Rus Articles Journal

In what “the extreme synizm“ is expressed?

Among all possible paradoxes of the present me are especially struck by such atavism as hysterical love of mothers to the sons.

Clear business when it was in ancient times - girls were extra mouths to feed, ballast of which it is necessary to get rid somewhat quicker, having married. But not that will hang on a family till the end of time, both feed them and dress, and that still suddenly and in a hem will be brought!

Mammoths on all you will not save enough, and not everyone is ready to hunt them, protecting production from the neighboring tribes. Of course, in those far times boys were appreciated as sources of mattsennost and defenders.

But today, thank God and to technical progress, the network of establishments where the daughter can find a job is developed, production of contraceptives is arranged and the infrastructure of kindergartens is constructed - so the girl can quite provide not only herself and the child, but also to send money to aged parents. So the question about extra mouths to feed is removed. But the problem remains.

Partially in our Post-Soviet conditions the obvious distortion of maternal love towards sons can be written off for a war echo. I dare to remind that war ended nearly seventy years ago, at least three generations were replaced. And nevertheless the ridiculous and sad picture is pretty often observed: aged mothers with affection press hands to heart, looking as their infantile sons under forty are capricious, scatter toys and in general behave irresponsibly as babies. Mothers at the same time, seemingly, do not notice obvious: that it would already be time for son to take care of the own life, to go to free floating and to heal independent life.

Instead mothers continue to change persistently pampers, to wipe snivels, to remind about a scarf and to wrap in lukewarm soup on a plate that did not cool down. To one my acquaintance mother warmed up socks in the mornings - that he not so painfully endured a prosypaniye, an exit from - under blankets in an outer space and a campaign for work (where she, however, too agreed with its administration to minimize a stress for the polovozrely sonny). Much do not manage to get rid of mamochkiny persuasive attention, having even moved to the certain apartment: hundred million calls daily, unexpected inspections and checks of a circle of contacts: and suddenly these people are not suitable on the level for my sonny?

At some reaches just extremes - for example, my neigbour did not like the darling of her son who gave birth from him to the child. You will think, you will tell - it was not pleasant so it was not pleasant, it happens pretty often! But not pretty often sons of whimsical mothers live on two families - until the child falls asleep, the man is in the apartment of the common-law wife. And comes back home late evening to mother who has pressure and “in general, she to you not couple at all“. Other son moved the aged mother from the spacious house to the small apartment on the suburb where that obediently went. You think, it something other, than not to approve the daughter-in-law? By no means are different parties of the same phenomenon which I personally christened “an extreme synizm“ - when mothers are so selflessly in love with own son that cannot adequately react to his behavior.

It is sure, each of readers can share a set of marvelous stories on this subject. Not for nothing talk on mothers-in-law - one of cornerstones of many female conversations.

What with all this to do - I do not know. In the latest psychotherapeutic theories it is said that thus women compensate the internal emptiness and deficiency of love, seeking to grow up for itself object which will be them selflessly and faithfully to love for the rest of the life. But really in our society there are so much injured women who cannot find love and are forced to look for it so zealously?

Personally it seems to me that put not only in it. Just in our society the role of the woman still is defined by her belonging to the man - therefore many do not think of the life without selfless return and with pleasure put themselves on a service altar. If the husband does not cope with it or he is absent at all - this role the son, even with damage to the last has to undertake that.

There is a wish to believe that in the next decades the situation will change - women will begin to appreciate themselves separately from men, to be engaged in own self-development, spiritual growth and will be able to take place first of all as persons - but not as appendages for service of the stronger sex.