Where it is possible to apply a reasonable egocentrism?the Subject of “a reasonable egocentrism“ deserve separate conversation. Very much it is important and actual in ours... and at any time! As “knows“ to
, it is impossible to live in society and to be free from society. Though, in comparison with ancestors, we are seemingly far more free from social barriers, class restrictions and other manifestations of dictatorship of society. On the contrary, even advertizing urges “to be itself“. And what there still? Let`s say “not to allow itself to dry up“... Though that else, is already unimportant. Because here it, dictatorship of society. Was.
Dictatorship is the most powerful. Only implicit. And it is far more difficult to oppose to the “invisible“ enemy!, It seems, urge “to be themselves“ - and right there specify, how exactly. Remarkable trap!
Of course, there is a lot of also obvious public instructions. Not the laws but not less obligatory. From rules of politeness to etiquette. What can be defined as “is accepted“. Actually and they “are not less dangerous“. At least because usually are not comprehended. On the one hand, our property to perceive the “standard“ establishments as due, is useful. In the childhood. Allowing to transfer standards of behavior (including safety) in society, skills, knowledge. Present that children will begin to think of any our instruction seriously!
Here only this children`s property does not remain in the childhood. Though sometimes it is necessary also for adults, nevertheless in most cases to us would be far more useful to comprehend skill presented to us as “due“ in the beginning. And we continue “to consume“ everything habitually.
The problem is that together with useful inspire in us weight unnecessary, and even harmful. Apprehended, it becomes ““: already our habits and views. Our nature. Which is very difficult for correcting even if insalubrity of this or that its line is already clear. That it is necessary to change - already itself!
And it is enough to think “only“ in the beginning skill of that as as presents society. The reasonable offer - what not to accept? Or neutral, not bearing harm and not creating excessive difficulties. Or what is not too difficult to you and is for some reason significant for people around. For example, rules of etiquette. Over observing it is possible to laugh. But if significant for you now society follows them, you should make the best impression! Just do it consciously.
Actually, here and “a reasonable egocentrism“ : if your advantage of following to someone else`s rules is more than your “expenses“ (losses, difficulties, expenses and so forth) it makes sense to them to follow. Conditionally speaking: you love, having eaten, to lick a plate - you look on circumstances whether it is pertinent. House got used or do the same? That is your behavior strains nobody? Yes for God`s sake! It is pleasant to shock strangers? At the same time their opinion does not influence your life in any way, and you derive from it the mass of pleasure? Look!
But I think, nobody will afford the same where the opinion of others influences his life. Probably, any not only will refrain from “undue“, but also will try to learn several rules of etiquette!
But it is very rough example. Usually both suggestions, and other dictatorship of a social environment are far thinner, more persistent and more powerful. And still they penetrate literally all our life, and at the same time it is not always easy to distinguish them. Yes at least an example about mechanical consumption of “beer and delicacies“ in the company! They, of course, “are accepted“. Only to execution are not obligatory at all and are not always harmless. And I am familiar with people sociable and sociable, but observing an abstemiousness and selectivity in food. They do not hesitate of it! The company will try gradually that - another, nobody looks sideways when they prepare or if in cafe, order to themselves a separate dish. And the alcoholic drinks are not taken by many! And it does not prevent communication. Of course, if the purpose of your company - to eat and drink, another matter. If gathered not for the sake of it, then not to understand a sin that idea of obligatory maintenance of communication by binge - having a snack - no more than tradition. To execution not so obligatory!
Actually and the speech at us about understanding of such here things. That it is very useful to be able to trace them and accurately to understand: what should be followed very much what costs in this concrete situation to, and than it is possible and it is desirable to neglect.
Only you should not go into other extremes and to impose this understanding and the manner of behavior to others. As, for example, in the Lent together with one fasting “as if all family fasts“. Sometimes under direct pressure, much more often “voluntarily“. “Not to confuse“ etc.
Ya is personally familiar with those who fasting or keeping to an unloading diet, normally prepares on all family. And as prepares! What dishes! Pastries, cakes and other.
It - is normal. And it is an autonomy sign too: not to allow to impose to itself and not to impose the to others.