Mother`s caress ofWarm autumn evening. Near me there were a woman with the girl of preschool age, and I became the involuntary witness to their short conversation.
- Mothers, why to the person fingers standing?
- Is necessary.
, It seems, the smile was raised at me by this dialogue, but also some disappointment. As often we forget about attention and respect for the little interlocutor. In total hurriedly, in vanity and not to explanations, especially as here unclear: why fingers standing. There is no need and to reflect on such trifles, the head is stuffed by more important problems. And that turns out as a result.
“The child does not understand me. I speak to it, and he climbs under a table and does not want anything to listen or looks at me as though he in emptiness, and all the same does in own way. Of course, I break. It is intolerable“, - the client tells me. I invite her to consultation with the child.
The boy at that time was 7 years old. He went to school recently and experienced some difficulties. As soon as - that was impossible to the first grader, he very much was upset, began to be capricious and did not want to do at all homework because all the same it will not turn out. What was done by his mother? She tried to explain to him that he has to study well, otherwise will not be able to enter then the institute and to receive a good salary. But the son became isolated even more and began to cry. Mother was upset too, but what to do, did not understand.
Of course, the reasons of unwillingness to study can be much. It is the increased uneasiness, inability to communicate with children, isolation, uncertainty, etc. But if we continue to talk to children in this way, we will hardly be able to reach them. Therefore I suggested mother with the son to choose the pleasant toy and to play with each other. For adults it is a task, sometimes, excessive in spite of the fact that adults continually play lives, trying on on themselves various masks.
So, the confused mother and the joyful child went to the fantastic country. At first it was difficult for the woman: it is difficult to return to the childhood, to think out on the run, to leave an image uneasy, something is constant the controlling and explaining parent. And the boy felt it: he was upset when he noticed at mother former intonations in a voice, a certain intensity and attempts to teach: “do not touch, do not touch, be accurater, do not break“. But once she all - remembered the childhood, the favourite fairy tale character and with pleasure joined in game. The multi-colored carpet on which mother with the son sat turned into a flower glade where it was possible to walk, flit from a flower on a flower, to smile each other and even to mold something from plasticine. Half an hour was past quickly, and mother who already removed from herself stress and the happy first grader happy embrace each other. And we will give advice which, I hope, the key to heart of your child will help you to pick up.
If you see that the child is upset and does not want anything to do, just tell him: “I feel that you are grieved by something. What happened?“ Forget about the problems, try to understand what occurs in soul of your child, share with it the experiences. Set aside towards lecture and philosophizing: they will not change weather in mood. Remember the childhood, feel as equals with the child: only it generates trust and openness. The child, in turn, will feel that he is loved, will understand and will support at a difficult moment that the house - its fortress, and will not be afraid to show the feelings. And still … Do not forget to embrace your kid.