What is love?
the Subject of love concerns all and everyone. As the poet - irrespective of age fairly noticed. Probably, for this reason and I do not pass by it. And if to consider what in my private life of this flying phenomenon is not always enough, then it is necessary to recognize that my requirement of clearing of an essence of a phenomenon under the name “love“ is quite justified.
And therefore I collect - both in literature, and in life - different examples of the statements treating the subject interesting me. Here one of them. It belongs to the Polish writer Janos Vishnevsky fashionable now: “Love - only incidental and very short condition of replacement of own egoism in favor of egoism of other person“.
A keyword in this treatment, in my opinion, - egoism. Really, two forces, egoistical by the nature, face - egoism to glorify object of worship with egoism of this object to be a glorification subject. One subject egoistically burns down in passion, another - ignites it. One admires, another costs on a pedestal. And to everyone, I will emphasize, the assumed role seems to everyone quite natural, integrally inherent, and therefore not causing any fears: one subject forces out from himself egoistical aspiration to be a deity, and instead finds the strongest pleasure in a worship to someone, another eats that, forcing out from itself spirit of a worship, becomes an idol.
Why this replacement is short-term? The example given by Vishnevsky in shaking on force of impact on the reader in the short story “Test“ is interesting in this context. Briefly a history essence such is. The young charming Pole of times of disintegration of the Soviet system receives the offer of a hand and heart from successful and already very rich American business - the consultant, and the offer is followed by the whole series of romantic meetings lasting from several minutes to several tens hours in the different cities of Europe and America where uneasy business life abandons him and where he invites the beloved. It accepts the offer, the family of the groom gives a green light, and with a speed of an express train business goes to a wedding. Which comes true. But then … Here this interferes ill-fated “but“ - the girl is HIV - infected. Alas.
The romanticism from our pragmatically adjusted American immediately flies, it interrupts any contacts with it - completely, that is is absolute, categorically, up to installation of a shifrozamk on doors of the rooms. The girl in a terrible stress, it - on trips. A happy end here such is. As a result of three-months “flashes love supernew“ everything falls back into place: our American - to the consultations, the Pole - to Poland, previously having found out that the first test was wrong, and actually it is completely healthy. This, no doubt, the fact, favorable for the heroine, nevertheless, does not rescue her relation with the husband. They part …
Short-term replacement of egoism? Yes, only for several months of an eclipse.
And why such replacement incidental? It seems to me that all the matter is that such couples meet incidentally, in this process there is no regularity, except the requirement or to become on a pedestal, or to admire it. As soon as such couple meets in at one time and in one place, so immediately there is what romantics and poets call “spark“: everyone takes the place put for itself. Therefore we observe in life and we study examples of how the young rich handsome falls in love with the tongue-tied uneducated florist in literature. And the court beauty loses mind from love to the ugly humpback.
Thus, it is possible to claim what to fall in love, that is to force out for more or less long time own egoism in favor of egoism of other person, only such couple of people, one of whom is predisposed to become an idol, and another - the idolater can.
At the same time the stronger this their initial predisposition, the is more long the replacement period, that is love. And the are more probable on their course of life of collision with other idols or idolaters, the more this replacement - love is subject to tests of marital infidelity.