Time - a miss: punishment of the child or help to it?Sometimes children do not obey us and they should be punished. The time - a miss is one of humane options of punishment, really - it is interruption of contact with the child in the educational purposes.
of Options a time - a miss a set, but usually, punishing in this style, you leave the child on a short period alone, cease to communicate with it or deprive of it communication with those with whom he had a good time. Sometimes it sounds for the child as punishment, sometimes - as the help: to give it the chance to calm down.
It seems to much that a time - a miss - it is obligatory to stand the child in the corner and that did not even turn! No, it not so. The “silent chair“ option for the normal child is much more clear and quieter: got naughty - it is necessary to sit on a chair quietly to calm down. At the same time you can do everything that you want, it is only impossible to leave a chair.
As many mothers note, the time - a miss is especially good the fact that so far the child sits on “a silent chair“, they recover and calm down. It seems, this method sometimes affects not children more well, and parents...
A time - a miss - punishment by deprivation, it in many respects the termination of a reinforcement of behavior which we estimate as undesirable is not obligatory. It is necessary to consider, for the child even our shouts on him - already in some sense pleasure as the child receives from us attention. And if we stop paying attention to it, then is frequent only from - for it the child calms down: why, really, to behave outrageously if nobody looks at it?
For example, the four-year-old kid in rage cries out: “I hate you, I hate you!“, also thrashes fists on mother`s legs. Instead of continuing to altercate with it, try to act on the contrary: stop to pay attention to the child and begin to go about the own business, he to you will not break a bone. You have with the child a break, a time - a miss. Usually in a few minutes rage will be replaced by puffing and the lost look... Now pay the attention to the child again, embrace, press to yourself and change a topic of conversation.
A time - the miss is not only and not just punishment, how many an opportunity to the child to recover and calm down. When the child brawls, it is difficult for it to think. That he began to think, he needs to be alone and not to run. Organize to children such conditions!
Elder sister struck younger. Younger cries, and senior refuses to apologize. To insist? There will be a lot of shout. Instead give to the oldest daughter a task: “You go to the neighboring room, you need to calm down. When you calm down and you will be ready to apologize to the sister, you will tell me“. Usually in a few minutes the situation changes on more favorable.
And once a time - the miss is a collision vol: collision of will of the parent and will of the child. Who is stronger?
For example, the child is capricious, refuses to obey the parent. If this is so, you can tell it: “I will not talk, play and communicate with you while you so behave“. It can pour out also in hour, and at two o`clock strikes, but if you show patience and firmness, the child everything is will go and, quietly grumbling, will change clothes, will clean, will sit down at lessons... The main thing that he understood - if you told, and will be.
To what the time - a house miss can be still similar? For example, you take the child by hand and take away to his room, having cleaned all electronic entertainments from there. It is possible to leave books and simple games, and here phone, iPads and you designate pleasures of life, including friends - all this the child loses. If the child obeys you, then it is even simpler - to put him on a chair near you, let alone sit and misses a little.
There is a lot of options: to leave one in the room, to stand in the corner, to put on a ladder step, etc. The main thing - for a while (several minutes) and it is obligatory to explain for what. Parents write: “Our child from a garden brought the concept naughty corner - a corner for disobedient. Naprokaznichala also speaks: “I will go to sit to a corner!“ Well and we with the husband decided to practice. Worked for us remarkably. Now also we do not put practically if that, it is enough to warn about prospect. Yes, and in a Nanny 911 broadcast they very much recommend time - out - to put where - nibud though on a sofa or on a chair. They still put the timer: 1 minute for every year of the child i.e. if 2 years - 2 minutes to sit, 8 years - 8 minutes. With the timer it is more clear to the child when it is possible to leave, and it is clear that it will last not infinitely“.
Still useful experience: “The daughter tells me now how her girlfriends in the corner of mother are stood. Also thought up to herself punishment: “When I will play pranks if too bothers you, put me on a case“.
If the child does not obey you at all, on a chair does not sit, leaves a corner and from the room runs away, then its actions need to be blocked physically (to hold a door or to stand in the doorway, blocking an exit), and crying and shouts need just to be endured. Actually, crying and shout are not harmful to health of the child, and reasonable people around will support you.
It is more difficult to use this method in the public place, but if not everything is terribly started and houses you already successfully used this approach, then it will help you both on the street, and with a supermarket. In a supermarket as the room for punishment it is possible to use the store cart (to put there the child), either a public toilet, or a corner of shop. As option, you just leave a supermarket... If you took away the child by a hand, it is simpler to deal with the child further and if you left a supermarket, having left it there, then, it is clear, you did not leave for good, and just pretended that you left, and watch the events is hidden.
If the child misbehaves in the car, again - it is necessary to begin to consider. Punishment: you stop on a roadside and do not go anywhere until all calm down, or are developed and go home, but not to walk.
This method is how effective? At what age and in what style it should be applied?
of Ideal methods does not exist, and the time - a miss suits not all and not always.
In - the first, this method works only right after offense: the delayed punishment is not effective any more. On the other hand, the time - a miss is effective as an urgent method of the termination of an outrage and works where “the method of natural consequences“ and “training at own mistakes“ glitches: they work reliably, but not at once...
In - the second, this method when to the child 3 - 4 years is most effective. On the other hand, if you a time - a miss transform and will accompany with the prevention famous to the child, for example “Time! Two! Rub!“, its efficiency will significantly increase. In such option it can be used during from 2 to 12 years.