Rus Articles Journal

How are Bulgakov`s heroes? In the wake of Voland and To. Part 2

- I Obey and will obey, - the cat the Hippopotamus made a threefold somersault again - to the mortala. - The chief of condominium of the house number 9 on Novotulskaya Street Ivan Fedorovich Skvalyzhny is invited to a scene.

To the room, shy looking around, the little bald person of years 45 without special signs entered.
- Ivan Fedorovich brought us the plan of a political reorganization of society and looks for your support, Messir, - the Hippopotamus solemnly declared.

- And what, at Ivan Fedorovich in condominium already all problems are solved? - Voland was surprised. - Both pipes do not flow, and the roof is repaired, and the elevator works?

- I, actually, not to an occasion of the condominium came, - a low voice Skvalyzhny said. - At us roofs are really higher than problems, but I lately attended to problems of the state reorganization. So to speak, on a global scale. I have to you only three requests.

- So and at once three? I have on reception people much more significant, than you, did not dare to ask more than once. Well, I do not know, I do not know. - Voland knocked with fingers on a chair armrest. - However, well. I am ready to give three minutes. On one minute on a request. And insistently I advise you to keep within the allowed time.

- Me will be it quite enough, - Ivan Fedorovich agreed. - Request the first. I consist in party which differently as the party of crooks and thieves is not called recently. And it very much and very offensively. Here I the post work twenty years only for one salary, and even kopek never stole any.

The cat grabbed a stomach and slipped under a table. From there was heard:
- Here an umor. The honest chief of ZhEK appeared. It is all the same that teetotal Azazello. Or Abadonna helping grandmothers crossing the road.

Skvalyzhny sensitively glanced under a table, but did not begin to argue with the Hippopotamus and continued:
- the Essence of my request is as follows: let us be called party of honest and decent people.

Voland grinned:
- Forgive me for importunity: you want to be called honest and decent or to become them? However, this question not in my competence, it is rather for the Hippopotamus. The request is rejected.

- I, by the way, too in this party registered, - the voice from - under a table was heard. - And personally this nickname well does not confuse me at all. Here - the Cat got out outside and sat down on a stool. - Here, I can show - the certificate. The member of executive committee across the Saratov region.

- And how you got to these swindlers? - Voland took an interest. - Showed focus how to make money from air?
- Well, they and without me well are able to do it. I to them gave a valuable advice.
- And what, allow to be curious? To expand Moscow three times?

The cat modestly looked down.
- you Will desire to joke, Messir. I to them advised to rename all the werewolves in shoulder straps. Well what their back would be not so obviously visible. And canines will show that - and let`s ransack across Moscow, food from guest workers to look for yes my girlfriends on the panel to shake.

- Surprisingly, but fact. The werewolf renames werewolves, - Voland was surprised. - However, we distracted. Let`s listen to the second request of the citizen - the chief of condominium.

Ivan Fedorovich Skvalyzhny cleared the throat and began to state the second request:
- You see I work the chairman of election commission part-time. Also I observe total absence of a right choice at voters. It is necessary to correct them, um , behavior all the time. Whether it is impossible to make so that on their elections was not at all. Only disturb - are pushed, call different bad words.

- Who was not?
- Well, these most, voters.
- I not really understand your passage, - Voland with irritation told. - Elections without voter - all the same that fish soup without fish.

- So all the same, mister Voland, they solve nothing. Here we have a President, let him also solve.
- But then rises a question of the choice of the president!

- And here in it an essence of my third request. Make me, mister Voland, the President of the Russian Federation, - a low and insinuating voice asked Ivan Fedorovich. - To me so bothered to work as the house manager! And I will cope, I am capable. You can, all of you can, I know.

The cat slipped under a table again. From there only reached: ooh, ooh, ooh.

But Voland remained is serious:
- Yes, it is necessary to recognize that a request your unusual. From the chief of condominium - at once in presidents. Even Kaligula`s horse could envy such career.

- And what here it? Here at us one mechanic became a governor at once. Work, almost same. To put the clamps more feasibly.
- Who knows, as the nobility However, I will be able to help you. Azazello!

The mirror hanging over a fireplace suddenly dimmed, and the demon of the desert right there jumped out of it.
- I Listen to you, Messir.
- Azazello, be kind, prepare the decree on appointment of the citizen Skvalyzhny to the Russian President`s position.

- For whose the decree, Messir will be the signature?
- Behind yours, Azazello, behind yours. To me somehow not from a hand to sign such important papers.

- I obey, Messir. - Azazello put a hand in a fireplace, got a leaf of a stamped paper from there and began to read loudly and solemnly the text. - Decree. To appoint the chief of condominium of the house number 9 on Novotulskaya Street Ivan Fedorovich Skvalyzhny Prezidentom of the Russian Federation from now on. Signature: IO of Voland Azazello.

The cat under a table already rolled and howled we howl:
- What here to waste time on trifles, give not Ivan, but Ioann at once.
- Agrees. I correct. - Azazello corrected a name in the decree and solemnly handed paper to Skvalyzhny.

That stood and perplexed smiled.
- And where now to me with it?

Azazello reflected:
- And directly to the Kremlin. Through Borovitsky gate.
- And if not to pass me? - plaintively Ivan - Ioann Fedorovich asked.

- Well then you come once again, we will think up something, - Voland interfered with the played farce. - Azazello, see off the guest. Also it is time, it is time to have dinner. Break.