How to raise a self-assessment?
my friend often complain of uncertainty in itself. For example, recently it was on interview in the large company. And during conversation with the girl from HR - department honestly admitted that it is not especially attracted by tasks in which there are a lot of legal and other restrictions.
of HR - the maiden strange looked at it and for some reason considered it necessary to notice that “and here I personally just and am attracted by ambiguous, complex challenges, and the established framework only causes in me passion!“ It simply knocked down my friend, and she nearly in tears told me about this episode, grievously howling: “Here what you should not admit on interview!!!“
- Oh yes - burst out laughing I. - What a pity that this HR - the specialist should look for copywriters and, at worst, merchandisers or loaders, but not, for example, actors for a niche porn. And I see gloss in her eyes and passion at the solution of a complex, highly specialized challenge - to find ten sexy blondes with three legs and one breast!
I, of course, amused the girlfriend. But the main thing was not to laugh, and to raise it a self-assessment that next time stupid remarks of people did not enter it into a stupor. Also you know what most important conclusion I drew? If your environment ignores you, does not laugh at your jokes and does not meet with banners any your exit on people - it is necessary to change something urgently! And not only in themselves - as advise textbooks on amateur psychology. And it is the best of all - to change an environment cardinally!
Though just on this subject there are various opinions. Recently I to one lady had a dispute. She assured me that the firm self-assessment cannot be shaken nothing - neither constant criticism, nor substakes, nor humiliation - nothing. My objections that it is impossible to be in a plague barrack and not to catch an uncertainty virus, it parried, claiming that at absolute immunity and in the presence of basic trust to the world it is even possible not to be protected in the barrier way with unfamiliar partners. Like, with absolute self-confidence and so nothing threatens.
At these her words distorted me a little. I drove away from myself evil thoughts especially as they have no relation to an essay subject. But just in case from its glass removed the cup. Just when she studied popular psychology, I studied biology - and I know that pathogenic microbes, unlike inferiority complexes, do quite not illusory harm. And those who has a low immunity should steer clear of infectious offices, congestions of people and other places of attacks of our invisible enemies. Of course, there are mythical ways to lift to themselves immunity like hardening in ice-holes and other difficult and painful methods, many of which lead to pneumonias. Truly, as precisely someone paraphrased Nietzsche: “Everything that does not kill us, does us by strong disabled people“.
And if to draw parallels, then I personally consider that people with a low self-assessment in the same way should steer clear of those who can negatively influence them. Friends do not laugh at your jokes? Employees do not appreciate your work, the administration constantly snubs, and your environment in general in a penny does not put your achievements - at least even in the form of the won office squash championship?
Work on itself - it, of course, is magnificent, as well as bathing in an ice-hole. But all - for a self-assessment all this is not as effective how to change a circle of contacts. Yes, it did not seem to you! My method - to replace the environment which is not appreciating you with that which will laugh at your stories, but not to bend the person at a sound of your voice, to love the jazz, but not Alla Pugacheva, to appreciate your subtle English humour, but not jokes “is lower a belt“, to admire what you do, but not to criticize any your act. And the self-assessment will perfectly raise - I assure you: itself did so more than once.