Who is more important for the woman - the husband or the child?
When at the woman are born the child, she is entirely absorbed by this small being. Of course, some mothers are so anxious with loss of own appeal in the opinion of the husband that do not want to nurse the child (on this subject too constantly there are mass fights in the Network), and in general, subconsciously or obviously perceive the child as a hindrance in the relations with the husband.
Or, for example, there are mothers who do not refuse to themselves computer games, group sex (on Internet open spaces I read also it) or at once consign kids to grandmothers and the round-the-clock nurses. I heard even about an egregious example as one young family sent the child for a year to the house of the baby - well that the fifth year did not prevent parents - students to graduate from the institute.
Despite all monstrosity of such act, young mother can be understood: children, especially kids, occupy not that hundred, and it seems that all hundred fifty percent of time, attention and forces. Therefore it is no wonder that young mothers the depression known under the name postnatal visits, hysterics which all try to explain with hormones, and other unpleasant states which were endured by many who faced the baby in the house.
However the reason of these hysterics and depressions - not so physiological, but the most psychological property: many women are not ready that their life is entirely subordinated to other being now - exacting and at the same time such helpless.
Paradoxically, but at the same time many popular editions are advised young mothers not to go in cycles completely in the child, and to pay attention and to the husband - he, poor, cannot endure the wife`s inattention to himself when that is completely absorbed by comparative characteristics of brands of diapers, small bottles, analyses, creams and diathesis.
The Internet dazzles with complaints on both sides when wives complain of absence of the help with the child, and husbands - on constant claims of young mothers, absence of attention and direct statements of the wife “Yes, I love the child much more, than you“.
Often men follow the line of least resistance and just begin to vanish at work or even as one of participants of similar the Internet - discussions admitted, “aimlessly to wander about parks because there is no desire to go home to listen to reproaches of the wife“. Certainly, the tired wife after its arrival begins to row even stronger.
Any of the parties does not want to meet requirements of the partner, including itself offended. The vicious circle which sometimes comes to an end with divorce turns out.
Of course when the woman is busy by the helpless baby, care of whom occupies all her forces and time, councils from the “It Is Necessary also Pay Attention to the Husband“ series sound as mockery: as a rule, the woman is not able to pay attention even to herself while the husband`s life practically did not exchange. Well, unless approach to a bed with a rappberry of affection and stories to friends about the son - the daughter increased during a “beer“ sit-round gathering. At the same time men very much are proud of the fact that they work and earn money, forgetting that work, unlike the baby, comes to an end in six, she does not cry, is not ill, does not go into hysterics and does not ask constantly on handles, it is possible to chuck in it and, leaving office, it is simple to forget.
Of course to open this vicious circle of constant claims, it is necessary will make efforts. The most important, in my opinion, - not to treat education of children as to a feat which is difficult, dangerous and excessive. There is a mass of parents at whom with the birth of children life became only still nasyshchenny more interestingly. My opinion in this respect - those who complain that with the birth of children their life ended plainly and never lived.
And the second important council - it is necessary to involve fathers in education of children from the infancy to the maximum. Of course, many mothers are inclined not to trust the kid to anybody, considering that nobody will cope with leaving and education better, than they. But such approach is fraught with the above described discharge of the husband from education of the child - with all that it implies.
So if (ideally - a half) cares of the kid to charge part to the husband, then quiet and cheerful mother will have time and for herself, and, strangely enough, on the husband. And the answer to a question who is more important for the woman - the husband or the child sounds so: she is more important for the woman of everything, her state and mood.
And when it is happy and cheerful, her relatives are happy and healthy.