And of what your children will accuse you?If where - that is ideal parents, then we never learn about them. About ideal and just good parents, even it is somehow not accepted to speak. Even Tsvetaeva in the memoirs it is unostentatious as it seemed to her, podshpilivat the mother, reproaching with it it is obvious - stronger love to the younger daughter, and veiled - misunderstanding of poetic gift senior.
to Abuse parents, especially mothers, became a good form in recent years. What to abuse for - it any more not an essence is important. Mothers did not pay attention to someone, building the career, private life, communism or being engaged still in a heap useless, from the point of view of the offended child, things. “I had no mother“, “I was not loved“, “to me did not give the rest of caress“, “did not pay attention to me“, “I was necessary to nobody“, “all had no time for me“ etc. - it is yet not the complete list of claims to mothers. Especially to mothers.
Someone was stuffed, on the contrary, with music, English, chess, soccer, drawing, clever books. Tried to enclose all and to the maximum. What was not at. Filtered palsy-walsy that the child did not get to the bad company. Here the list of claims in a root changes: “I had no childhood“, “me deprived of communication with peers“, “to me did not allow to play“, “I was abused for the two“, “wanted to make the child prodigy of me“. And it again to them, mothers. All this they.
Under special article parents rather poor are accused. Those that did not go to business trips abroad and did not bring exotic erasers with a lemon smell, jeans and a chewing gum in bright pieces of paper from there. Such parents had no giving and the car, they had just a work and just a salary. Here especially will get to single mothers. “I wore hand-downs“, “I had no beautiful things“, “to me never bought“, “in a class I did not have one“, “I was not given pocket money“, “my ancestors - scoops and losers“ etc.
Are guilty, guilty, guilty... Are guilty that did not give “good“ start. That in time did not make out talent. In what was not provided with communication in the necessary circles. In what was created by problems with socialization. That grew a heap of complexes. That it was died not as it developed in dreams. That if not they, parents, then...
Adults accuse. Clever, independent, strong, healthy, educated.
I do not speak about families of alcoholics where no day did without scandals and a beating, all money was spent on drink, and children were selected and fed up by neighbors, and the militia, and further - the distributor, children`s home caught then, and then as will go. There all in a different way. The speech about the ordinariest families. Probably, because everyones also gained popularity “Mother! Do not read!“, “Bury me behind a plinth“ and other plaintive literature. Here nobody “Misters Golovlev“, either Gorky`s “Childhood“, or notorious excite Kabanikh! I do not even want about Turgenev “Fathers and children“ here... And these books, actually, about the same are that all unfortunate families are unhappy in own way, and further on a situation. And here - and discussions in blogs, both screen versions, and circulations, and awards, and responses - reviews.
From where? Why? Whether only that far, almost abstract Kabanikh will not reach from the XIX century any more, and scandals of the overdriven mother and grandmother - schizophrenics - it is modern, very famous and is so close? And this proximity so clings the reader?
The whole generation of unfortunate children grew. Children of war were not as unfortunate as those who did not get chewing gum and jeans in whom shifted music and chess or to whom allowed to drive carelessly a ball in the yard. Huge generation which does not know now what to do already with own children. What to stuff them with how to provide them freedom how many to them to give money and what, in general, is necessary for them for happiness?
One my friend so answered claims to the adult son:
- Of course, we with mother hate you. We then also gave birth to you - to spoil to you life. All of us harmed these years you and dreamed how all of us will defile to you the future. It is good that you understood it. And when something happens to you, remember that we to you enemies, and do not address us - we will want to make to you even worse. And years through 20 - well, suddenly, we will live? - write to us what your children accused you of?
And in a consolation all parents need to be told only one: you love your grandsons because they will revenge your children. However, in which there is a share of sad - a sad joke. And maybe, it happens improbable and the fashion to blame parents will pass by itself? I am a mother, and I very much hope for it.