Children`s aggression - how to be? Crisis of three-year age of
by Experts it is noted that the periods of the expressed aggression of the child breaking it the harmonious relations with people around and observed in the course of normal affective development generally coincide with experiences of age affective and personal crises.
Crisis of three-year age is noted by aggressive behavior, whims, negativism, obstinacy, obstinacy, willfulness, depreciation of adults, a protest and even revolt and aspiration to despotism.
Negativism are such manifestations in behavior of the child when he does not want to make something only because it was offered by someone from adults, that is it is reaction not on the content of action, and on the proposal of adults.
Obstinacy - such reaction of the child when he insists on something not because he strongly wanted it but because he it demanded, that is reaction to the own decision.
Obstinacy carries, unlike negativism, impersonal character. It is directed against the norms of education established for the child.
Willfulness consists in aspiration of the child to independence. Independence in intention, only in a rudiment is observed.
Depreciation of adults is shown, for example, if mother heard from the child in the address abusive word.
A protest - revolt develops into frequent quarrels with parents. “All behavior of the child gains lines of a protest as though the child is at war with people around, at the continuous conflict with them“, - L. S. Vygotsky wrote.
In a family with the only child manifestation of despotism meets . The child shows the despotic power in relation to all surrounding and finds for this purpose a set of ways.
During crisis of three years there is what is called bifurcation. There can be conflicts: the child can abuse mother, the toys offered at an inopportune moment, it can break them with rage. There is a change affektivno - the strong-willed sphere that indicates the increased independence and activity of the child. The tendency to independent activity marks the fact that adults are not closed for the child by a subject and way of the treatment of him, and as if for the first time reveal before it, act as carriers of models of actions and the relations in world around.
“I“ mean a phenomenon not only emergence of externally noticeable independence, but also at the same time separation of the child from the adult. Adults as if for the first time result from such office in the world of children`s life. The Toy Store from the world limited to objects turns into the world of adults.
Until recently the child was carried on hands, and now he meets the strict and not giving in to management adults.
A task of parents - to help the child during this period of life. Believe, it is not so easy for it as can seem at first sight, to it it is much heavier. You the adult can also cope with the emotions, the child cannot.
Your task to teach him to do it for simplification of his further communication, for existence in society, in society. Neither bans, nor hails, nor odergivaniye, nor threats, nor slaps it is impossible to force the kid to behave decently.
Here the “wedge wedge“ method is categorically not admissible! If mother herself sets the kid such example if the kid sees that it is allowed to parents to behave aggressively, then for what reaction you wait from it?