How not to spoil the beloved child?the Spoilt child usually grow in a family where adults grant to children many rights, undertaking all duties only. We can spoil and spoil the child in three traditional ways.
We spoil it when:
we do not stop violations by the child of rules of conduct.
the Child has to learn to respect rules. For example, it is only polite to talk to parents, to appeal to them, but not requirements and if that is not pleasant - not to take offense and be not to accused, and to discuss. And also - not to shout where it will disturb people around, not to get into conversation of seniors when seniors did not resolve it, and in the principle to behave mannerly.
Therefore: we teach the child to observe a format and we demand that he concerning surrounding people behaved properly: mannerly and yours faithfully. If the child behaves defiantly and disrespectfully, we stop him at once; if the child checks you for durability and declares let small, but we have to win war, this war. Surely.
we Do to for the child what he could make.
Who has to tie to the child his laces? Who has to for it do its homework? And who has to make a breakfast on all family when parents are busy?
Everything that the child can make itself, he has to do. And if is not able yet, let studies. The spoiled children often like to remember the rights, but do not represent their actual content, and strongly exaggerate duties of parents. Therefore we acquaint the child with his rights and duties and we demand from him performance of its duties if he does not want to lose the rights.
we Solve his problems for the child.
Whose problems if the child did not manage to pack in the morning the things and now is late in school? Not yours.
Who is guilty what the child did not eat before the road when he was warned, and now goes hungry? He is guilty, and there is nothing to pout to it.
Who has to apologize to the teacher to whom your child insulted? Your child, and only then - you. This education of responsibility: let gets used to pay for the problems created by it.
The main difficulty here - mothers like to feel sorry for the children, to the last avoid use of drastic measures and are afraid to lose contact with children. They are parental mistakes. Wise parents of children are not sorry not to encourage behavior of the child who plays on feeling of pity; are ready to use force every time, when necessary, and know that reasonable insistence does not destroy contact with the child, and just creates it.
Quite often this ostrich`s policy is started in the early childhood when children began to roll up hysterics and to try parents on durability. Those parents who were able to stop hysterics had normal relations in a family later. All others - had the spoiled children and did not know any more what with them to do...
Your decision, future wise parents?