Zone of psychological opening. How to formulate What purpose
of the person you consider successful? What criterion of success? First of all, probably, this ability to set before itself the purposes and competently, from beginning to end, to build the way to its achievement.
You have problems with a formulation of the purpose, such “expensive and only“? Nothing terrible, now we will try to begin to correct this “gap“ in your “vital“ education.
So, we learn to formulate the purpose correctly. 50% of success, and in some cases - depend on it even more. Pay attention to the phrase “the purpose“. The object has to be set by you and not to be imposed by someone. For example, if you consider that you have to receive this specialty in higher education institution, then words of obligation indicate that in your consciousness voices of other people sound: parents, teachers, etc. Think whether it is necessary for you? Then you will be able to tell: “I want it and nothing else!“
for this purpose, first of all, investigate the requirements. The first question which you ask yourself - such:
1. If you could do all you would like to have the house, (work, the car, health, - everything, as for achievement of the purpose). Here the detailed description in the smallest details of your future personal project is necessary.
the Following questions on clearing of the requirements:
2. What means to you to have such (….)
For example when my client asked the son what he would like to have, he told that he wants to have in the room a secret entrance to the huge lock with various toys. And the son answered a question of what means to you to have such lock that only it can come and play the toys there. The matter is that it had a younger brother who at any time could come into his room and interfere with game. (As it is important not to interrupt game activity of the child - about it in other materials).
3. What for you the main thing in it?
the Son answered that to it in that case nobody will prevent to play.
4. This only place where it can be received?
Mother already understood that at the child one of the most important needs of the person - need for personal space is not satisfied. But only whether thus, having a magic castle, it is possible to satisfy it. The son answered that he is not present if the door to the room was closed.
And last question:
5. What is necessary that at you was such (…)
In this case mother asked what is necessary in order that the door to the room was closed?
the Son answered that on a door the lock is necessary.
Otherwise in psychotherapy language such work is called transfer of a problem to the purpose. In other words, there is a certain problem which is shown as a contradiction between requirements and impossibility of their satisfaction. When you clear up the real requirements, find new ways of their satisfaction through statement of the purpose. After such work right there it is necessary to ask itself a question:
- What first step on the way to achievement of the purpose I will take directly today?
It is important to begin at once, without postponing for later. Postponement of new life till Monday does not give chances to success. Life is now.