What is crisis 3 - x years?
Crisis 3 - x or age of obstinacy
Crises of development are years rather short (of several months to go - yes - two) the periods in lives during which the person considerably changes, a podnima - etsyatsya on a new vital step. Crises happen not only in the childhood (1 year, 3 years, 7 years, 13 years), but also at adult age as the identity of the person develops - sya continuously.
Accustoming to kindergarten coincides with the crisis period in mental development of the child. By three years parents begin to notice serious changes in the child, he becomes stubborn, whimsical, foolish. The affection smile on faces of parents is replaced by expression of puzzlement, confusion and some irritation. Many do not know what occurs at this time very important for re - a benka mental process:
this first bright expression of the “I“, it it popyt - independently to move away from mother, to extend psychological “umbilical cord“, to learn to do a lot of things most and to somehow solve the problems.
On the way to crisis are present accurate signs:
- a keen interest in the image in a mirror;
- the child is puzzled with the appearance, is interested how it looks in the opinion of others.
Girls have an interest in dresses; boys begin to show concern in the success, for example, in designing. Sharply the re - is girut on failure.
Crisis of three years is among sharp. The child is uncontrollable, falls into rage. The behavior almost does not give in to correction. The period is difficult both for the adult, and for the child. Symptoms are called semizvezdiy crisis of 3 years.
1. Negativism - reaction not on contents of the proposal of adults, and on the fact that it goes from adults. Aspiration to make on the contrary, even contrary to sobstven - to Nome to desire.
2. Obstinacy - the child insists on something not because wants, and on - to the fact that he demanded it, he is connected by the initial decision. In fact, the child demands that people around reckoned with him as with the personality.
3. Obstinacy - it is impersonal, directed against norms of education, a way of life which developed to 3 - x years.
4. Willfulness - seeks to do everything. It is a tendency to independently - st; to suppress it, means to generate at the child doubt in own forces and a cart - mozhnost.
5. The protest - revolt - the child is at war about people around - mi, at the continuous conflict with them.
6. The depreciation symptom - is shown that the child begins to swear, tease and call parents.
7. Despotism - the child forces parents to do everything that he demands. He finds thousands of ways to show the power over others. In fact is an aspiration to return to that state of bliss of infancy when - his zhdy desire was granted. In relation to younger sisters and brothers despo - the tizm is shown as jealousy.
Parents should not be frightened jokes of course of crisis, do not wipe it at all - a tsatelny indicator. On the contrary, bright manifestation of the child in self-affirmation in new age quality says that in its mentality there were all increased - tny new growths for further development of his personality and adaptive spo - sobnost.
I, on the contrary, the external beskrizisnost creating wellbeing illusion can be deceptive, demonstrate that in development of the child not about - izoshlo the corresponding age changes.
Thus, it is not necessary to be frightened crisis manifestations, the misunderstanding problems arising at this time at parents are dangerous. whether
Is possible, working competently, to soften crisis manifestations?
How to help the child to leave it, without having fixed in soul negative kachest - va: the obstinacy is an extreme extent of manifestation of will, and will - quality, necessary for the child; a capriciousness - demonstration of own importance for others, feeling of the “I“; egoism - in a healthy look feeling own DOS - sacraments; aggression - an extreme form of feeling of self-defense;
isolation - not - an adequate form of manifestation of healthy care, that is necessary for a survival in the society of qualities. The child has to recover from crisis with a polo set - zhitelny qualities. The main task of parents and teachers - not to allow to a zakrepla - a niya of their extreme manifestations.
What parents need to know about children`s obstinacy and a capriciousness?
* the Period of obstinacy and a capriciousness begins approximately from 18 months.
* As a rule, this phase comes to an end by 3,5 - 4. Casual attacks of obstinacy at more advanced age - too a thing quite normal.
* The peak of obstinacy is necessary on 2. 5 - 3 years of life.
* Boys go obstinate stronger, than girls.
* Girls are capricious more often than boys.
* During the crisis period attacks of obstinacy and a capriciousness happen at children on 5 times a day. At some - to 19 times!
* If children on reaching 4 years still continue to go obstinate often and - to priznichat, then most likely it is about the “fixed“ obstinacy, isterich - Nosta as convenient ways of a manipulation the child the parents. Most often it is result of conciliatory behavior of the parents who gave in to pressing from the child, it is frequent for the sake of the tranquility.
* is not clear Yet who upryamy, - parents, all day which is going on: “You are a dale - wives …, you are obliged …, it is necessary for you …“, or the child who is persistently protesting about - tiv “is obliged“, against “has to“, at least owing to the fact that it it “has to“ just cannot execute yet.
It did not ripen to our many requirements so far, it is roofing felt - to small boring …
What parents can make?
* do not attach great value to obstinacy and a capriciousness. Accept to a sva - a deniye an attack, but not really worry for the child.
* during an attack remain a row, let to it know that you understand it.
* do not try to inspire something in the child at this time is bespolez - but. The abuse does not make sense, slaps will even stronger excite.
* In behavior with the child be persistent. If you told “no“, ostavay - tes further at this opinion.
* do not give up even then when the attack at the child proceeds in obshchestven - number the place. Most often one helps only - to take him by hand and to take away.
* demands Hysteria and a capriciousness the audience, do not resort to the help on - third-party: “Look what bad girl, ouch - yay - yay!“ Only it it is also necessary for the child.
* Try to use cunning: “Oh, what I have an interesting toy (the book, a feature etc.) !
, “And what it there behind a window of a raven does?“ - the similar distracting maneuvers will intrigue the capricious child, he will calm down.
to Art to get on with the child it is necessary to study, here will help you a forfeit - a ziya, humour and infinite patience. Do not allow anger to seize you. Whether the anger - shat the person of reason. Overcome its once, and in following you it is already easier bu - is put to constrain it, and then at all only sympathy and desire to help the kid during the difficult period of his life will lodge in soul. Who knows what we will be in old age (passing the next crises)? Whether ours will want, then already the adult, the child to understand and help us with our not relics?