To walk with death on life of
Recently I found in the archive curious record in the form of the small story in which described the impressions about acquaintance to the man and the first kiss. Agree, to plunge into documentary recorded memoirs of more than fifteen-year prescription with pleasure and sadly. Whether many have them? In memory - yes, but written on paper imprinted thoughts and feelings of that far girl, but not today`s woman making a picture of scraps of vague memoirs.
It as a meeting with by itself years later. Also it seems that memory returns precious minutes of the first and disturbing experience, and you anew endure them …
Why we are afraid of death? We are afraid that all our experience, all our memory will disappear and there will be no nothing left that would help us to identify itself as the personality. Communication with relatives and darlings will break, and there will be a loneliness. We are afraid that ours I will cease to exist as understanding of.
Having read memoirs and having sat several minutes in silence, I suddenly made surprising discovery. Yes, it was curious to remember that I felt when I was 18 years old; details which were forgotten; stereotypes only the being learning the world of men … But very quickly the feeling of dispassionateness and even indifference to this experience came. It was with me, it laid the foundation of my behavior with an opposite sex - but it had no value now, for mature Me. And will not have any more. Because now everything is much more interesting, mnogogranny and nasyshchenny. Fuller and more valuable experience which too will lose in due time the importance blocked bridges of memory.
Whether it will turn out so that, having left the physical body, after the first shock of extra corporal experience, our mortal life will lose the importance because before us such world from which really will take breath will open! What sense to cherish the past if the present excites imagination? Understanding of will remain, understanding of at the moment.
Psychologists say that we die every minute, but we do not trace it. Remember that you were five years old. Cells of your body were updated for a long time, the outlook and attitude was cardinally replaced, the circle of acquaintances and friends exchanged, and even you already look at the relatives and the family in a different way. You - the five-years period does not exist more! Whether you regret for it? Whether you test melancholy and loneliness? Except for clinical cases - no.
Why we are afraid to lose friends and relatives? We so much already lost them! But our fear is warmed up by our ignorance. Reading or listening to news about tragic death of people, we are terrified only because we represent on their place the relatives - that if it happened to them?
For this reason death in our imagination - the certain evil phenomenon punishing extrajudicially. “The Lord takes away good people early“ - what popular belief! But people support him, and, apparently, it becomes clear to me why.
Nobody is engaged in the death nature. There is a statistics how many people die in accidents daily, how many from diseases, how many babies. This statistics - only a set of figures which reflect population, but not the reason in any way. Why all these people die? What brought the person on that road on which he got under the wheels? What served as the reason - the initial reason - death from cancer? Why such long-awaited baby died? Nobody will give you the answer to these questions because there is no explanation for the reasons and nobody it, I repeat, is engaged, at least, at the state level.
I long time was afraid to approach this question, being guided by approach “don`t trouble trouble until trouble troubles you“. The death seemed a phenomenon mystical and artful. It how to go at night to a cemetery. Reason you understand that to be afraid of the dead there is no sense, and inside shudder at thought of such visit.
Then began to read literature on a subject, to talk to people, to observe. An opportunity to investigate each case of death began to appear. No to speak about statistics still early, but it is possible to tell safely that the death - does not happen casual. Also, as well as any accident, death is the end of a long chain of the wrong actions of the one who died. As the Roman philosopher Seneca told: “People do not die, they slowly kill themselves“.
The essence of his statement becomes accepted in that case when we see that the person, for example, regularly smokes and therefore it is no wonder that will get once lung cancer from which safely and will die. Improper feeding, a way of life, the exhausting work, stresses - all this, it seems, can explain why we die. But how to explain accidents and accidents, “casual“ death? And there are still death silly …
the writer Thornton Wilder has very interesting work about predefiniteness of death - “The bridge of the king Ludovic Sviaty“. It seems, it was the first classic who through artistic images tried to show that the death does not happen casual. Work plot in brief: on the twentieth of July, 1714 in Peru the bridge failed, having dumped in an abyss of five travelers. Accident extraordinary struck Peruvians: the bridge of the king Ludovic Sviaty seemed something firm, existing eternally. But though all were shocked, only one person, the brother Yuniper, the red monk - the Franciscan who incidentally appeared the witness of accident saw a certain Plan in this tragedy. Why these five? - it asked a question. Or our life is casual and then our death is casual, or both in life, and in our death the Plan is put. And the brother Yuniper made the decision to get into secret of lives of these five and to solve the reasons of their death. Further the description of life of the dead up to that day is developed as all of them appeared on the bridge.
The response of one reader is curious: “Interesting work. And you as consider why these five? In my opinion, the death of each of them was as it is impossible by the way both for them, and for their relatives. Life of these five already came to the end. Unless they had something ahead? I doubt. The death was the only logical conclusion for them, having relieved them of infinite tortures, and to their relatives let know what earlier they did not understand, to estimate what was not appreciated earlier“.
Being an unwanted guest in our daily occurrence, death always - the Envoy. Nobody dies just like that, without the reason and the purpose. I will tell about two cases from the supervision.
In the spring the city in which I live shook the case told by the local newspaper: 4 - the summer boy was killed by the icicle which fell from a roof. While the boy walked with the father. As always, in the newspaper only the dry facts plus what is a grief for parents. So it turned out that one of my clients was the colleague of heart-broken mother. When I started conversation with the client, she reluctantly told (itself being in a dejectedness) that mother with the father regularly drank, and that day the father on walk was drunk too. Perhaps, it is necessary only to understand that for the child it is the best exit - what person what destiny such parents will give it? For them his death - a signal that it is necessary to change a way of life, differently they will ruin not only themselves, but also others.
Other case. At the acquaintance who only gave birth to the child the husband died in a car accident. Were married year, took the apartment in a mortgage. After me it was succeeded to talk to the girl, and also to the people knowing this couple. The husband with friends owned underground casinos, trying to earn big money. He very much was tired what he repeatedly spoke to the wife about. But all needed money, money big to live not worse than others. Interestingly, as the boy, and the young man did not die at once, and felled into a coma.
The person in a coma always has a choice - to leave or return. In either case they chose to leave, thereby having let know people close to them what to live As offered them, their souls do not want.
Many men are tired of this rhythm of life, but not because choose it but because the people and, in particular, wives surrounding them and girlfriends, demand - demand - demand. For the same reason teenagers finish life with suicide. The world was tired of excessive requirements, of greed, of egoism. False values force the person to neglect the health, to truly count forces (how many people take the wheel not slept or tired?) it is simple to ignore a self-preservation instinct.
Struck one case last winter. Near an arch of the house in which I live someone regularly parked the bus - the PAZ. Somehow, coming back home, I even at transition saw that the PAZ burns, and around really grandiose fire there are people and look, photograph. Stand close, without thinking that the bus can explode and all of them can die. Thirst for shows in the modern world became strong feelings of own safety. Happen explosion - and the local newspaper compassionately would report about the victims, the word without having mentioned that these people - the victims of own negligence.
On the place of the old woman with a braid it would be possible to take offense … with What investigations of the monk - the Franciscan ended with
? The brother Yuniper included all the supervision, reflections and conclusions in the book. The book caught sight to judges and was declared heretical, and her author publicly burned on the square.