From where bad husbands undertake?
Many heard plaintive stories from the girlfriends what husband at them nonideal and though what groom was … Both paid attention, and showed care, and looked after so that to all girlfriends on envy. And here ceased Mendelssohn`s march, and the husband in all beauty proved to be, so to speak, from category of the prince passed into category of the king.
What happened to it? Why you once thought that you are ready to live all life with it, and now you are periodically visited by thoughts of divorce?
And no transformation existed, women can idealize love and the relations. If the woman is in love, then she thinks not rationally, and through a prism of feelings, perceives the partner such what to it would like to see him. And when euphoria passes and the relations face life, here it seems to the woman as if everything changed.
At the time of “exposure“ of the prince there are many divorces when the young family collapses, calling the banal reason - “did not get on together“. It is known that the first years of marriage - the most difficult: grinding in, recognition of each other, knowledge of, general life...
In such situation two ways:
1. To divorce, having eaten the husband all nerves for not come true fairy tale.
2. To accept the real reality and to be engaged in creation of a strong family.
It is easy to establish a family, and to keep here - test. At the beginning of the relations of steam has bright feelings, emotions. Over time emotions abate, and many, without experiencing their all-consuming inflow, bury love, saying that the partner not that, feelings passed.
It is necessary to understand initially that in the relations it is always impossible to test euphoria and inflow of hormones, the organism will not sustain such tension. The family is something more serious, than the first love. And if fireworks of feelings were replaced by monotony, it does not mean that the love passed. More likely, the relations passed to the following round of development. It is impossible to live always feeling of a holiday.
It seems to you that the partner is obliged to make you happy and when expectations are not met, the ideal image of darling begins to die away. To avoid disappointment, it is necessary to know:
1. If you look for shortcomings of the partner, you will always find them and vice versa. Be accented on merits of the spouse.
2. It is necessary to give to an image romanticism, but do not idealize the person that then there was no bitter disappointment. Do not exist ideal heroes!
3. Do not shift responsibility for family happiness to male shoulders. To silly hope that some person will appear and will make happy you. To find happiness, it is necessary also most to work. It does not mean that only the woman has to be responsible for family happiness. Family happiness depends from not on one person, and on both spouses.
4. Knowing that there are no ideal people, initially for yourself decide what shortcomings you will treat loyally. It is important to solve it even before creation of a family. If you begin to change the man, it can be apprehended as violence over character. Men do not transfer when they are criticized or try to change. It is difficult to change the adult created as the identity of the person.
Each person - the egoist by nature. If partners moderate the egoism, then it will give to the relations inflow of new forces. When care for the person, pay him attention, caress the kind word - it gives forces, and offenses leave. Be happy!