What three main questions which we have to set to ourselves
Are one parable:
“ There was a wise man and saw the person who protected something. The security guard asked the wise man:
- Who you are? Where you go? What for?
the Wise man was struck with these questions and asked:
- And how many to you pay here?
- Two banks of rice, - that answered.
- I will pay you four that you asked every day me questions: “Who do I am?, Where I go? and What for?“, - the wise man told“.
It is three main questions which I answer myself every time when I face the important choice to understand whether the present decision will promote my happiness.
Who I am?
I ask This question to myself to understand that or who now in me speaks. Often happens so that moves me not so my desires and requirements, and something imposed to me other people. These beliefs inspired in us since the childhood so strongly sit in the head that it is sometimes very difficult to distinguish who so thinks: you or your mother, for example. Such thoughts, beliefs, statements call in an introyektama geshtaltterapiya.
Not very long ago I wanted to have the abrupt jeep, and I was is ready to refuse to itself other requirements to postpone for purchase of this car. When I wondered why for me it is so important to have such car, understood that I just envy the successful friend who left the bank account and spent all the accumulation for implementation of the desire. But I never drove, and I have no requirement where - or to go by the privately owned vehicle! But I with pleasure go much and I ride a bicycle. In me told desire to have a certain attribute of success which I at that time did not feel, desire to seem, but not to be.
helps to return the Question “who do I am?“ to itself. And what I feel now when I am asked to make something that I simply do not want to do? Fear what will badly think of me, will condemn, will reject? What will I choose, to assert the rights and to take care of myself or to help another to the detriment of the interests? Whose life I live now, or others?
Is such disease as codependence which is that the person leads life of other person: feels for it, thinks for it, does for it … At the end of life they sum up the most sad result of the existence in this body on Earth: “I lived not the life“ …
Where I go?
I remember an episode from “Alice`s Adventures in Wonderland“ of Lewis Carroll when it met Cheshire Kot and asked it:
- - Tell, please, where to me from here to go?
- - And where you want to get? - - Kot answered.
- - Me all the same... - - Alice told.
- - Then all the same where and to go, - - noticed Kot.
- -... if only to get where - nibud, - - Alice explained.
- - Where - nibud you will surely get, - - Kot told. - -
It is necessary to go only long enough. this
C should not agree.
Where I want to get, arriving thus - it is the second question which helps me to choose the necessary decision. When I ask the person to tell
about to what he would like to come, usually he begins to speak about from what he wants to leave: “I want not to be ill, not to suffer that there were no problems at work that the conflicts in a family … stopped“ But the objectives cannot be achieved if it has the negative formulation. We give these the direct instruction unconscious to work in an opposite direction as it does not perceive a particle “not“.
What occurs when you speak to the child: “Do not go to a pool, and that you will fall? “ It is correct. It does all that you told, only without particle “not“, i.e. goes to a pool and falls. Therefore you before eyes have to have a positive image of the purpose:
- to be healthy;
- to find composure;
- to adjust relationship with colleagues and the management;
- to create the world in a family.
So, the question “Where I Go?“ helps me to understand whether in what I am engaged now promotes, to achievement of my ultimate goal? Where what I do now will bring me?
If question: “Where I go?“ helps me to understand whether I will come as a result to the happiness, i.e. whether I will reach as a result of a terminal, ultimate goal, the question “What for?“ defines my tool requirements. It means necessary for achievement of happiness.
For example, many consider that to feel happy, they need a lot of money. But money is only one of tools for achievement of the purpose and is not value in itself.
To track a chain from tool requirements to terminal, there is an excellent way. It is necessary to ask himself: “What do I want above all?“ For example, you answer: “To earn a lot of money“. Then you ask: “And why to me it is a lot of money?“ Let`s say the answer - “To build the house“. Further you ask again: “Why to me house?“. And again you answer. A question “what for?“ not less than 15 are set - ti time until it is impossible to answer it because you will come to the terminal requirement to be happy. Question: “For what to you to be happy?“ has no answer as it and is the sense of existence of the person put by God.
Question: “Why I do it? “ gives understanding of whether it will help me with self-realization, with finding of love, freedom and, eventually, happiness.
, Why to me all this? For what? How it will help me to realize itself, the abilities, the potential? Whether will bring this happiness to me and people dear to me?
with assistance of Yulia Vasyukova