How to young mothers to react to persuasive councils?
Advisers happen different and the majority of them - it is perfect strangers who cannot but share the knowledge. To them only let`s teach your mind - reason and to tell how your child awfully behaves and as badly you bring up it.
to Avoid such well-wishers it will not turn out therefore we will try to find successful ways of reaction which will calm down uninvited advisers, but at the same time will not serve as an adverse example of behavior for your child.
Practically right after the child`s birth young mother is showered literally with councils. At first grandmothers of the kid, relying on the old experience, criticize: eats badly, to sleep to go to bed late, walks a little! Everything whatever mother - all this wrong did, and to the child will be good only if implicitly to follow a grandmother`s advice.
In parallel with the councils mothers at a playground, grannies at an entrance enter, sellers in shops and even just passersby, and with them to behave is benevolent and balanced most difficultly. There is no wish to be rude, witty nothing comes to mind at once, it is necessary only to keep silent and it is angry to be removed, listening after what you indifferent mother.
So to do?
the Most difficult is to keep calm, but it what is necessary. In - the first, your child can not react to words of foreign person, and here if mother begins to be nervous, angry or snap, he will notice at once and can adopt your spiteful manner of communication with people. Even if you decided to answer the adviser, using an offensive language, do it by a quiet voice with a smile upon the face.
In - the second, most of the passersby doing you remarks actually do not worry about your child, they either intentionally, or subconsciously provoke the conflict. In common people of such people call “power vampires“. If you are quiet and will not begin to be irritated, then they quickly will lag behind you.
Listen to council!
does not need to think that if someone`s opinion disperses from yours, then it is incorrect. Listen to council, maybe, the remark really fairly and the person trying to prompt you something sincerely wishes well to your child and wants to help. Ask at the adviser whether he has children or grandsons and as he behaves in this or that situation. When business concerns a practical side of a question, usually people or give in and leave, or give a lot of useful information which for certain is useful to you in life.
I Want to give some examples of how it is possible to send away annoying passersby politely. In a situation when passersby speak to your child: “You will play about, I will take away you!“, it is possible to answer cheerfully: “No, well you, it is necessary to me!“ And if claim that now the Baba-yaga will come for it and will take away, then it is possible to object: “Do not deceive my child. It is a lie!“
If predict troubles supposedly he now a stick will put out an eye of himself or without cap will catch a cold, it is possible to thank: “Thank you that you care about we wash the kid, presently will seldom meet such not indifferent people!“ And it is possible just to apologize: “Forgive that we prevented you!“ And it is possible even to show care: “You do not worry, it is very unhealthy. I, for example, do not worry! “
If climb to get acquainted, stick with questions, try to impose own philosophy to your child, and it is not pleasant to you, just tell: “Sorry, but we teach the child not to talk to strangers!“ If the person is not appeased, then ask his surname and take an interest as often he sticks to small children. Usually people are frightened and refuse to call the surname.
And it is possible to think out nothing at all and not to look for any witty phrases. Just repeat everything in accuracy that the adviser speaks to you: “Oh, really, and what my child is badly dressed! Oh, and what he at me so shouts! Oh, and what I do not watch it!“ etc. It will begin to irritate soon the one who wanted to force to be nervous you.
And still when someone climbs to you with councils, it is possible to begin to speak wide some nonsense in general: “Oh, you know, and I had a rest in Sochi last summer. You were in Sochi? Is not present? How? In Sochi each person respecting himself is obliged to have a rest!“ And all in such spirit. Believe that after several minutes of bewilderment the adviser will leave you alone.
There is a wish to wish to all advisers not to hurry to criticize, teach and do remarks to strangers, trying to raise other people`s children. If you really want to help young mother, then support her by the kind word, praise her efforts or just tell her: “What remarkable kid at you“. For any mother it will be a huge award because it does the most hard work in the world with the maximum devotion for which do not pay, do not thank and do not raise on a career ladder.