How to fight against claims?
are Very frequent in any everyday situation or in the conflict people make each other a claim. “You are in itself, you live life and notice nothing around“, - the husband grumbles. “And you earn very little“, - the wife quarrels. Irrespective of in what verbal form they are stated - all this to a claim. And it is very unpleasant to listen to them especially as they spoil human relations.
What is a claim? This claim on possession whom / something, presentation of the right for something. Really, if the husband wishes that made for him a breakfast, “jumped“ around it, “listened spellbound“, then it means, it applies for possession of such relations or is concrete on the wife who has to execute all this as dependent. If the wife demands a salary, then it applies for money of the husband.
How to fight against claims? Actually, rules are simple.
In - the first, claims should not be taken very much to heart, that is to learn “not to join“, not to react to them. As soon as you take a claim personally, at once begin to think why you are offended why it to you is stated, than deserved such disgrace. And if the claim is stated groundlessly, then at heart in general becomes sad.
So, first rule: “do not join“ . Become “tolstoshkury“, do not react to claims.
In - the second, try to translate a claim for fun. Accept it with humor. For example, claim: “You notice nothing“. Answer: “You what, you do not see - at me eyes are closed“ or “And what should be noticed?“ Something like that.
With humour to live is easier and more cheerful. It will be one more confirmation that you react to a claim, at the same time carefree and without serious consequences. Rule second: you joke.
B - the third, you do not save a claim in yourself. The majority of us arrive as follows. Listened to a claim, did not react with words, but did not forget. So at first one was not forgotten, then - the second, third and so on. And here in your personal baggage already a sac of the claims stated to you. What to do? Not to carry with itself a sac. Of course, some with themselves it drag, and then open at the most inappropriate moment, and claims to the right and on the left pour. The tsunami from claims is simple! Here to you and conflict. What for? just it is simpler not to remember them. Rule third: forget claims.
B - the fourth, learn not to state claims to others. For this purpose do not apply for others, apply only for the, keeping at the same time the advantage and personal space. The interesting moment, claims are under construction on unrealized expectations. Here now my husband will come, flowers will bring also a salary... And here darling “was drawn“ having drunk also in a pocket of only 300 dollars, without any flowers. Of course, rating. And the person only met the friend. Here to you both expectations, and claim. In total in a heap. Rule fourth: do not build expectations not to create claims.
If you follow these simple rules, then you should not fight against claims. You will be able not to state them, and to parry with humour, to live easily and always with good mood.