Injuries which it is from the childhood of
you knew that if the adult had to endure one small children`s grief, its mentality would not cope with it?
Squall of emotions which overflows the child when there is “a small vital tragedy“ is so big that it is difficult to us to present to adults it. Here I mean injuries which (specially or not) mother arranges to the child by “small vital tragedies“. I will give to you several examples. Mother plays with the son, falls and pretends that died. The son tries to wake her, begins to shake, call by name, without understanding what occurs. Mother rises and, indifferently, begins to praise the son. The good fellow, you love the mother! And here one more example. Lonely mother in the prime of life runs away on appointment. And, having a little played, forgets that the child of the house one and it is necessary to come back home in time. The child peers into a window, looking for the mother in passersby. Then breaks on shout, crying because in its world there is an apocalypse now.
And what is done by children`s mentality in such cases? Protective mechanisms which force out the injuring emotions deeply - deeply in unconscious turn on. “It is necessary to behave so that mother was always happy with me“, - the kid thinks and begins to quash in himself sensation of fear, the general dissatisfaction. As a result society receives, in principle, the normal person. Not the maniac, not the loony, but with the deep spiritual wounds hidden it is so reliable, as itself cannot admit.
Then there comes that bright future and at this person the children are born. Voila, there comes that critical point when the nedolyublennost and “small tragedies“ begin to get out. “I precisely know how it is impossible to raise children“ or “I will not make the mistakes made by my mother“, - newly made mother thinks and begins to bring up the child absolutely “in a different way“.
Unfortunately, in mamsky communities often meet too rested and confident in the correctness. Someone does to the newborn an epilation by the test, considering that infantile volosik by all means should be removed, even at the price of cries of own child. Someone in a month refuses night feedings, someone corporal proximity because children cannot be accustomed to hands. Forgive modest opinion of the author, you are foolish little fools. At first the child learns to quash feeling of hunger, then sensation of fear, then in general hints on emotion disappear. Such children are very convenient to mothers. They are not capricious, are not jealous of the mladshemy brother and fondly childly try to make mother`s life very convenient. To them thanks, they are little heroes who sacrifice own life for the sake of mother`s life. However, as well as mothers who are once making a sacrifice for the sake of the mothers.
What the vicious circle is it turns out? Yes, it turns out.
Visual and corporal contact is very important in communication of mother and child. You give it feeling of safety, learn to trust yourself. The postnatal period together with the child is especially important for mothers who are inclined to a depression concerning the new status. And what is accepted at us? To give the child to the grandmother and to be given to despondency that went to the fairy tale, and to a podoroga came a shoe in. lake. Without mother the child does not preodolt fear in any way, it needs attention and careful attitude. You cannot cope, run to the psychotherapist until became late at all!
Some researches say that children possess amazing ability to use for self-development of emotion of people around. Feelings - an integral part of consciousness. The unconditional sincere love is necessary for children and let your children always know about it.