any trifles. The discontent in this question can negatively affect durability of a young family too.
Parents should make the decision. If you agreed that young people will live with you, then it is necessary to establish some rules. It is obligatory to discuss expenditure and not to participate in family quarrels.
By the way, to newlyweds will not prevent to think of the behavior too. The conflicts have an adverse effect also on parents. Adults worry about young people, try to interfere and reconcile. Do not swear at parents and do not look for at them protection. Parents, in turn, in such conflicts should not get up on someone`s party.