The management on the way fortunately: how to define requirements?
Any problem or the intra personal conflict consist in a contradiction between the existing requirements and a condition of helplessness which disturbs satisfaction of these requirements. What the person has requirements?
the Most powerful are basic requirements, without what the person cannot live. Physiological requirements and social requirements concern to them. Traditionally refer the requirements connected with a physical survival to physiological requirements:
- need for water;
- in food;
- in heat;
- in a dream;
- in oxygen.
Also the person from the moment of the birth does not survive if such social requirements as need for safety, for love, for acceptance are not satisfied. If the baby receives only food and heat, but at the same time remains without physical contact, without communication, without love, then he perishes.
Basic needs of the child about one year:
- comfort - heat, absence of pain;
During this period at the child such important quality for further healthy development of the relations with surrounding people as trust to the world, under one condition is formed: if he has satisfaction of the basic requirements.
If mother, the most important and darling in his life which means to him practically everything leaves the child for a long time one, shows to it indifference, rejection, then it forms such living position which says to it that nobody can be trusted, and it is insufficiently good in order that it was loved. The fear of rejection if subsequently not to work with it, remains for the rest of life, and the person with anybody cannot create the harmonious loving relations.
Besides basic needs, at us exists about 20 more - ti the most different requirements. Any of unsatisfied requirements develops into sufferings and a problem sooner or later if in time not to satisfy it.
Pay attention that in the list of requirements there are no material things, what can be bought, touched, earned. Often we confuse need which is had quality of need, with the desires:
- I want expensive foreign car to feel well;
- I want the house on the island in the ocean;
- I want a lot of money.
The desire not always coincides with requirement.
The girl writes the psychologist: “I want to live in a spacious country house. And until recently thought that I have in it a requirement. I represented myself as I write the next book one in the big house and I look from a window at the blossoming garden. At the same time I sat in front of the computer one in the apartment and wrote the next text, looking at the blossoming apple-tree with which I gather every fall apples directly from a balcony. In what my requirement if I have all this directly here and now?
When continued research, understood that the house is only a symbol, attribute which existence is considered a sign of a solvency and success. It was important for me that I was respected, recognized me successful and independent. Then the image of the house is a need for independence and recognition“.
Further what it is necessary to understand, is to share so-called terminal and tool requirements.
Terminal requirements are needs of the highest, or final (terminal), about, answering a question: what I want to be? I want to be: happy, healthy, free, independent etc.
Tool requirements are requirements - means for achievement of terminal requirements. Answer a question: for what? For what to you to study well? For what to you the higher education? For what to you it is a lot of money? Etc.
Therefore the following stage of work on the way fortunately consists in research of the requirements. For this purpose it is necessary to answer the following questions in detail:
What I want to have?
For what to me it?
What I will receive if I have it?
What I want to be?
what I need actually?
What it is really necessary for me?
In what my real requirement?
What my tool requirements?
What my terminal requirements?
Now when you have a developed description of requirements, try to determine by one - two words your requirements. This work will help you to realize them and to formulate and by that to determine the further area of work by formation on the Way of Happiness.