How to become the beloved daughter-in-law?
Any girl dream to marry: it is so put by the nature. And when darling proposes marriage, inevitably there comes time when it is necessary to meet his parents.
In fact it is absolutely foreign people, but you love their son, so, to you it has to be important that from first minutes of acquaintance about you there was a good impression.
It is necessary to warn parents about acquaintance in advance, it is desirable not in one or two days, and it is better - at least in a week or even in a month. Parents of your future husband, especially mother, have to realize that their son became an adult that he is considered with their time and tranquility, otherwise at best will run into spiteful views, in the worst - before your nose will close a door and will ignore your presence all the time.
When we with the husband decided to get married, he in two months declared to parents that he intends to arrive home with the bride. Waited for us. Laid a table in the hall, there arrived the brother with the sister of future husband, everything was grandly and nobly. However I noticed critical views of the mother-in-law at once.
The piece to me in a throat did not climb, I felt dickey, my attempt to get into conversation was stopped at once as soon as I decided to notice that my Kolya does not drink. “I not you ask, and the son“, - the father-in-law told, spilling wine on glasses and did not even look at me. I became silent and opened a mouth when asked me questions. I, naturally, was very offended, is even offended, but soon understood that the father-in-law was absolutely right, and it is better for future daughter-in-law to keep silent for her benefit.
Marrying, never count on provided life at the expense of parents. Do not take offense and do not make indicative rows if you wanted a dress for 50000 rubles, and the groom`s parents (misers!) allocated five times less. It is their money, and this their right. I know a case when the wedding fell apart from - for the fact that the bride wanted a wedding at prestigious restaurant, and parents chose good, but not absolutely known. This girl hardly sometime will understand that happiness family does not depend at all on at what restaurant or cafe the wedding what was invited the photographer ceased and what number of guests was on a celebration.
After a wedding many curious are interested in details of wedding ceremony. Answer evasively, do not focus attention on that how many gifts and from whom received, do not tell all girlfriends to what family you got: to you still early to judge. Any precipitate bad word will return to you surely. You should not be praised too especially - in - the first, indecently, in - the second, can envy, and it will not lead to good too.
Never you judge the mother-in-law categorically even if she is not pleasant to you at all. “Your mother is not able to iron shirts at all“, - one of my familiar to the husband told and razutyuzhit arrows. “Not your business, so is pleasant to me more“, - the young husband answered, pulled out from hands narrowed a shirt and returned everything on the places. Young people did not talk the whole day, reconciled only after the wife asked forgiveness. Thank God, it had enough mind. And if the wife ironed shirt no comments, I am sure, the husband just would not notice it how he did not notice before when mother ironed his shirts.
If you want that your husband was happy with the food cooked by you, do not scorn opinion of the mother-in-law. Prepare as trained the mother-in-law, at the same time gradually and unostentatiously introducing the tastes. When I the first time served pelmeni on a table, my husband was very surprised that pelmeni are eaten sometimes without broth. “Mother before to mold pelmeni, put to cook a stone, then we ate pelmeni with this broth. I so got used“, - he explained. “Anything there is no difficult here“, - I answered and put on fire a pan with a stone. In an hour transparent fragrant broth was ready, and my husband was satisfied with a dinner, washed all the dishes and even a floor in kitchen. Here such force at maternal food.
When you go on a visit to the husband`s parents, to show consideration very much for appearance of the promised. There are mothers-in-law who will tell directly: “And why my son has a wrinkled shirt or a sock with a hole?“ Others will address the son: “Give, the sonny, I to you will sew a button or I will wash a jacket“. The third will notice as if accidentally: “This sweater to you does not go, I in the market saw yesterday just that which will suit you, the sonny“.
Anyway the mother-in-law addresses not the son, and the daughter-in-law, and - where directly and where indirectly - reminds her of her duties. At the same time it is not necessary to be let in debate, proving that the shirt was rumpled under a jacket, and the sock tore before your threshold, it is not necessary to arrange hysterics and to leave in a huff, it is not necessary to state to the husband what mother at it. Keep silent better or translate tension for fun, and for yourself draw the correct conclusion.
Of course, there are such wicked creatures that get both day, and night, then just keep at with it newly made relatives. There will pass time, and any mother, seeing that her son is happy and happy, will fall in love with both the daughter-in-law, and the devil.
Do not complain of the mother-in-law husband at all. The maternal love is the strongest on light, and rare mother is capable to value objectively the child according to the merits. Therefore when you complain of the husband, his mother usually thinks: “Itself not the mistress, for days on end and so with girlfriends by phone you stir“. When my mother-in-law saw that I am upset with something, she carefully was interested at me in the reason. I usually answered that the head hurts or that badly I feel, got it together and talked to the mother-in-law friendly, treated her, drank with it tea, stirred with it about everything, except the relations in a family. The mother-in-law left happy, I calmed down a little, and in the evening we with the husband were reconciled, and everything fell into place.
And the last. Whether it is necessary to call the husband`s parents mother and the father? I consider that your future relatives have to resolve this issue. If parents want to become for you mother and the father, then try to overcome yourself. Believe, it is unusual to mother-in-law to hear from foreign person “mother“ too, but you want to yourself happiness, and it is one of components of this illusive noun.