What to do if the child feels fears?
can be told About many children`s problems: “Will outgrow!“ With fears the situation is at all not so consolatory. The child grows, and fears grow together with him. At the kid the horizons are more and more broadened, the imagination, the imagination and therefore he realizes more and more those dangers which trap him in life develops. But we will not tell
about extremes, absence of guarding fear involves lack of sense of danger, care. Parents of such children protect children that there was nothing irreparable, and experience not less disorders, than parents of little cowards.
Any fears of children demand from parents of the attentive and tactful relation. If your child is afraid to fall asleep in the dark or to remain one in the room, it is impossible to subject him to “hardening“ at all and to lock one in the dark room, “that got used“. In this case it will not get rid of the fear, and will only get new fears or other frustration.
Removal of children`s fear when it arises, in a huge measure depends on as far as parents manage to calm the child, to return it composure; as far as parents understand the kid and as treat his fears. It is necessary to create such situation in a family that children understood: they without ceremony can tell about everything that frightened them. And they will make it only if are not afraid of parents, and will feel that those do not condemn them, and understand. Telling about the injuring event, the child removes it from himself, doing far and foggy, muffling perception brightness.
The fresh injuring event can be beaten. For example, if the child appeared incidentally in the dark room and was frightened, games in “Hide-and-seek“ or “Blind-man`s-buff“ well will help.
The game “Hide-and-seek“, thus, allows to remove fears of darkness, loneliness, the closed space. In advance places where it is impossible to hide make a reservation. Then the light is turned off, there is only a night lamp. The leader bypasses the apartment with comic threats to hiding. Hiding sit in the dark and try to give nothing themselves. It is better when the child becomes a leader at once, it allows it to overcome fear and indecision. Good results can achieve when the leading adults “give up“, without having found the hiding child.
The game “blind-man`s-buff“ helps the child to learn to perceive darkness not only as a danger source, but as the game territory.
Very much use of “glove“ dolls helps to win back fears. Play with the child in “terrible“, let he “will rescue“ a zaychishka or a tiger cub from dangers, will advise as to it to become more courageous. Thus, through game the child will be able to understand how most to struggle with the unpleasant, preventing to live feeling. To explain to the child that he can behave now as the courageous hero, it is not necessary at all, let understanding will happen at the metaphorical level of game.
Drawing of fears also helps to reduce their intensity. It is possible to combine fright drawing with the composition of the tale of it. The end of the fairy tale it is possible to vary, change, think out several endings: for example, to find to fear of friends who will help it to change and stop being terrible. A series of the received drawings (displaying dynamics of change of fear) with success can become the filmstrip if to connect drawings among themselves. Each display with explanations will increase a distance between the kid and his fear.
The fear peculiar I will increase, it is necessary to distinguish from neurosises and persuasive states when it is not possible to cope by the family forces. At neurosis or a mental disease of experience of fear differ from normal fears in the special brightness, a syuzhetnost. They, as a rule, are followed by heartbeat, perspiration, a fever, feeling of heat, sleep disorders, appetite. The strong concern and the alarm sometimes reaching degree of horror, panic are characteristic of them. At neurotic fears the child becomes more passive, does not aspire to knowledge of new, goes to the problems. In these cases the fear loses function of useful, adaptive emotion and indicates powerlessness, loss of self-confidence, bears dezadaptivny function.