How it is correct to talk to the child?
When I wrote article about communication of children with parents, very much wanted that parents understood the most important - the child needs communication with you not less, than food, for example. It feeds on it, he it lives, thanks to it learns to live, prepares for adulthood. to the Child it is not so important
whether it has good knowledge of mathematics, whether the order at his place, is much more important for it - as to it it is and felt in this house. And to understand it, it is necessary to ask the child at least. Therefore it is also necessary to seek for full communication.
I was very much surprised by the comment to my article: “As visited PTA meeting“. But and at PTA meeting, both in telecasts, and in various magazines it is told about education of children first of all in order that parents understood importance of a problem.
You can read, not listen, not speak anything about it if you perfectly know everything. But I, for example, write such articles because for days on end I am near children, I see what actually is required to them to feel protected, happy, quiet. Also I want to prompt about it to you, parents who sometimes just have no time to notice it from - for prompt rate of modern life or from - that cry from the heart of the child: “People, talk to me! Well somebody!!“ - just do not hear.
Of course, I perfectly understand parents because itself the same ordinary person - I work, I am nervous, I am tired, I worry from - for difficulties, shortage of money, the administration. And with the advent of social networks and in general time disappeared. But it is necessary to understand that as soon as we made the decision on the child`s birth, we took the responsibility and for his physical development, and for its formation as persons. We have to prepare the child for successful life in society, to ability to bring up the next generation having worthy system of values the future depends on it.
Conversation is the most important and most important tool for communication with the child. But should talk not constantly teaching, and openheartedly and soul .
It is possible to talk about everything, even about the most insignificant episodes, happened to it in a day. Such conversation is very important for the child. Constantly talking, we create the confidential relations with it.
Sometimes parents want to talk seriously to the child, but nothing is impossible to them. And all because earlier bridges of communication with the child were not adjusted, to them was not interesting to talk to the child about what is significant and actual for it. Often parents avoid such talk, tear off them, to them it is not vital.
Therefore it is also necessary to aspire to the confidential relations first of all. You want to talk about danger of infections, about study, about maintenance of an order - you say, but that such talk was not tiresome and boring, add also the children`s subjects concerning the child. For example, about a fashionable computer game, about schoolmates. Listen kindly that the child felt that it is interesting to you.
Try to tell during communication to the child something interesting to it, it is desirable substantial, clever. During talk children, as a rule, ask many questions, give them not children`s answers, but adult, mature.
In each conversation with the child adults show the attitude towards him. At this time the child feels as far as he is loved and significant for the parents, what do they think of him. And over time of these hidden parental messages and the relations the child has a self-assessment, and also character, self-esteem and human dignity is built up. And success of his real and future life depends on it. It is very important to remember that if parents constantly communicated with the child in the childhood, then having become the adult, he will continue this communication.
Look for different ways of communication, for example, through creativity. If the child is fond of nothing, then the adult`s task - to involve him in some creative activity. Joint occupation improves mood of the child, helps to reduce stress, fatigue, favorably influences nervous system. Through creativity it is possible to teach the child to many useful and necessary things, and it is unostentatious, interesting.
In communication not to do without disputes. Parents are for some reason convinced that or in serious conversation adults surely have to come out in dispute winners. But why have to, plainly nobody knows, and such attitude towards children is harmful to formation of the growing personality, its self-assessment and its human dignity. You should not force to agree the child in each conversation with you, children not always understand adults and not always agree with them. It is normal - to argue. And the more often adults refuse a victory in disputes with the children, the quieter them children, the more validly they concern the parents and to themselves.
One of the most important tasks of adults - to support, encourage and praise the child, forming a high personal self-assessment of the growing person. Organize the life so that in it daily there was time for the own child.