Victim of domestic violence or... and who the victim - that?Ya - the tyrant. House tyrant. Yes, yes, that cultivated despot, houses with the newspaper and in slippers, at work in a tie and behind a computer - all as is necessary, from hands and which other parts of a body, verbally, physically and psychologically, often without any visible reason, my poor little wife martyrly suffers. I that “the diffident and diffident man“, “the enemy in a bed“, “the family satrap“, “the fanatic and the torturer“ (women, well-known, a folk garrulous, not very well, psychologists with two highest educations or the studied less housewives - the same essence with what only “gentle“ epithets of our brother did not allocate) whom do not feed with bread, let`s mock at the defenseless half.
How many articles are written how many ink and paper is spent, and the brought psychologists familiar with the most undercover strings of human soul, gave the wise advice, and the victims of domestic violence, first imparted the bitter experience, and then gave a wise advice, both that and others, in plenty narydavshis again, later expressed each other the female solidarity, and then with relief sighed and came back home to the husbands and boyfriends - to house tyrants and despots. And how raised a hand, on some unknown to all feminine gender to the pathological reason, and continue by the same to be engaged as if they did not read and did not see either articles, or transfers about them, unfortunate which the most detailed images their bad behavior abnormal passion to a manhandling understands. Wise, advanced and far-sighted (the emancipation, all - was not in vain) - our women. Far-sighted and only not really. One was forgotten, one trifle, one nuance - to listen and listen to the second half, that - to “house tyrants and despots“, to “enemies in a bed“ with whom continue to live, not for the sake of themselves, is not present, of course, - for the sake of children
A now seriously and frankly. In - the first, it is initially unknown who the victim and who the torturer. The one who though he is a little familiar with psychology, knows that the first victim, and it is frequent also the last is the tyrant, and the victim often carries the hidden lines of the tyrant. And if women divided domestic violence on physical, verbal and psychological, they should not have spoken only about a physical abuse. The verbal violence, for example, can make not less strong impact on an individual, than a physical abuse. A strong half knows about what the speech. In translation into clear language: when the woman, again, that is called “saws“ the husband it seems “Again collapsed on a sofa, the idler, - I pound from you as from a goat of milk“ or “Again from you beer bears, the drunk accursed“, that is, verbally exasperates the spouse, it makes quite negative, pejorative impact on that to whom these words are turned, and can be classified as verbal violence.
my better half, for example, always, I repeat, always, with something it is dissatisfied. And it is unimportant whether I “shoveled“ a great lot of cases today and I am ready to drop by the evening or provalyalsya the whole day on a sofa with the newspaper, my beloved without fail will find an occasion to discontent. I believe, however, is not present, I am firmly convinced that this illogical need for discontent, continuous grumbling and in full of reproach of the views which are generously thrown into my party is an integral part of a female nature which is descended from mother to the daughter. “We once a year are happy with ourselves“ as they about themselves speak. And “Ivanov“, “Petrov“ or “Sidorov“ - and is more rare than that. the Woman so wants
that it was understood. “What is wanted by the woman“, “A female riddle“, “Female logic“ - how many transfers, newspapers and magazines are devoted to them, one and only. They persistently aspire and try to understand themselves, and here on the husbands, beloved and boyfriends, the aspiration it and diligence somehow does not extend. The intuition at the best half of mankind is developed not bad (all of them feel time and have a presentiment of something that and in mention is not present), and here the elementary logic at them is absent at all. By mathematical deduction to calculate that time the husband came from work in the evening - means, it is tired and hungry, time is tired and hungry - means, it is necessary to feed him (or at least not to prevent most to fry to itself eggs) and to allow to extend on a sofa the tired members, to allow to have a rest, but not to have a ball on the fact that again the washing machine and it is urgently necessary to repair broke or that to it, again, nothing to dress or that is not necessary after the spouse is intimidated will swallow a dinner and will put a dirty plate in a sink (instead of right there being engaged in a sink of dirty ware, and then to take out a garbage can, and later, et cetera, et cetera) - at the fair sex of sharpness, alas, is not enough for it.
of the Woman, well in that it is a little man, absolutely a little in any way the pretty heads, in any way, can take, differ from them. They cannot, foolish, understand that repair of the old car bought on last resorts at the friend (“a coffin on wheels &ndash is much more important for it; money for wind!“), than clear-out in the apartment to arrival of mother (“Look only in what shed we live!“ On what it: “And in my opinion, nothing, is cozy“) or that when he is busy with favourite business to him deeply on. to at - it is full or is hungry, a shirt, pure on it, or it did not change it the whole day! our faithful companions not in forces to understand
why their satellites so like to drink bitter frothy beverage with the salty and smelling slightly fish under the name “in a bl“ (but not hot chocolate with croissants), to watch this foolish football and to shout at the same time as nedorezanny when their favorite team once again cannot go into a ball between two columns (display 247 “The Rich Want to Laugh Too“ series - where as it is more interesting). Our women do not understand why when men are nervous, they clap doors, raise the voice, dazhemonut to fill to somebody the person (if “somebody“ does not fill it to it). Wives do not understand as all Sunday is possible, without having shaved and without having cleaned teeth, to carry out in the old cluttered-up garage or on fishing, or still where - nibud, outdoors. Well, they do not understand it! And I to you, our dear women, will try to explain - just we from different planets! You from Venus, and we from Mars! Therefore we such different if you did not notice it yet.
However, to the following subject - to the family conflicts, in which final responsible always one - “the house tyrant“. There is such expression “If two are littered - means two and are guilty“. Someone is more, someone is less. But two, but not one as all of us often try to present. If between the husband and the wife there was a conflict and the woman, physically or psychologically suffered, so the fault, in some measure, lies also on it. With rare exception, when the husband or the boyfriend - the pathological tyrant who is out for blood or, for example, the deranged drunkard. Analyse the behavior, lovely ladies that you “not so told“, “not so made“, than provoked and brought the man to that he raised a hand against you. Do not close an eye to it. If there is a consequence, so there is also a reason. At what always. And it is frequent it in you. I remember
Ya how for the first time gave slap in the face of the then still hotly - the beloved wife. We squabbled, to put it mildly, from - for what I gave money to the mother who gathered to my grandmother. It was not pleasant to the spouse that I, in - the first, gave to mother of money, in - the second that previously did not consult to her. I understand. It was important for the wife. She explains all this with normal tone, but not in the form of never-ending claims and offenses, the tone which is waking up in me deep feeling of fault - it is sure, everything would develop in a different way. But is not present, the thought of what I gave to mother of money, burned down and tormented her as the heated brand, she hinted at it again and again that, eventually, I educated and well well-mannered person which counted up to that ill-fated moment of, lost over himself control and in a rush of frank rage gave it slap in the face. Well I remember the feelings at that moment - everything boiled in me. I never who could have foretold that that me, the quiet person, it is possible to enrage so. Long time I regretted for the incident what I spoke to the half more than once about. Now, after so many years and, having recognized the wife and in general a feminine gender it is slightly better, my regrets, has to tell, half evaporated.
Was some more similar faux pas. About myself I noted congenital female ability everything to exaggerate. Simply offensive word with ease and the hidden coquetry turned into the “insult“ demanding immediate atonement, an easy poke in frank “blow“, partly deserved slap in the face in obvious “beat“. At what, I was always guilty of all our quarrels. I am one.
she did not understand my despair, be I within a year without work, she was interested in my problems with health a little, from all psychological dramas I almost always looked for an exit independently. It was near and … was not. Except for the first year of our joint life, we had no “heart-to-heart conversations“ when my small world fell, there was no given hand with hot sincere handshake and when discharged from office - indifference and indifference. Even the words “I love you“ or “you are the best“ and similar “important nonsense“ I heard only when elicited all this as the last the beggar.
I very much regretted Earlier that I raised a hand against the wife. Very much worried, sincerely regretted, hated himself, could not understand how it could with me, with us, occur. Now, when I understand the woman much better when I understand myself, both again and again I analyze those events, me doubts, doubts … in the regret seize. And whether really I regret???