Why we envy?
Envy - a mixed feeling. To show it publicly - approximately how to be picked a nose or to be scratched, that is it is indecent. But nevertheless, remaining alone with itself, we often frenziedly begin to comb our wound, that is to envy actively, then to be angry with object of envy, to be angry with ourselves that we envy and so on.
As we are adults, not to recognize that we envy - senselessly. It how not to recognize that people each other in large quantities change or is thrown by pieces of paper by ballot boxes - differently from where there are so much broken hearts and garbage on streets. However, some envy so strongly that they cannot even restrain not to show it: for example, to tell some muck depreciating achievements of another, or to make something bad to appease a little envying itch. About such then speak with contempt and look down, and those who are envied feel mixed sense of superiority and discomfort.
So, we envy - secretly or obviously, to a greater or lesser extent. A question first - to what?
In - the first, objects of our envy: we just envy those who are the closest to us. I, for example, do not envy Natalya Vodianova who was a shop assistant of vegetables from a tray in the Russian remote place, and became the wife of the prince, mother of three children, model and so on. But I envy the neigbour at whom the three times removed aunt died and left to her in inheritance as now speak, the “killed“ gostinka. I do not envy Anastasia Volochkova who does photoshoots on Maldives, but I envy the schoolmate who posts the photos from Turkey of Vkontaktike. I do not envy Pamela Anderson who is considered sex - a bomb, but I envy the colleague because that can eat cakes for breakfast, a lunch and a dinner, and at the same time never to get fat. I do not envy Richard Branson who has several own islands, and I envy the acquaintance who went to round-the-world travel.
My friend Ira fatally envied the former employee who got a job the petty state official for a salary in one and a half thousand hryvnias: “It has a work from nine to five and official registration now!“ - Ira at me on a shoulder cried. No diamonds of Paris Hilton cause in her either rage, or even irritation, and the cheap salary and an accurate operating mode of the acquaintance brought it to the real hysterics.
And therefore there is a question second, and it main - why we envy the neigbour - the relative - the schoolmate, but not the far star at whom all it is much bigger, than at us with the neigbour combined. Of course, because the far star - for us the mythical character, and her diamonds - apartments and islands - something from the sphere intangible, so, almost nonexistent. Unlike achievements of people whom we consider equal to (and it is even worse than some) and who, in distinguish from us have that as it seems to us, it is more necessary to us.
And question third: how to fight against it? It seems that envy - bad feeling, destructive. But actually, it is the call showing the direction in which we should work on ourselves. It is not Turkey, not in a gostinka and not in a salary with fixed working hours - and in our attitude towards. When we envy, we first of all understand that we lack any qualities - or to us it seems that is not enough. Wuma, to get good job? Beauty successfully to marry? Enterprise to earn money? Or first of all love to and correct arrangement of priorities?
If to look narrowly, behind each situation which causes in us irritation and envy there is our own powerlessness and treachery of. The girlfriend Ira who envied the state position of the former colleague was angry because she could not believe in herself, pochukhatsya and escape from that bog in which it was. My schoolmate who regularly have a rest abroad put above all own interests, but not strangers as it was done by me - and therefore always found an opportunity to have a rest. I envy the neigbour who happily came a fortune because as I the small child, consider that all toys in the world have to be mine. And I abuse myself for weak will because I cannot limit myself in sweet and high-calorie while others can eat cakes beyond all bounds.
Thus, it is senseless to fight against envy: ignoring it and including itself bad for the fact that you test it - only to exhaust problems inside. And the hidden envy can develop into aggression, irritability or anger - what is even worse.
But there are also good news! It is possible to derive from own envy benefit because it is a fine marker of what it is necessary to look narrowly in himself at and over what it is worth working still. And then, it is sure, you every day will envy less and less.