What to do if you lower hands?
Ya ceased to drink Coca few months ago. The Coca Cola can in day was one of my main addictions. Sometimes my addiction to this drink has still an effect.
Every day it is unexpected for me (but, fortunately, it is not so frequent) the low voice in the head begins to speak: “It does not seem to you that to drink stakes with ice and a fresh lemon now it would be just healthy?“ This desire becomes so strong that I do not even represent how the people taking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or doing drugs have to feel.
At the same time I noticed one interesting thing. If I do not give up and I can keep at least several seconds, this desire passes. Scientists say that on average such desires appear at people from four to seven times a day, but last only several seconds. And everything that it is necessary for us, it to learn to cope with during this time.
Understanding of such transience - one of the basic principles of the Buddhism. In it it is told: “thoughts and feelings arise - and leave“. You need to do nothing with them, you do not need to hold them, you do not need to drive them away. They just come and leave. The more attention we pay to process of their emergence and leaving, the less we concentrate on feelings and thoughts.
How to cope with such situation? The known American business - the psychology and self-development coach M. J. Rein in the new book “This year I... How to change habits, to keep the promise or to make what so long ago of dreamed“ offers exercise “We meet the aggravated feelings“. The sense of exercise is in understanding what occurs in you, and to cease to have the feelings specified in your answers.
For this purpose it is necessary to learn to share thoughts, visions, feelings and perception. “I want to a stake“ is a thought. The despair is a perception. The picture of deprivation something is a vision. But the majority of us cannot do anything with feeling which is connected with thoughts and perception. Where in your body the feeling hides? Where it? In a mouth? In a stomach? In the head? Tell about it so as if you the journalist writing about news. Precisely and without interpretations.
Feelings: what I feel in the body? (Heat, cold, pressure, constraint, stretching.) Where exactly they are felt?
Visions: what pictures are drawn by your consciousness? (Curtailed in a ball, a pure wall, a plane crash.)
Feelings: what emotions you feel? (Fear, grief, anger, apathy, hopelessness.)
Thoughts: what you tell yourself? (I will not endure it, it will never end, I forever will remain alone.)
At first all this can seem illogical. All of us got used or to reject the feelings, or to be given them completely. But it is more correct to arrive on the contrary.
This exercise really works, but it cannot be made once and then to forget forever. That you change in yourself what fears you feel and how often you feel a temptation, it will be necessary to carry out this exercise several times a day.
Such exercise helps us to study itself. The Buddhist monk Tit Nat Khan calls it “consciousness of the blue sky“. Our thoughts and perception float as clouds on the sky. Even if there are clouds, the sky in itself remains blue. The blue sky is a tranquility. And even serenity.