How to overcome jealousy?
Speak, is jealous - means, loves. But it is rather, the jealousy reflects fear to be rejected by another, testifies to absence of trust. Answers of the psychologist will help you to learn better themselves and the person nearby.
Why there is a jealousy?
the Jealousy is when there is no self-reliance. If someone is jealous, he doubts himself, not the partner. The thought that the partner can find happiness with another, dements the jealous man.
Jealousy at all not a sign of love, and it is rather, possession. The jealous man the one who considers that his partner belongs only to him, but is threat that can belong also to someone to another.
Women often resort to jealousy as to means of seduction. Derive pleasure, having made the husband the jealous man because think that that will love stronger. Ladies leave false signs of incorrectness, a note with unfamiliar handwriting, others pictures. Partly truly. But it is dangerous game, and the effect can be the return.
As is shown jealousy?Both floors are equally jealous
. Both men, and women can search pockets, to read e-mail messages, telephone SMS - ki the half. Jealous men are always strained and suspicious.
The jealousy can be expressed in other ways. The one who is jealous wants to know everything about another, constantly monitoring its gestures and actions. At the same time the most innocent actions of the partner are interpreted as a sign that something not so that there is the third.
When the jealousy becomes a disease, joint life becomes intolerable. If attacks of jealousy break out too often, address the psychologist. Extremely hard cases of jealousy can develop into paranoia, even to lead to violence.
Sometimes, as suspects of change begin to act, having been tired of continuous shadowing. So jealous men become the victims.
Paradoxically, but jealous men lightens when learn that “something“ was valid.
Psychologists explain that there is nobody who would not test jealousy. Always, when there is a feeling between people, whether it be the friendship or love, is jealousy.
The jealousy is just other name for a certain type of mental behavior. It not the internal feeling given us at the birth. More likely, it is the acquired reaction developing on the course of a current of time at a certain situation.
All of us are capable to feel pain and grief, and the jealousy is a possible way of their overcoming. The jealousy can flash at any time, however you will not be able precisely to learn what provoked it. Some people can be absolutely sure of the intimate partner and go crazy, being jealous of another.
The reasons to test jealousy are numerous: low self-assessment, treachery or the painful past, uncertainty in how you look, and a set of other factors.
Than is bad jealousy? What
, however it is necessary to know - the jealousy is not expression of love. Absolutely on the contrary. This protective weapon trying to protect what, apparently, belongs to you by right. But instead of preservation of the love you will only accelerate its destruction.
Moreover, the jealousy shows that you do not respect yourself enough not to doubt other person. Though you can try to keep the relations former, unconscious actions of the jealous person will seriously wound your partner. It will turn out that instead of rescue of the relations you will achieve that the partner will reject you indignantly that will lead to deterioration in a situation.
How to overcome jealousy? It is a difficult question. Each of us was on both sides of a barricade. Being jealous the partner, we suddenly began to test uncertainty, or we were oppressed by doubts. In both cases, however, there is one exit - as soon as feel that negative emotions seized you, tell the partner about the feelings.
Understand the nature of emotions
Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger: fear to lose something, anger that somebody approaches something, in your opinion belonging to you. It is possible, however, showing wisdom, “to feel“ the emotions more thinly. Only you begin to be jealous, wonder: the jealousy, you on what basis is more - on fear or anger?
Analyse what part of a body the jealousy influences more. If you feel how the stomach pulls together in a hard lump probably it is fear. If you feel heat, feeling of asthma, to you cramps shoulders and jaws, most likely, it is anger. However it is possible to feel also a combination of both emotions. Express to
Change the true feelings, without accusing someone - it will help to establish deeper connection between you and to develop dialogue in the relations. Use “I“ instead of “you“. You do not speak “You should not do it“, tell: “I felt awfully when it occurred“.
The jealousy sounds alarm of a subject of your desires, that to you it is important. If you are jealous because that the partner talks to the friend, often it means that the personal relations are important to you. And if you are jealous about money, you, perhaps, subconsciously need safety or freedom.
Wonder: “Why I am jealous? What reason forces me to be jealous so? What do I try to keep? Why I suffer?“ When you will understand the jealousy reason, you will be able to take surely positive steps for strengthening of the positions, having disconnected negative emotions. Change
the Speech about neutralization of what provokes your jealousy. Usually it the beliefs causing emotions. It is often possible to eliminate jealousy, having studied them. For example, such: “All try to take away from me money“, “If this person will leave me - I will be left without friends“. Beliefs are subject to changes. If you change them, you change also the feelings.
When you will begin to take measures to happy life without jealousy, you will see how the anger and fear will disappear. Do not listen to the people forcing you to be jealous.
Well in this situation the fact that jealous men are good and diligent lovers. Being afraid of replacement them in a bed, they waste many efforts for satisfaction of objects of the love and adoration.
So can, the jealousy nevertheless is useful?