Condition of reality? Self-confidence!
Let`s remember the ordinary phrase “I am not sure (or it is sure)“. It is said often. On the one hand, it just designation of the state - current or constant. Nevertheless, at it there is a certain implication. It is interesting by the address as a matter of fact itself(himself) to itself(himself).
That is turns out that a certain part in us addresses certain other part and defines, the person is sure or diffident. If to ponder, then it turns out that I am not self-assured (or it is sure), and it sounds absurdly. For the statement, the person is confident in himself or not, the understanding of the real situation is required. It means that the part estimates us us from a reality position.
It is well known that practically each person has two main representations of. And if one real, then second illusory. In general this phenomenon is rather well investigated in psychology, in particular in Karen Horni`s works “The neurotic identity of our time“, “Neurosis and personal growth“, etc.
It follows from this that exists, figuratively speaking, our real personality and a certain meeting of ideas of themselves and world around. The stronger there are illusory representations, the further the real personality is from reality, especially its situation on “earth“ is “unsteady“. Up to that the illusory image can replace the real personality substantially.
Considering questions of uncertainty in itself from a position of a condition of reality in which anyway there is a part of our personality, it is possible to assume that the condition of reality produces sure behavior. And isolation from it, respectively, generates uncertainty.
Obviously, it demands explanations. For a start, assuming existence of sure behavior in a condition of reality, it is required to define in one way or another reality, that is to try to understand its main characteristics that is represented by the person who is in this condition of reality.
Possibly, recognition that it exists will be the most important in concept of reality. This basic concept meaning as existence of reality is also possible.
The second concept is a basic understanding that in objective reality there can be a person who is in a condition of reality. With it it is already more difficult as the condition of reality cannot be absolute and it is learned all the same through our feelings. Possibly, the baby who only was born more is in a condition of reality and confidence in the forces, than it is possible at late age.
We can assume what for the person aspiring to a condition of reality very useful will rely on some basic ideas of the nature, proceeding from recognition of existence of reality. And a basic point will be what is called scientific approach.
Namely the fact that of people is a product of the nature and evolution which appears on this earth without obligations, the purposes and sense, with a basic set of instincts, temperament and inevitability of training in public behavior.
It is basic reality of the person which acceptance, apparently, can provide harmonious development and sincere health. Moreover, it is basic reality for one and all people. The sure behavior, in my opinion, also belongs to these basic components and is inherent practically in any person initially as promoting, at least, a survival.
The source of sure behavior finds in the person. Also is based on real understanding of the world.
What the real understanding of the world means? It means the maximum acceptance it it what it is.
The world, including human society, has one main characteristic - it is changeable . And it is important to understand and accept it.
Under variability of the world practically everything gets. For example, fair it can be recognized unfair today tomorrow; the brotherhood of the people addresses in hostility; war is replaced by the world; kindness against own survival becomes an empty phrase; truth, the extorted “clever“ people, can be not truth at all, and just opinions which the majority joined.
The education received by the majority of us does not allow to understand correctly degree of inconstancy of the world, people, societies in general, and also to deal with degree of our responsibility for the events and degree of our opportunities of influence on the events .
There are many illusions. For example, that “only I was responsible for disintegration of my family“, “all have to submit to rules“, “the senior people know how it is better“, “it is always necessary to help friends“, “except mother, I am necessary to nobody“, “all against me“, “I am a loser“, “I have no forces“, “one fools around“, “I am an exclusive personality“.
Illusions are directly connected with uncertainty. They are absent. But we begin to think, work, live, at last, proceeding from own illusions. In principle, it would not contradict our sure behavior (that is it is possible to believe sacredly and in illusions) if in depth that part which all - is responsible for communication with reality, would not know that it is only our representations.
Actually we respond with illusions to variability of the world , trying to stop it for ourselves . We need it that to receive stability and to reduce alarm . But is that cannot be stopped . Fortunately, there is other option - it is possible most to become a reference point. It is also confidence. Get rid of illusions, - and among bonuses receive confidence.
In a condition of reality of people differently understands many things. No, it does not gain any special abilities, just he sees more accurate and draws other conclusions. For example, he understands that you should not be afraid of people and behaves with them surely. Just because it is necessary to be afraid of people only in exclusive situations - for example, at night in a gate.
Or, for example, in a condition of reality you understand words and acts of other people much better. Treachery of the loved one appears unpleasant action for which that had own bases. From this it is necessary to draw conclusions, to regret some time, to long, worry, but it is impossible to plunge into a long depression with suicide reflections. Besides here direct link with confidence - not constructive experiences do us weak and diffident.
Still option - the person in a condition of reality is capable to choose itself and it is correct to choose, but not to be chosen. And to choose, it is necessary to be sure that you want to make such choice. That is to understand the validity of the desires.
In general, ideally to a condition of reality of the person there corresponds the validity of feelings, the validity of our desires and the purposes. More precisely, the reality defines the validity. And the validity - excellent basis for confidence.