Why the family is necessary? About trifles and the main thing in family life ofMany seniors for the best try to prompt something to young people. Especially on such important questions as life of a family and marriage. Generally, it is correct, live and learn to a wise advice of skilled people. But whether knowledge of those whose own family life broke up are sufficient?
Most often people at whom the family did not remain, try to help children to avoid the bitter mistakes. Others mistakes if they are already known, it is better really to try to avoid. Though seniors often consider sciences about the relations in a family excessive and neglect many capital knowledge, all of them try to take something from the experience and to impart this knowledge to the next generation.
But the next generation not really willingly adopts experience of parents. Exactly for the same reasons, as seniors did not want to study ready answers from books. The new generation wants to construct absolutely other family and the relations, than they observed in the childhood. There is a wish to consider mistakes and to avoid those quarrels of parents and misunderstanding to children who delivered to kids so many experiences (at all happens). By the nature and it is put: seniors leave sooner or later and let pass to young people who try to do in own way.
And how to make really in a different way? It seems what each of us precisely knows, but seniors once too tried to construct an ideal. They differed in nothing from us when too were young. Also it turned out here as we see. In the world a half of all marriages continues to break up at this time, this statistics does not change. Reason one: to avoid others mistakes and to achieve success is not same. Often avoiding of one mistakes conducts to other mistakes. To avoid is one tactics, but not strategy. And tactics without strategy seldom leads to success.
Strategy is not avoiding of mistakes, not washing of ware, not housework (though where without them). It even not patience and not self-sacrifice. In family life it is memory of a main goal of marriage: desires to carry out all life with this person. These are common interests, rhythms of life and communication, understanding in emotions. The interest in the partner which is not vanishing over the years and the variability of the relations similar only to waves against big inflow.
This concrete vision of the family and the future as the adjusted stable life in constantly kind and harmonious relations. It is the suiting moral support one another, acceptance by each other partners such what are. It is an opportunity to give each other help - to ask about the help most and with interest to render it to the partner. This desire of both partners to build the general house (to equip the apartment) so that to live in it is mute was pleasantly and comfortably. These are such relations in which the desire to change themselves to the best does not vanish, and results are perceived with interest and support.
In a word is that light purpose which warms of us soul, and detailed idea of the future which we would like to achieve. It can be slightly idealized, but and has to be. The main thing that it is attractive to us, and we with the real desire begin to move to it as to the main priority of life, without forgetting about career.
At last this ability to understand people irrespective of own sympathy. Actually, the more the person is pleasant, the it is more difficult to see his real personal qualities. And they can show absolutely other inner world, than is imagined when you look at the beautiful person of other floor.
Agree, all this not the same as in advance to compare the acquisitions and losses of real estate in case of divorce or hasty to bring children irrespective of the partner`s consent (because there is a strong wish or the recommended age approaches).
It is possible to hold all life in the head fears of mistakes, to use the best tactics, but not to achieve the main result. And instead to open surprisingly a big variety of various mistakes which as ill fate pursue certain people.
Life consists of trifles and concrete things, but if there is no vision of a main goal, then from the very beginning it is not necessary to speak about success, and all details and visible consequences are only external signs of lack of the main vector forward. The success begins it what want to see it with representation of the future. And only then select ways of its achievement, maintenance and the strong help to the partner.