What is egoism?
we Will consider consistently three concepts: egoism in general, egoism in love in particular, and love (bed) egoism as one of forms of manifestation of egoism in love. A technique I offer simple: in the beginning we will ask the all-knowing Internet, and then we will connect common sense and a knowledge of life. And we will come to final judgment. Agree?
What is egoism?
Strangely enough, Google is not too plentiful on definitions. Here, perhaps, the most widespread, having roots of - on Freud: egoism is the manifestation of interest of the person to itself which is characterized by focusing on the desires, inclinations, the own world in general. Read? Wonder what contains a categorical negative in this definition? Anything, truth?
However, continuing searches further, it is possible to find numerous materials in which egoism is attributed to concept negative, even antisocial coloring. Say (further in the text in quotes are quotes), “the Christian morals teach us to care for other people, to esteem parents, to help weak and to resist to tyrants, … that the highest achievement is the feat made for the good of all mankind. We are told tales of the heroes who gave the life for the sake of rescue of other people. And we are learned to test fault for any manifestation of egoism“. Often even express opinion that egoism destroys society and therefore it has to be eradicated. In as! At the same time designate altruism as contrast to egoism: the first - is good, the second - is disgusting.
Women`s magazines add to antisocial coloring of egoism also antimuskulinny: say, egoists are men not - are attentive - are careful - are obliging - are friendly - are self-sacrificing - are unselfish … A row can be continued, but the sense, me is thought, is already clear: women not - are selfish, men - are selfish, men not - are altruistic, women - are altruistic.
But if to look still, then it is possible to hear and which - that another. That “in egoism there is nothing bad - such is human nature and to struggle with it - means to rise against a self-preservation instinct“. That “the purpose of congenital natural egoism - a survival therefore all of us are egoists completely. But on foolish combination of circumstances very much we want to see ourselves some others“. That “we find great honor in nobility, in altruism, in the help to persons in need. We care for the relatives and for those whom we love. We worry about the future of children, about cubs of seals, about ecology and about world peace. But at the same time we refuse to look to the truth in eyes - actually we care only about to ourselves“.
Here so - that, ladies - misters! The person who is sincerely recognizing himself as the egoist and acting in compliance with it is more honest, than the affected hypocrite acting for the good from understanding “so has to“ and contrary to the ego.
Here still quote: “Than stronger the person believes in disinterestedness of the thoughts and acts, he is more unfortunate than subjects“. How to you? It is strongly told, isn`t that so?
Here an example - the explanation: two different persons, one - the sincere egoist, another - the affected hypocrite, give gifts to the relatives. The first accurately understands that in fact it does a gift as if for itself(himself), proceeding from own (read - egoistical) self-interest, just it is pleasant to give it. It korysten, but is honest. Therefore to it in general all the same, will cause a gift I drill joyful emotions or it is polite - indifferent gratitude: the - that ego it already satisfied!
The affected hypocrite, being just the same mercenary, pretends that there is no personal benefit in his act that the gift is only for the sake of the neighbor, for him / her and with the purpose to bring that a storm of joyful emotions. What occurs if instead of counted he receives politely - indifferent gratitude? Offense? Misunderstanding? Charges? Quite so, agree! And why? Because the affected hypocrite wants to believe in disinterestedness of this act, being by the nature human - the egoist!
As a conclusion - one more quote: “In the person there is nothing, except own selfish “Want!“, and the more distinct he sees it, the simpler and more natural him life, the is simpler and more natural than its relation with people. Egoism - absolutely healthy feeling if to cease to hesitate of it. The more from it you hide, the more it breaks outside in the form of unreasonable offenses and attempts to manipulate people to itself(himself) for the benefit. And the more you recognize it, the more distinctly you understand that this egoism and forces us to honor freedom and interests of other person. Conscious reasonable egoism - the only way to healthy and constructive human relations“.
Having finished the Internet - search, we will try to connect common sense and a knowledge of life. In all honesty, answer with whom it is easier to communicate - with the person who absolutely or almost does not make you at all a claim which, as a rule, is happy with everything, has steadily - positive mood? Or with the one who - councils - lectures - opinions fills with cavils all air around your ears who waits from you for defiantly emotional manifestations of gratitude for made by it - disinterestedly! - the act and which mood is not predicted changes? With whom? That is the same!
And that to you to the fact that at the first it is manifestation of interest in itself, focusing on the desires, inclinations, on the own world in general? What does it change if ease of the relations only benefits from it? You remember, the road is paved by good intentions where?