Rus Articles Journal

Conversation with soul in a whisper.

Go home. Nothing pleases many days around. I come into an entrance, I open a door and here, I at home. Without undressing I fall on a sofa, I close eyes. Still an instant, and I already smoke. Does not getting hungry at all. I drink bitter coffee. The favourite cat came, sat down nearby and faithfully looks in the face. Wild depression. Though, there are still a work and loneliness. So there passes my life. Having come home, I put a teapot, I begin to smoke a cigarette, I lay down on a bed, I close eyes, I drink coffee. I open eyes, pupils, from bright light are narrowed. Hopelessness, hopelessness and loneliness. Crying. Once again the depression, desire to find it, that who will put all my thoughts into place. I just want to love also all. I just want to love it. Such feeling that I die, all as in the dark as a voice which was strained from pain. Everything left. Do not ask me why. I was tired to answer, I should not advise anything, I listened to everything that is possible already. The depression just absorbed me with the head, I am not able to get out of it. I need it. He can understand me. I ask, understand me

of the Tear with a bitter stream was hit on cheeks. Yes, I pay and I suffer and I am one. More precisely not, I not lonely, I am just one. Around there are a lot of them, people, they know me, they shake to me hands, and having answered their handshake, I cannot remember who they are, I just as on an automatic pilot shake them hands in reply and I squint from light of their eyes. In total as on a car the pilot. There were reflexes. To go, breathe, sleep, eat, to live Though it is impossible to call it life, help me to understand me, me badly just without attention though if to ponder, I do not know that it is necessary for me. I do not know even it, help me to understand it. I just do not want to live any more, everything left. Life and happiness after it left, I will not return them. I just do not know what to do to me. I was tired. To live. You me can help

? To me just already in any way. I forgot everything and when I remember, it is simple to eat feeling that I will faint and I will never leave this state. I just will enter a coma soon and I will remain in it forever. I was tired to live. I was simply tired. As God that was tired to love us. But I am not a God, and I do not seek to be him, understand, communication, - it is the test whether you will be pleasant to the person or not, it is just check, I know that you will tell me, - get off your moral high horse!!! But I will not answer. I do not know that to answer you, I just forgot to be simpler, teach me to it. I will not be able just to live. You do not even represent as it to live, here so, understand, I live work. I have no place to go more. Only home. Sunday (I have a day off), I do not know what I will do on Sunday. Again one? I just cannot be already there one, I was simply tired. On Monday again work. And again new week. And again evening, I come home and blindly I drink coffee and I listen to silence.